Extraterrestrial Highway

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Sign found on the Extraterrestrial Highway.

The Extraterrestrial Highway, located near Area 51, is the port of entry for all extraterrestrial traffic to our planet.

[edit] Construction

Construction of the highway began in 1940 and was finished in 1945. It consists of 10 road kilometres and 3 light-years in hyperspace.

The highway was built in order to implement the resolution of the United Nations of Earth Assembly, passed in 1939, to accept resident and visiting aliens on Earth. Initially, applications are being accepted only from extraterrestrials who are bona fide refugees as defined in the multilateral Treaty on Refugees signed between Galactic Federation members at Andromeda III in 1936. It is hoped that the new immigrants will be able to fill jobs that Earthers are no longer interested in doing, for example:

Politicians
Judges
Lawyers
Surrogate Mothers
Doctors
Scientists
Police
Army / Navy / Air Force
Presidents and Politicians

[edit] Benefits

The highway is also expected to have economic benefits for our planet as it will expand tourism from abroad, thereby helping to balance Earth's growing trade deficit. However, some people warn of illegal immigrants from planets such as Mars, Alpha Draconis and Zeta Reticuli I and II. However, by 2026, the American Empire is planning to have upgraded the highway to Level 89/99 security.

[edit] Tourism

Visitors to the extratesticle highway include, what mainstream society refers to as “Nerds” or prolific masturbators. The type of people that have absolutely no semblance of a life.

Generally the type that find a trip to the Laundromat intriguing. While chewing on tin foil.

Usually the type seen on the lonely stretch just before Hyperspace, are what mainstream society refer to as “Nerds”. The kind of people that couldn’t get laid in a women’s correctional facility with a case of cigarettes, and 20 blank pardons. The great State of Nevada has taken pity on these poor souls. Due to their pathetic lives, and psychological states. Most are the victims of a “Walk In” and are scarred for life. (A Walk in: When a parent or older sibling opens the door during your alone time.) A support group for victims of the “Walk In”, holds regular meetings out in the desert exactly 212 yards off of the Extraterrestrial Highway. Albeit No Kleenex products or personal lubricants are allowed. Support is key, for the suffering caused by such a traumatic event. The annual “Carpal Tunnel of Love” and “Burning Inflatable Doll” festivals are held at the Extra terrestrial highway as well. Not to be confused with “The Burning Man” festival held in central Nevada, the festival that has made many people simply say WTF?