English Class
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English Class is the lowest level of hell. It was originally designed by Zeus as a punishment for the living who had great sinned and wished to repent. A misinterpretation of ancient Greek scrolls led to the English class we know today. While the class is exactly the same, its purpose was skewed. Apparently some translator somewhere messed and translated Hell as education.
[edit] Modern English Class
In English class students are forced to read books that will educate them about life but are actually full of shit and mean nothing. Unfortunately the books are so sophisticated they are impossible to understand, like gay ass shakespeare. The reason why these books are so complicated to understand? Because people like shakespeare were high while writing them. To add to the torture of English class there are the teachers who are programmed robots designed to have no emotion and to speak in Swihelian. Swihelians are known to be able to take an immense amount of pain and boredom, probably because of the fact that they were able to understand what was being said in English class. It is unnecessary to say that Swihelians have the most dismal existence on the planet.
The modern English class is trying to teach victims better grammar. George Bush is an advocate of teaching every student grammar so they will be able to communicate better. Most people now in the insane alylum confess to having exposure to grammar during their childhood days. Grammar is often considered to be the worst part of English class. Grammar is so complicated it takes 5 full time government representatives to keep track of it. Although that may not sound like much they have the use of powerful machines called pencils.
[edit] Ways to avoid English class
- Pour napalm on the roof of the school
- Have diarrhea in English class and escape to relative safety of the nurse's office
- Talk over your english teacher in order to save yourself from insanity
- If you speak Swahili you have no hope so you might as well save yourself a lot of pain and *end it now.
- Skip Class
- Bring a boom box to class
- Start a fight
- Pour water on your teacher to make it short circuit
- Streak around the classroom
- Play Starcraft
- Huff Kittens (this action is not approved by the Surgeon General)
