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Regular exorcism has been shown to make your neck more limber.

Serafin-Luftmann, Elise

A demon possessed witch about to feel the burn.

Exorcism is a traditional Christian form of athletic activity that rids the body of spiritual possession. Though invented by ancient Greek Amazons for the orgy of firm flesh known as the Olympics, rigorous exorcism is what gave Jesus such well developed abdominal muscles on the cross; that and forgoing the traditional Jewish dietary laws so he could get more protein from shellfish while jogging over the ocean. No longer a scrawny ten pound weakling, Jesus amazed everyone down at the beach when he threw Hercules into a pile of sand. From that day forth he sold the secret to his success through a series of self help strength training courses sold in the back of his comic books. The dynamic tension of ones own muscles exerting themselves on one another, which was how the lions at the zoo stayed so fit he realized. Next thing you know, Christians were lining up at the Colosseum to wrestle lions as part of their extreme exorcise regiment.

To get even more miraculous muscles, some Christians started injecting demons into their veins; going into berserk trances they blamed on the ghosts of the kittens they huffed. Most of these were very fit witches with nothing better to do as they sat around the farm brewing up bizarre body building supplements. It would often take mobs of medieval peasants to spot these women's weights as they used extreme exercise equipment like the Judas Cradle and the Iron Maiden. They would often lift weights underwater combining cardio with strength training. Those women dunked like they were in the WNBA.

Exorcism remained largely unheard of among protestants, limited mostly to circuses until the emergence of the physical culture movement under Queen Victoria. After the 70's their was a resurgence of interest in exorcism following father Arnold Schwarzenegger's role the dogmatic docudrama Pumping Evil and it's sequel Pumping Evil II: The Remarkably Large Nuns.

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