Extreme Piano Playing
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.
Extreme Piano Playing is part of the growing trend of 'extreme' sports which emerged in the 21st century, specifically 1999. The sport, known to it's enthusiasts as EPP!, takes principles from the normal rules of piano playing and mixes them with something more sinister 'Dan The Russian' is widely regarded as the most Extreme of all as he killed his mother and 71 others during his last concert.
[edit] How it is played
There are no age or gender restrictions whilst playing EPP!. However, those who part-take should be educated to Grade 8 standard in practical playing and theory.
The game itself is played on an individual basis with one piano per competitor. Two competitors challenge each other in face-off to see who can complete a musical piece (usually composed by Mozart). Up until this point there appears to be nothing extreme about Extreme Piano Playing. However, please note that this sport has been the cause of many, many deaths with thousands of young muscians' lives cut short in their pursuit of thrills.
The extreme part of Extreme Piano Playing is down to the fact that said pianos are rigged with explosives and electric shock devices. Once a musical piece has been chosen - it is up to the competitor to play the tune without touching a key that has been wired with explosives.
[edit] Winning the game
The person who completes their musical piece will be declared the winner. If, on the rare occasion both contestants finish then the player with the least body parts lost will be declared victorious. If no body parts are lost, opponents must fight to the death with a hand-held weapon of choice.


