Estonian politics
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Estonia is an eternal battleground between good and evil, this war is called Estonian Politics.
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[edit] The Alliance Of Light
The Alliance Of Light consists of Andrus and Mart.
[edit] Andrus the Unzip
Being the only athletic (by Estonian standards, that means "not fat") politician in Estonia, he is promoting Aryan ideals. Recently, he has had strange thoughts about moving a Soviet burial monument into a graveyard, which is clearly the logic of a nazionalist mind. He carried it out too, causing massive riots that reached even the farest places in the Universe, but his loyal police officers (read Army of Unzip) beated the living sheath ( u know what i mean) out of the russian fanatics. When digging out the remains of the Soviet soldiers he found Jimmy Hoffas body. Because Estonia was occupied by soviet Union from 1945 to 1991 he tries to eliminate all russians for it by arresting them for vandalism, crossing the road from the wrong place or impersonating the Bush Administration. He is a nice fellow though :).
[edit] Mart the Liquidator of Liquidity
The economic guru of our humble Estonia. His most important reforms include flat tax, elimination of mafia and the liquidation of liquidity. He has been nick-named "Teddy-baby" for his massive strength. Always seemingly smiling, Mart is actually hatching evil plans on bankrupting Russia, Vanuatu and pretty much every other country except Estonia, as then Estonia will be the single greatest country in the world. Too bad some of our neighbors would then become jealous and eliminate Estonia. But his economic theories don't cover that, so it's irrelevant. He also gives interesting economical advice to Georgia, which have largely contributed to it's current stable state.
[edit] The Alliance Of Darkness
The Alliance Of Darkness consists of Edgar and Villu.
[edit] Edgar the Kohuke
The evil mastermind of Estonia. Associated with occult involving dealings with the demons of the east, and the illegal ownership of some dairy products. He is trying to push Estonia onto a more common-people-friendly path. Everybody hates him. Nobody seems to know anyone who claims to like him as a politician, but SOMEHOW, he manages to come off as one of the leading parties on any electoral campaign. The most obvious answer to this is, naturally, magic. Members of Edgar's Cult are granted eternal afterlife and expensive apartments in central town.
[edit] Villu the Farmer
While other politicians have always tried to seem serious and decisive, Villu has always been jolly farmer who promotes the rights of pigs and cows. His voters are, naturally, other farmers. Nobody has yet understood what exactly is he doing in the parliament in the first place. His favorite past time is going on a trip to Africa and shoot the wild endangered species there. Not quite up to the level of political skill of other politicians, he is easily dominated by the evil Edgar in every decision not regarding Estonian agriculture. The most common theory for his participation in elections is simply giving farmers' votes to Edgar. Why? It is rumored that Edgar gives him free meals to keep him happy. Which also explains his bodyweight. Recently he resigned from his party leader position, because his bodyweight beated his height in numbers.
