F2

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F2. Useless motherfuck.

F2 is, bar none, the most useless and neglected key you will find on your keyboard. More than Scroll Lock. More than Pause, more than Break, even more than SysRq. You know why those are better? Because they have a discernible purpose at their basis. F2 is a goddamned placeholder.

[edit] Fucking Useless

F2 is so useless that it doesn't even show up on a Google Image search. This is a Nikon F2 camera. It beat the key.

What does F2 do? Nothing. Absolutely nothing. It is the default SMILE button in MapleStory

Go ahead, try it.

Press it right now. I'll wait.

Nothing happened, hm? Exactly. You know why? You will find that in any program, in any operating system, in any computer, F2 does not have a function (except the crappy windows games). I defy anyone to show me anything that uses it.

“Well, you can use it to rename a file or folder when using a file explorer”

~ Me on F2 key

“Ok smartypants, you 've just ruined a perfectly good article to say stuff nobody cares about. Happy now? ”

~ Contestant on Me

Well-- All right, shut the fuck up, it's my time.

Christ.

[edit] Why It's Fucking Useless

This is the F2 sniper rifle. It beat the key.

Why does it not work? Take it off of the keyboard.

This isn't a two-way street, bitch. Take the key off the board.

Now, you see what's under that? Nothing. Absofuckinglutely nothing. Take off a useful key, like the Backspace or something. You see what's under that?

Useful shit. That clicky thingy, or the electric pad thingy, or some shit like that. But under the F2 key? Nothing.

Programs can't use shit they don't detect. Because it doesn't fucking work.

[edit] How It Came to Be Fucking Useless

This is the F2 phone. This beat the key.

The F2 key sits between the F1 key and the F4 key. (Don't get me started on the motherfucking F3 key.) I imagine the start of this clusterfuck of plastic, beveled edges, and futility was along these lines:

Programmer A: Okay, we've got help set. What should quit be?
Programmer B: F4!
Programmer A: Why F4?
Programmer C: Fuck you, I like F4.
Programmer A: What the fuck happened to F2 and F3?
Programmer B: I don't give a shit. Just throw them on there.

Lazy fucks.

[edit] In Conclusion

Found it. Page nine. Down there, below that guy's finger. No, not that, down below the-- no, too far. No, below that. No! That's not-- fuck it. Fucking... fuck it.

Fuck the F2 key. Seriously. Fuck that shit. Show me one good use of it.

Shut the fuck up, we did this already.

Alright, you, that's it. Get the fuck out. I got other customers.

...

Hey, welcome to Best Buy. What can I do ya for? ... yuh-huh. Yuh-huh. Okay, shut the fuck up and buy a protection program.