Euronymous

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Aarseth3

Euronymous after he cut his own nose off in a Satanic ritual.

Euronymous - real name Øystein Aarseth - rose to fame as the guy who took his ex-singer's brain pieces and skull fragments and made a stew and necklaces out of the fragments. As guitarist in the popular Norwegian black metal band Mayhem, claimed by many to be 'the true dark lords of black metal,' he was involved in the release of several albums such as 'Pure Fucking Armageddon', 'Deathcrush', and 'De mysteriis dom Sathanas'. Unfortunately, his career with the band was cut short when he was inconveniently murdered by Varg Vikernes, also known as Count Grishnackh, Greven or simply Burzum.

edit Musical influences

Aarseth was greatly influenced by, amongst other guitarists, David Hasslehoff and Robert Johnson; the former artist's cross-over gypsy-jazz sound is particularly obvious in his work. He is also known to have greatly enjoyed big band jazz, which led to his solo album 'Black Be-bop and Booging Niggaz,' released in 1986.

edit Necrospace

Euronymous was a regular user of Necrospace, a sort of 'black Myspace' where lonely black metal artists and fans could chat and swap information about their favourite type of music. It was here that he and Varg first met after Varg uploaded some of his music to the site. Euronymous believed Varg to be much older than he actually was, or at least so he claimed in his defence after being charged with 'on-line grooming of a minor.' Friction between the two was evident even at this early stage - during a heated row on the site's chatroom, Euronymous accused Varg of only having three people on his 'friends list'. Varg then claimed that although Euronymous had a hundred friends on Necrospace, he had no real friends. The flame war continued for some weeks, until both were temporarily banned by Necrospace admin. During their bans, the pair continued to converse on MSN Messenger and discovered a shared interest in making models out of matchsticks.

edit McDonalds

Matchstickwindmill

Euronymous' matchstick model of a windmill, built when he was 14.

Euronymous and Varg met on a Saturday afternoon in McDonalds. Euronymous ordered a Big Mac with fries and a strawberry milkshake, whereas Varg opted for chicken nuggets and the same flavour milkshake as his friend. However, when they got to their table, the two chums were horrified to discover that the member of staff who had taken their order had been so busy laughing at their make-up he had got the order wrong: Euronymous' was fine, but Varg had also been given chocolate milkshake instead. "I don't want this nigger milkshake!" Varg complained, "it's going to rob me!" Euronymous was upset for his new friend and worried that he might be about to cry. In a beautiful display of altruistic selflessness, he swapped the milkshakes over, allowing Varg to drink his - even though he hated chocolate milkshake too. After the meal, the two went to the cinema where they watched "Ernest Saves Christmas". Before long, they had become best friends and were inseparable. They even worked on a matchstick model together, a scale representation of a traditional Norwegian-style stave church, which they built in Euronymous' bedroom at his parent's house. Euronymous' mother was a liberal, forward-thinking parent who believed that young people should be introduced to alcohol in the home environment so that they would learn from an early age to consume it responsibly, and so Euronymous and Varg were allowed to have two cans of Heineken lager each. Although not drunk, after drinking his cans Euronymous was sufficiently tipsy to think it might be fun to set light to the matchstick church. Varg was not so keen because he had, earlier in the evening, declared it to be the 'bestest model I've ever made.' However, as Euronymous was older, Varg would go along with anything his friend suggested. The church was taken into the garden and burnt.

edit More fallings-out

The following day, Varg noticed people giving him funny looks. Once or twice, as he passed by people he knew in the street, he was certain that he heard them hiss the word 'thief' under their breath. This puzzled him, and he went to see Euronymous to try to find out what was going on. However, Euronymous' mum told him that her son was not at home. Feeling lonely, Varg decided to go home and watch cartoons on TV. But as he walked away from Euronymous' house, he turned back and saw the curtains of his friend's bedroom twitch. Euronymous had been in all along, and was just avoiding him.

That evening, Varg signed on to Necrospace, and found Euronymous on the chatroom. At first, Euronymous wouldn't tell him what was going on, but eventually it all came out. After Varg had left on the night they burnt the church, Euronymous had discovered that some of his Pokemons were missing. Not just any Pokemons either - his favourite ones. Varg tried in vain to convince him that he hadn't taken them, and anyway, he already had those ones, so why would he steal them? But it was no good. Euronymous had made up his mind that Varg was a thief, and he had convinced everyone else on Necrospace that this was the case. Varg signed out of the chat and cried himself to sleep.

Euronmp

After they'd been together for two years, Euronymous allowed his girlfriend to see him without his make-up on.

The next day, the flamewar started up again. Never one to take an insult lightly, Varg told people on the site that, when he had been at Euronymous' house, he had seen a gay pornographic magazine hidden in the wardrobe. Euronymous then countered by saying that Varg pissed his pants every day at school. Varg went on by stating that Euronymous had a collection of Care Bears - someone else on the chatroom, standing up for Euronymous, said that maybe they actually belonged to his sister. Varg pointed out that Euronymous did not have a sister.

Verbal insults were not enough - soon the argument became all-out war. Euronymous placed a paper bag full of shit on Varg's doorstep and set it on fire before ringing the doorbell and running away. Varg wrote "Euronymous sucks cock for 1 kroner" on the wall in the local shopping mall. Euronymous crept out one night and toilet-papered the tree in Varg's front garden.

The next time the two met, it got physical. They fought, and although Varg was younger, he fought hard, giving Euronymous a black eye. However, in the end it was the older boy who was victorious, pinning Varg to the ground he then used a black marker to write "I am gay" on his head. His friends and he then made Varg walk around the mall for the rest of the afternoon without letting him go to the toilet to wash it off. When they forced him to walk past a girl Varg really liked, he swore that he would extract bloody revenge.

edit Death

That night, Varg got his friend Snorre Ruch (silly names appear to be a recurring meme in black metal) to drive him round to Euronymous' house. When he got there, he stabbed Euronymous twice in the head, five times in the neck, and sixteen times in the back.

Varg was soon arrested after he bragged of the murder on Necrospace. However, he was given a lenient sentence by a judge who realised that this was just another example of a young man who had got carried away after playing too many violent Playstation games and Dungeons and Dragons. The case was summed up perfectly by Euronymous' mother when she made the statement in the press that 'boys will be boys. We were all young and crazy once, ya' dig?"

edit See Also

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