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Hello there Agent <insert name here>. I have been expecting you. As you can see, there is no escape from my
crib evil lair. You are surrounded by my best henchmen, the Giant Midget, Mistress Manly and Generic Lieutenant whose name slips my mind at the moment. You will never stop my plan to destroy/take over the world!
edit My Ultimate Plan...
I know I shouldn't be mentioning this to you but I mght as well tell you every detail of my plan including the ONE way to stop it. By now, I have taken over all the Blockbusters in the entire world. Soon I will release a DVD that will kill all the people who watch it! And the only way to stop it is by pushing this button right here. Mhm, yea, this big, red one right here. One push and all of this will be over. No traps near it either. Anyhoo... this is my ultimate plan. Although I said the same for all the other mastermind plans that you stopped before, but hey, 24th time is the charm.
edit Now, what to do with you?
I will now kill you. Even though I could have you killed right here, right now, I feel as though I MUST put you in a cleverly thought out trap that gives you the chance to stop me and my doomsday weapon. So, HENCHMEN! Put <insert name here> on a small platform surrounded by lazors and sharks that can all be avoided easily if your timing is right. Now I shall engage my plans. You have some time to stop it, five and a half minutes to be precise.
Now I shall watch you as you die!
edit Maybe I should have thought this through a bit more...
Alright, you made it through the dead trap. I suppose you think you're so cool. Well guess who I have here? That's right... I have kidnapped your fish. You have 200000.7 minutes to kill the nearest bald eagle or your pet fish dies! I got my gun right here.
edit Wait, what?!
This isn't your pet fish?!?
ufuhfgtnjggtfgtthg It would still be a shame if it was hurt right? No? Ok, well, um.....oh look! A monkey! Hah, now I shall make my escape through this escape pod. We will meet again, I can garentee that. Before I go though, I'm going to give you a little parting gift. Wait, a sec... I just remember that there's no more gas in the escape pod. Oh well, at least both of us will die together.
edit SELF DESTRUCT SEQENCE ACTIVATED
CRIB EVIL LAIR WILL ASPLODE IN ONE MINUTE. BEGINNING COUNT DOWN...SIXTY...FIFTY NINE.......SELF DESTRUCT SEQUENCE DEACTIVATED
Why did I have to put the de activate button right there?!? Don't worry, I will be back, I'll always be back!
edit Wait a sec...
Holy crap, A GUN! I'm sorry for trying to kill you please don't shoot, I'm too young and smart to d.....