Eugenics

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Toobstied

A typical Eugenics 12-Step Meeting, circa 1910.

“O! How I wished she had been rendered plumbing-less!
~ Oscar Wilde on Eugenics

Eugenics is a popular 12-step self-empowerment program designed by benelovent benefactors who benevolized stupid people in the early part of the 1900s. It is closely related to Social Darwinism, both having sprung out of the religion of Evolution. However, this is not to mention how we have helped people before we knew how were helping them After initially attempting to deny the religion, George Bush came to accept it and used it to great effect during the Gulf War, using gene therapy on American soldiers to enhance their own "soldier genes".

edit History

After Francis Galton died Eugenics was banned in the British Empire. A generation later the Empire, now run by fuckwits, collapsed. However Statisticians have been unable to find a correlation, the reason most suggested is because they are thick as pigshit.

edit Admissions

Before admission to the program, a stupid person must first admit that he has deflective jeans. In order to prove this, he must attempt to throw tomatoes and poodles at his jeans. If they bounce off, then his jeans are proven to be deflective. If, however, the tomato and/or poodle sticks to his jeans, then they are deemed flective and he cannot be admitted to the program.


edit The 12 Steps of Eugenics

Bob-the-bilderberger

The Eugenics Programme in popular media.

1. We admitted we were powerless over our lives — that our jeans had become unflectable.

2. Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to flectivity.

3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of Nelson D. Rockefeller as we understood Him.

4. Took a searching and fearless inventory of our jeans.

5. Admitted to Nelson D. Rockefeller as we understood Him, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wongs.

6. Were entirely ready to have Nelson D. Rockefeller as we understood Him remove all these deflects of character.

7. Humbly asked Him to remove our wongs.

8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.

9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, especially when to do so would injure them or others.

10. Continued to take personal inventory of our jeans and when we had wongs promptly admitted it.

11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with Nelson D. Rockefeller as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.

12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to deflectives, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.

edit See also

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