Evanescence

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Amy Lee insists she gets the same amount of publicity as her fellow band members.

Evanescence is a body of beliefs and related practices regarding vagueness, its essential message is most often described as "being vague, becoming vague and fading into vagueness." The major organization promoting this code of conduct is officially named Evanescence, though to most people, it is better known as Amy Lee's band or simply Amy [Lynn] Lee (and a few people in the background), other variations have appeared since the beloved leader of the organization married some generally unknown person with the surname "Hartzler".

The organization was founded in Holy Rock, Arkansas in 1995 by Ben Moody. Its primary purpose is to aid humanity in forcefully evolving God and the whole reality, by a process called "reality shifting" or just "shifting". However, in order to realize such a "reality shift", all humans have to erase all mental blocks from their reactive mind, achieving the state of "Vague" and reaching the level of "Evanescence fan". Of course, there is a possible place before "Evanescence fan" & after "Vague". This is called "Within Temptation fan". After her take-over of the operation, the robot form of Amy Lee decided using subliminal music would the best method for spreading her message.

The two most important albums of the band are The Fallen Slut and The Open Whore, both named after the leader of the organization.

Contents

[edit] The Band

The idea of the band as a cover story was devised by Ben Moody, who has now left the organisation having accepted that God will never evolve (the other members continued to research). The only member of the band who isn't part of the secret research organization is the singer, Amy Lee, she is also the only one that is a relative of God. Lee was, in fact, kidnapped by the organization when it became apparent that none of the members could sing. The organization took recordings of Lee's voice and fed them into a sound synthesizing computer program. Her DNA was also analyzed and a robot, identical to her, was created. It is not actually Amy Lee that appears in public, but this robot. Amy herself has gone on a very long holiday, and she doesn't expect she shall return. In fact, she means not to. Many believe that Evanescence have either killed her or have imprisoned her in some way, however some people have reported seeing her working at the Starbucks in Times Square, New York. Other sources place her as either the new singer of heavy metal band Nightfish, or their Ex-Singer Tarja Tournun.

Unfortunately, the Amy Lee robot (termed LeeBot) has since turned on its creators (don't they all...), forcing all the members to abandon the project and focus on making worse music than before. Bassist Bill Woyd has not been seen since, though there have been rumors of a replacement they picked from the ghetto, Tizzle. This LeeBot was programmed to be unbelievably self-obssessed, so she has forced "the brains of the outfit" John LeCompt to create several clones of herself at gunpoint. She has used these clones to create all sorts of layered voice effects in the "band"'s second album, "The Open Door". Lead single "Call Me When You're a Robot" supposedly uses Lee's sisters as backing singers, but these are in fact just the first clones, made by Amy's parents (at gunpoint, of course) when she was seven.

The Amy Lee robots have recently taken over all remaining parts of the band, replacing them with versions of herself. For instance, screeching guitars have now been replaced with screeching Amy, and drums have been replaced with Amy beatboxing. Yes, it's THAT bad. This new sound will be heard in the third album "I Am So Great", which will be released after the compulsory five years of "perfecting". The album has 347 tracks, each of which took five minutes to write. They all sound pretty much the same..

[edit] The Music

Evanescence, in the beginning, periodically released mediocre songs so as not to blow their cover story. All of the songs sound the same, partially due to the program that renders Amy Lee's voice, partly because the organization isn't very creative but primarily because the group's reports are coded into the music, allowing the data to be decoded by the international members of the organizations. Practicing the lifestyle of a Evanescence fan should probably include cutting yourself, practicing witchcraft and casting spells, drinking blood, and deluding yourself into thinking that vampires actually do exist, and that you are, in fact, one of those noble creatures... not because of the goth image of the band, but rather because their music is an affront to God(zilla) and so could not be the work of a normal person. And besides, you're going to have to replace that blood SOMEHOW, right?

There was trouble in 1736, when the band had an unexpected hit with the song "Bring us to death". Fortunately, nobody who listened to the song bothered to investigate the "band" and their secret was not revealed.

In a recent interview, Amy Lee said that where first album "Fallen" was "a cry for help", second effort "The Open Door" is "a cry for attention". This is shown best in the track "I Lose Control", in which Lee plays on the strengths of previous track "Imagine Me" in a desperate attempt to hide the fact that the song is, well, crap. Yet the most famous song such as "Call me When You're Sober" speak for her own self-indulgence , self-reliant , self-destruct , self-actualization , self-civilization , selfishness, self-sucking, etc.

Third album "I Am So Great" is Lee's childish tantrum after "The Open Door" was exposed for the generic self-obsessed trash it was. First single "Look At Me! Look At Me!" seems to be hundreds of Leebots (as they have become known) spouting gibberish. In fact, playing it backwards reveals the words "I can do everything; I must be God" repeated over and over. Lee has since been arrested for including subliminal messages in music. Or at least, one of her has.

Check out this earlier subliminal message from the band: Snow White Queen Reversed Message. Unlike their later work, this message did not send people on psychopathic killing sprees while wearing Amy Lee masks (later, face transplants were made available).

[edit] How Fans View Evanescence

Evanescence fans, as a rule, take everything that has to do with the band so seriously that global warming and starving children are but mere shadows in their consciousness. Humor is but a memory for the average fan; humor relating to Evanescence does not exist at all. To make any jokes about this group is to incur the wrath of thousands of wild-eyed, blood-covered demons - as well as the formidable LeeBot Army, a fearsome creation by the LeeBot that is being trained for world domination. Hot Topic seems to be the most reliable source for the sheep to gather the goodies from to take part in this domination.

[edit] Christian controversy and Satan worshiping

The band has said numerous times that they are not Christian. The band actually worships Satan, but oddly, they still sing about God in some songs. It is speculated that the God that they sing about is actually Satan, but then again when they sing about Satan in some songs (example: Sweet Satan), it would mean that that Satan is actually Christian God, so nobody really knows what they are up to (it is popular believe that neither do Evanescence members know that). What is especially strange that Ben Moody once said: "GOD IS LOVE AND LOVE IS GOD!!! WE ARE ALL GOD!!! GOD IS ALL THAT EXISTS AND IT IS ONLY GOD THAT WE KNOW!!! GOD!!! GOD!!! GOD!!!". Shortly after that, keyboardist David Hodges left the band because of embarrassment. In 2003. Ben Moody was eliminated by one of the LeeBot assassins and replaced with a clone that had 10% of Moody's talent for songwriting (which equals zero - let's face it, his natural talent is pretty questionable) and played guitar even worse (if that's possible). The clone later worked on some songs with pop stars Liz Vicious and few others to later adapt his believes and find his fame in a new self worshiping cult We Are So Amazing...

[edit] See Also

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