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“Probably my life-size autographed replica of Ron Jeremys penis. I got it at PornoCon 03. I bet you didnt know they make those things are grape-flavoured. Well now you do.”
“FUCK ME HARDER DADDY! HARDER! HARDER! OH YES!”
“Just because I dress up in plush costumes doesnt make me a furry. Im just too ashamed of gay sex to do it without wearing a disguise”
“I used to drive sharp things through my own penis just to see what it felt like. It was delightful, but then I ran out of iodine. I kept going, and that was a bad idea. The infections caused the left side of my dick to atrophy. Now it isnt straight anymore”
“I HATE NIGGER DYKE PUSSY!”
“FUCK ME HARDER DADDY! HARDER! HARDER! OH YES!”
“I SAY, BOY! KNEEL BEFORE ME AND OPE THY MOUTH!”
“Its ironic that I spend so much time at the ballpark because my buttholes nickname in high school was "Ballpark". I never knew whether it was because it was big enough to hold thousands of people, or because people liked to "park" their balls in it”
“I personally constructed an arcade of thrusting and rotating dildo machines from old kitchen mixers and hammer drill motors. Normal vibrators simply cannot quench my anus's insatiable desire for powerful tool”
Republic of Eritrea
|Motto: "For your security and the children."|
|Anthem: "For your security and the children"|
|National Hero(es)||Isaias Afewerki for his struggle for democracy, security and the children|
|In 1991 from Ethiopia|
|Major exports||Malaria , HIV, AIDS , Economic refugees, Religious Refugees, Political Refugees poverty, requests for Foreign aid|
|Major imports||Foreign aid|
Eritrea , officially the Republic of Eritrea, is a country in the Horn of a goat. its capital is assmara, it is bordered by Sudan in the west, Ethiopia in the south, and Djibouti in the southeast. Its border with Ethiopia is locked because otherwise 2 million ethiopians would breach the border each month, which would cause the eritrea quality of life to decline to below that of Bill Gates. Eritrea is a multi-ethnic country, with nine recognized ethnic groups. It has a population of around happy inhabitants. Jislam is the most common Religion.
Government and politics
Eritrea is a Democracy. Its current Democratically Elected President is Isaias Afwerki of the People's Front for Security and the Children (PFSC), Who holds a majority in the Senate. His motto is "For your security and the children". he Campaigns mainly for an increase in the spending of the army and increase of the budget of militairy schools. Eritrea is rated by freedom house as a free country with the score of "1" in political liberties and a "1" in civil liberties, with 1 being the highest score and 7 the lowest. His Government is divided into multiple ministries.
Ministry of Truth
See main article : Ministry of Truth
The Ministry of Truth is currently headed by Isaias Afewerki of the PFSC. His policies mainly consist of removing anti-government Biases in media. giving a balanced view of how good life is in Eritrea. Rewriting articles with obvious faults, Human right and Press Freedom. it announced today that the avarage income has increased to 1,430,000$. (the median declined to 200$).
Ministry of Security
See main Article : Ministry of Security
The Ministry of Security is currently headed by Isaias Afewerki of the PFSC. The Ministry heads the army, the police, the secret police, the assassins, the rebels, the revolutionaires, the thiefs, the druglords and the jaywalkers.
Ministry of Trade
See main article : Ministry of Trade
The Ministry of Trade is currently headed by Isaias Afewerki of the PFSC. The Ministry makes sure that Eritrea's main exports (drugs and food aid requests, mostly the drugs) gets exported. in additional, it has put up some barriers against exporting essential commodities (refugees)
Ministry of Plenty
see main article : Ministry of Plenty
The Ministry of Plenty is currently headed by Isaias Afewerki of the PFSC. it invests in big public projects like the presidential air plane, the presidential palace, the presidential backgarden, the presidential gardens, the presidential theme parks, the presidential city (assmara), the presidential cars (all 1800) and the presidential moon.
Ministry of Diplomacy
see main article : Ministry of Diplomacy
The Ministry of Diplomacy is currently headed by Isaias Afewerki of the PFSC. The diplomatic Ministry is used to get Diplomatic immunity to aid getting trade out and keeping money in. using diplomatic airplanes, diplomates fly the trade to poorer nations and comes back with foreign aid.
Eritrea's Human Rights are flawless and need no further explanation. there are no Massacres of civilian, no Slavery except during conscription, which lasts 40 years. all people get pension on the avarage age (130 years, allah is seen as a citizen and his age counts to, the median life expectancy is 4 years). No child labor is used except of conscripted childs, child are never conscripted before the age of 18 (months). All press is free to report whatever it want, as long as they don't lie, the Ministry of Truth knows when they lie, so that's no problem. The Death penalty has been abolished except for the worst crimes, like Murder, arson, jaywalking, being happy, being sad or thoughtcrimes
the eritrean economy is flawless because it is guided by Isaias Afewerki. Its agricultural output rose 25% to 5kg in a year time, its industrial output increased by infinite percent to 0,01 grams of steel. its service economy is projected to raise by three infinite percents by 1984. Telescreens will be installed within 55 years so that everyone will have a free telescreen. The economy declined three years ago because of a sudden influx of ethiopian migrants. but our protector Isaias Afewerki protected us from them.
update from 1984
Main article : Eritrean economy in 1984
The service economy grew more then expected, 280.000 are now employed in selling services/love