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“This is the main Cause of Diabeetus.”
“BEST SHOW EVER EVEN BETTER THAN LORD ILPALAZZO OH NOES WAIT WHAT AM I SAYING KYAAAAAAAA!”
Excel Saga is the coolest, most action-packed anime ever. It gets down every cliché of anime and mangles it hard and dry real good, with some lesbianism to boot. It also makes fun of everything that exists.
The main character. She talks really fast and kicks everyone's asses for being such faggots and best of all, dons her awesome powered armor suit that she wears in almost every episode, if not all the time. She totally wreaks havoc in it. Only she gets to wear it, though. Fighting giant robots, pimping guys, owning legions of faggots, and being just plain awesome: Excel is the one who can do it all!
This is Excel's buddy and even supposed girlfriend (they're both bi, just so you know). in the manga, there are often hints that they are lesbians, but they are quite subtle so it takes a dirty mind to pick out those bits. Sometimes, Excel undresses Hyatt with force to get her into her own armor suit, except not for the most part. Because Excel gets to have all the fun and Hyatt apparently doesn't do crap, except for die repeatedly and come back to life. She has an unlimited store of blood in her body which she can release at will, she once flooded the world with her blood for 150 days out of sorrow because Alucard didn't reply to her fan mail. Christians then decided that it must have been an act of God because they didn't want to admit that someone with boobies could wipe out 9/10's of the planet. More info on her will be disclosed later.
Excel's slave driver at Across who tries to boss her around everyday, he's got noob cat eyes and pointlessly small lenses in his glasses. She's too cool to take crap from some fag like him, so she slayed his ass. Really, there's no need for this guy. Lose him already.
A dead Mexican immigrant worker. Or maybe he's Spanish. Or something. He dies about 5 seconds after he's introduced and then dies again 5,000 times before the series ends. Basically, he falls in love with a floating circle with arms before totally getting his ass kicked by a guy who can't decide on his accent. Pedro is shoved into pudding and thrown into the ocean, where he dies for the billionth time. Then he gets a second chance at life because he drank eggs and ran a little bit. Something like that would have made Ghost Whisperer much more interesting. But I digress. He gets his ass kicked again and makes a Dragon Ball reference to save his wife/blue circle.
Watanabe, Iwata, Sumiyoshi, Matsuya
4 really annoying people that cosplay and provide pointless comic relief. Watanabe is always pissed, Iwata is an idiot, Sumiyoshi is a mute and smart, Matsuya hates them all.
A robot with boobs. She's pretty obviously a robot, but Iwata falls in love with her anyway for some reason. There are about 100,000 clones of her that are all exactly the same. So she's pretty generic.
Her name is the same, but while Ropponmatsu1 is funny, Ropponmatsu2 is just annoying. Everyone hates her. She is a one-of-a-kind, though. Oh, yeah, and she's a lesbian. And a robot. Are you freaked out yet?
Otherwise known as Kabapoop, he swears to protect this city. He even tries to save the city by shooting at falling debris, screaming for it to drop. If he wasn't an idiot, he would see that the same thing would happen if it dropped. His mustache is fake.
Every anime needs a child molester, and that's Shiogi for you. He's a child molester pedobear rapist. He made all the Ropponmatsus and video tapes Hyatt's butt for fun.
IT'S THAT MAAAAAAN!!!
Mouse-ish aliens that look so cute until they get injured. Then they're hideous. Late in the series, they all take part in a parody of Star Wars/Star Trek/Battlestar Galactica/Doll/Mother.
Dog (that is obviously a cat) who serves as an emergency food source for ACROSS. She has two episodes based around her which involve all of her friends dying.
Who the hell is she anyway? some noob from the manga.
Afro warrior who happens to be the director. you have gotta see the awesome part were he has two M-60's and he totally poons the guys who pooned tetsuko. oops, plot spoilzorr.
Excel Saga takes place sometime in the moderately-distant future. It's in the year 2100, where everything is devoid of originality, STILL, ever since the beginning of the century (ugh). People everywhere have absolutely no clue what the hell they're supposed to be doing in terms of how to live their lives. So Across is there to put an end to this crap. Excel and Hyatt of the Across organization are there to kick unoriginality square in the ass, and save the day, every day. Sadly, Hyatt doesn't get to have any fun and therefore, doesn't do much in most episodes. She's just there is all. Excel's always just making out with her at the end of every episode once all the unoriginal minions are gone for the day. This makes her unable to breathe and thus, she dies. And comes back to life again. As always. (Sorry guys, but Excel is way too cool for a boyfriend. Well, we can only hope, cuz she's bi) Excel's armored hardsuit is her most famous asset and allows her to destroy all the unoriginality in this corrupt world. More info on her hardsuit is discussed below.
Details of Excel's Powered Armor Suit (Hardsuit)
The most loved aspect of the series is Excel's snazzy armored hardsuit. Now, this is no totally cliché generic Samus Aran-type crap or anything like that. This is real truthfully awesome use of a combat suit to the max. As stated earlier, various people get into trouble with various problems that involve unoriginality plaguing the world. This is apparently where Excel's armor comes in handy.
- Contact Suit/Bodysuit/Skinsuit: In order to put it on, Excel must go and completely undress and then don a skintight contact suit (which she apparently has some trouble putting on at first) that's used to connect to the armor. Once she gets that on, she puts on her newfound hardsuit to go kick some ass. On occasion, when she's losing power during a battle with some unoriginal minion faggots, it eventually falls off and she has to battle on whilst in her bodysuit.
- Helmet: Allows Excel to get a better view of her surroundings and gives her any heads-up displays and stuff like that. Due to her fast-talking, it also allows her to sound a bit slower, making it easier for others to understand. At times, she battles without it because she's that awesome.
- Rail Gun: These allow Excel to shoot lasers at her foes to stun them. Not much damage is done. Just stunning foes.
- Missile Launcher: Mounted in her left arm gauntlet are small special arm cannons that allow Excel to fire missiles at her enemies. She can set it between homing missiles and straight shots.
- Charge Buster: Another arm-mounted gun on her right gauntlet is another type that allows her to charge up a plasma shot and fire it at any time, especially once it grows in size and power.
- Grenade/Bomb: Excel can carry a number of these in various special kinds inside her hardsuit. The kinds she lobs create different effects.
- Hi-Jump: Those platforms may have some style, but implanted on the bottoms of her feet, Excel's got pads that allow her to leap high (like buildings in a single bound).
- Grappling Hook: In Excel's right gauntlet is also mounted a grappling beam that allows her to grab onto ledges or swing back and forth between gaps.
- Back Booster: On the back of Excel's hardsuit is a jetpack-like booster that allows Excel to soar to great heights.
- Gun/Blade Hybrid: When in her bodysuit/skinsuit, Excel can carry around this particular weapon. She can switch it between a gun or a light blade at will at any time during a battle. More information will be revealed later.
- Frying Pan: When she's in her bodysuit/skinsuit, Excel can often whip out her frying pan and beat some faggot asses good with it (as seen in her picture above).
Apparently, these are all generic cliché features of any kind of armored suit. When she's not fighting in it, she wears it mainly to show off and look pretty. At the end of every episode, she takes off her helmet and just plain dazzles everyone, even her girlfriend, Hyatt. Either that or she removes her armor altogether, then in her skinsuit. Don't forget: having a girl wear this archetype of a battle suit is very common in most anime.
Excel Saga became the top-rated series of its kind at its time rather instantly. Her hardsuit was so popular that everyone around has made replicas of it all over the place, and that almost every girl around is cosplaying in it. It even has all the powers contained in it, so that if unoriginality strikes again, anyone can spring into action with the armor to stop it. This also inspired lots of other spin-offs such as "PowerPoint Saga" and "Word Saga". But the women portrayed in them just couldn't match the awesomeness of Excel, and then those series were cancelled. One day, Excel got pregnant and gave birth to Samus. Believe it or not, all these hardsuit techniques were handed down to her by Excel.
Excel in Super Smash Bros. Brawl
Excel will be appearing in Super Smash Bros. Brawl for the Nintendo WeeWee. She will be using her hardsuit all the time and will occasionally remove it like Samus does to hers and appear in her bodysuit.
Apparently, info has just been revealed at Smash Bros. Dojo. Only her Final Smash is known at this moment. It is strikingly very similar to Samus's, in the sense that it is a ginormous laser that causes her hardsuit to fall off and go into her skinsuit/bodysuit form. Bits of her hardsuit can be thrown around, too.