Evil Scheme To Take Over The World
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Contents |
Plans for world domination
1)Re-elect George Bush.
2)Take over all telecommunication technology.
3)Sign that little contract with that guy called "Gunner pe". You've been meaning to do it, after all, and it doesn't require all that much blood to sign your name at the bottom of a suspiciously old, creepy-looking piece of paper.
IOOWESTTOTWs
Individuals or organisations with evil schemes to take over the world are called IOOWESTTOTWs (short for- Individuals Or Organisations With Evil Schemes To Take Over The World).
The Greatest IOOWESTTOTWs so far are
- Monkeys
- Cats
- Wal-Mart
- Pinky and the Brain
- Adam Sandler
- Uncyclopedia
- Oprah Winfrey
- The Yankees
- AMSWWBUW
- The UN
- Cobra
- Ferrets
- Monkeys
- Penguins
- Dr. Nefarious
- Stewie Griffin
- Invader Zim
- ClayPigeonSite
- Siffler
- Chairman Drek
- The British Library
- The other library in Britain
- A third library in Britain
- Certainly not the Scientologists!
- DNALRREKCUS
- Monkeys
- That Guy With the Glasses
- Bill Nye
- People
- You
- KKK
- Whales
- And did I mention *Monkeys?
Monkeys
Introduction
Despite repeated complaints and warnings from concerned citizens, the governments of the world have refused to look into or even acknowledge the ever-growing threat of world-domination.
The Signs
Interestingly enough, there have been reports for researchers the world over about the increased use of tools by the monkey population. The bonobo monkeys in eastern Congo have reportedly been seen using primitive PSP's fashioned out of twigs and leaves. Their version of Tekken is not very high on graphics, though.
The monkey society has also evolved to a large extent with definite signs of caste-creed hierarchy, though it seems to be a matriarchal society, as can be elucidated on observing their leader, Tipper Gore.
Monkeys play also a central role in the AMSWWBUW, but that's a different story.
Cats
Yup, it’s true. Cats are alien reptiloids in fuzzy atmosphere suits that came here to take over the world. Understandably, they don’t get along very well with the monkeys.
The Signs
The meticulously researched 2001 documentary Cats & Dogs, documented the initial days of the Second Banana War. Film- maker Lawrence Guterman lost 17 members of his crew to feline fury.
For some reason, people think it a kiddie movie.
and;
The Conclusion
They're evil. EVIL I tell you!
Wal-Mart
Wal-mart is the evil chain of child sweatshops and underground missile silos, commanded by Lord Emperor George Clinton.
The Sweatshops
Back in the mid-80's, Wal-Mart secretly purchased the National Education Association from President Walt Disney, kicking off Lord Clinton's plans to rule the world. Think your kids go to school every morning on those yellow buses? Think again, folks.
Your Children
Your children travel through Stargate 745-D every morning from the Wal-Mart compound in Area 51 to the 11th circle of Hell (a.k.a. The Lair of Commercial Exploiting, White-Collar crimes, and the all-too-common Nun-Bunting). There, they begin the days biddings; scabbing potential unions, rollbacks, and missile-building (for the silos).
The Missile Silos
Located deep underground every Wal-Mart is a giant missile silo, stocked with enough nuclear power to destroy the moon. Unfortunately for Lord Emperor George Clinton, this is where the missiles will be sent on Doomsday.
Adam Sandler
Adam Sandler has been trying to take over the world ever since he found the Jade dragon statue of doom. It is believed that he has joined forces with Betty White. Betty White was last seen in a Volcano fighting Robert Deniro; be on alert for Betty White and Adam Sandler. The first place he was seen was in London, which is now leveled.
Oprah Winfrey
She tells you what to eat, wear, drink, and read. Her right hand man, Dr. Phil, tells you how to think. Mrs. Winfrey IS Big Brother.
The Future of the World
Is being planned and executed by the Bank.
