Exsanguination

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Exsanguination is the process by which blood is removed from the body for beneficial purposes, such as donations to a Blood Bank, feeding tame vampires, and, in medieval times for medicinal purposes (i.e. bloodletting).

[edit] Exsanguination: Medieval Sport

Exsanguination was once popular as a method of settling disputes. In teams ranging anywhere from a single person to entire countries, exsanguination would be used to decide which group of people was in the right, between two large parties. Exsanguination is fairly simple; the sole rule of exsanguination is that the team that spills the most blood wins. Generally it proceeds thus:

Both teams equip themselves with any manner of specially designed or improvised sharp, or, in some cases, blunt, weapons, including, but not limited to

• Swords
• Halberds
• More Swords
• Spears
• Knives
• Pitchforks
• Spoons
• Axes
• Rocks
• Maces
• Baseball bats
• Cans of Mace (edge leaves a nasty gash on a forehead)

Often times, the weapons the teams could scrounge up to use in the game prove to be instrumental in deciding the outcome of the match, although the best professional teams always have funding for specifically designed exsanguination weapons.

Because human flesh is not the best defense against sharp metal objects, not to mention because getting cut hurts, the teams also try to find any sort of armor they can. Again, the better funded professionals tend to have the best armor. Often in small, rec-type games, especially impromptu ones, armor is foregone completely.

The teams also try to develop a strategy to help them win. This can be important, although it is the rare team captain who can consistently devise good strategies based on the sizes of the two teams, relative positions, terrain contours, surrounding objects, and so on.

The two teams then generally line up where they are and face the other team. They start towards each other, in whatever fashion they deem fit. Between some teams is held a tradition of taunting the other team's members before the game commences. This is intended to drive the other team's members into a seething rage that destroys their ability to concentrate on the game. The better players have long endured this, and have built up resistance; some people also seem to have a natural resistance.

Exsanguination gradually became less and less popular, due to the high injury dropout rates, very high death rates, and especially because of the risk of bloodborne pathogens. It also tended to verge on war; it is so similar to war that often people could not tell the difference. War was generally accepted as a much more effective way of settling disputes, and exsanguination died off. The Society for Creative Anachronism often has recreations of these famous games, but instead of actually drawing blood, they estimate the amount of damage, etc. done by each weapon blow.

[edit] Exsanguination in the Present-Day

Today exsanguination is played, with great care, in meat packing facilities; the cows nearly always lose.

The Society for Creative Anachronism often has recreations of those famous medieval games, but, instead of actually drawing blood, they estimate the amount of damage, etc. done by each weapon blow. This way, none of the participants are actually harmed, as it would displease the scientists