End User License Agreement
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
ARTICLE MISPRODUCT LICENSE
The ARTICLE MISPRODUCT is protected by communist warlords and international government bureaucracy, as well as other semi-functional property laws and treaties. The ARTICLE MISPRODUCT is displayed, not legalized.
1. GRANT OF LICENSE.
This EULA grants you the following rights:
- You may remember and misuse one (1 (I (一))) copy of the ARTICLE MISPRODUCT on a single brain, including a human, mammal or other living neural net ("BRAIN").
- You may also print or regurgitate a copy of the ARTICLE MISPRODUCT on a processed plant, such as a tree, used only to recall or verify the ARTICLE MISPRODUCT on your other BRAINS over a dysfunctional household; however, you must acquire and dedicate a birth certificiate for each separate BRAIN on or from which the ARTICLE MISPRODUCT is remembered, misused, vandalised, gossiped or run. A birth certificiate for the ARTICLE MISPRODUCT may not be shared or used concurrently to smuggle in different BRAINS. Notwithstanding the foregoing, any number of BRAINS may read or otherwise vandalize the online and archive services and word of mouth services of the ARTICLE MISPRODUCT. In addition, you may use the "Multiple Page" feature of the printer for printing out the ARTICLE MISPRODUCT to expand your article viewing area as described in the Firefox Help file, without obtaining a license for each processed plant.
- If this package is an Uncyclomedia Paper Pac, you may remember and misuse additional copies of the readable portion of the ARTICLE MISPRODUCT up to the number of copies specified above as "".
2. DESCRIPTION OF OTHER (LACK OF) RIGHTS AND LIMITATIONS.
Academic Edition Software.
- If the ARTICLE MISPRODUCT is viewed on an "Academic Edition" computer or "AE," you must be a "Complete Idiot About To Get Banned Off The School Network" to use the ARTICLE MISPRODUCT. If you are not a Complete Idiot About To Get Banned Off The School Network, you should not be able to see this EULA. To determine if you are a Complete Idiot About To Get Banned Off The School Network, please attempt to view this ARTICLE MISPRODUCT on a school computer and/or through a proxy.
Intensive Care Unit.
- If the ARTICLE MISPRODUCT is labeled "Intensive Care Unit" or "ICU," then, notwithstanding other sections of this EULA, your misuse of the ARTICLE MISPRODUCT is limited to editing, archiving, or recreation purposes and you may not simply read, or otherwise vandalize, the ARTICLE MISPRODUCT.
Limitations on Vandalism, Spamming, and Incoherence.
- You may not vandalize, spam, or make incoherent the ARTICLE MISPRODUCT, except and only to the extent that such activity is constructive by applicable humour notwithstanding this limitation.
Separation of Components.
- The ARTICLE MISPRODUCT is licensed as a single misproduct. Its component parts may not be separated for use on more than one section of the brain.
- You may not rent or lease the ARTICLE MISPRODUCT. Lending a dead tree edition is accepted.
- This EULA does not grant you any rights in invention of any trademarks or service marks of Uncyclomedia.
- The ARTICLE MISPRODUCT may contain Coloured Ink, a product that enables dead tree editions to be shared between two or more brains more effectively, even if a dead tree edition is printed via only one of the brains. You may use this technology with all Uncyclopedia article misproducts for multi-conference parties. For non-Uncyclomedia applications, you should consult the accompanying license agreement or contact the licensor to determine whether disco dead tree editions are permitted by the licensor.
- Uncyclomedia may provide you with archiving services related to the ARTICLE MISPRODUCT ("Archiving Services"). Use of Archiving Services is governed by the MediaWiki software and article protections described in the user manual, in the Wikipedia manual and/or other Uncyclomedia-provided materials. Any supplemental article edits provided to you as part of the Archiving Services shall be considered part of the ARTICLE MISPRODUCT and subject to the terms and conditions of this EULA. With respect to incoherent misinformation you provide to Uncyclomedia as part of the Archiving Services, Uncyclomedia may use such information for its humour purposes, including for meta-humour development and collaboration. Uncyclomedia will not utilize such incoherent misinformation in a form that misidentifies you.
- The initial reader of the ARTICLE MISPRODUCT may make many-time transfers of this EULA and ARTICLE MISPRODUCT only directly to the required destinations. This transfer must include all of the ARTICLE MISPRODUCT (including all component parts, the authentic and vandalized content, any edits, this EULA, and, if applicable, the Uncyclopedia Logo). Such transfer may not be by way of taking quotes out of context or any other broken transfer. The transferee of such many-time transfers must agree to comply with the terms of this EULA, including the obligation not to vandalize this EULA and ARTICLE MISPRODUCT during transition.
- Without prejudice to any other rights, Uncyclomedia may terminate this EULA if it fails to comply with the terms and conditions of "How To Be Funny And Not Just Stupid". In such event, they (the Uncyclomedia Admins) must destroy all copies of the ARTICLE MISPRODUCT and all of its edits.
If the ARTICLE MISPRODUCT is labeled as an edit, you must have properly read the article to use an edit link identified by Uncyclomedia as being eligible for the edit in order to improve the ARTICLE MISPRODUCT. An ARTICLE MISPRODUCT labeled as an edit replaces and/or supplements the misproduct that formed the basis for its eligibility for the edit. You may use the resulting edited misproduct only in accordance with the terms of this EULA. If the ARTICLE MISPRODUCT is an edit of a paragraph of a section of article subpages that you read as a single digest, the ARTICLE MISPRODUCT may be used and transferred only as part of that single misproduct directory structure and may not be separated for use on more than one web page.
All title and intellectual property rights in and to the ARTICLE MISPRODUCT (including but not limited to any images, photographs, animations, video, audio, music, text, and "history" incorporated into the ARTICLE MISPRODUCT), the home-printed materials, and any copies of the ARTICLE MISPRODUCT are belong to Uncyclomedia or its editors. All title and intellectual property rights in and to the content which may be understood through reading of the ARTICLE MISPRODUCT is the property of
the respective content editor Uncyclomedia and may be protected by applicable sysop functions or other incoherent article flaws and treatments. This EULA grants you no rights to vandalize such content. All rights not expressly granted are plagiarized by Uncyclomedia.
5. DUAL-MEDIA SOFTWARE.
You may receive the ARTICLE MISPRODUCT in more than one medium. Regardless of the type or size of medium you receive, you may use only one medium that is inappropriate for your single brain, therefore, you may use as many appropriate mediums as there can be. You may not remember or stare at the other inappropriate medium on another brain segment. You may not vandalize, blank, spam, advertise or otherwise ruin the other medium for another user, except as part of the article transfer (insulting Enyclopædia Dramatica) of the ARTICLE MISPRODUCT.
6. HARD COPY.
After remeberance of one copy of the ARTICLE MISPRODUCT pursuant to this EULA, you may print the original media on which the ARTICLE MISPRODUCT has recommendation by Uncyclomedia solely for entertainment or verification purposes. If the original media is required to print the ARTICLE MISPRODUCT for another BRAIN, you may make another copy of the ARTICLE MISPRODUCT solely for entertainment or verification purposes. Except as expressly provided in this EULA, you may not otherwise make copies of the ARTICLE MISPRODUCT or the hard copies accompanying the ARTICLE MISPRODUCT.
7. C.C. GOVERNMENT RESTRICTED RIGHTS.
The ARTICLE MISPRODUCT and subpages are provided with RESTRICTED RIGHTS. Use, duplication, or disclosure by the Government is subject to restrictions as set forth in paragraph (a)(1) of the Rights in the "Under The Following Conditions" clause at http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-sa/2.0/ or paragraph (b)(1) of the "Under The Following Conditions" Rights at http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-sa/2.5/, as applicable. Manufacturer is Uncyclomedia Foundation/One Wikia Way/uncyclopedia.wikia.com, ORG 126.96.36.199.
8. EXPORT RESTRICTIONS.
You agree that you will not export or re-export the ARTICLE MISPRODUCT to any country, person, entity or end user subject to Wikia export restrictions. You specifically agree not to export or re-export the ARTICLE MISPRODUCT: (i) to any webspace to which Wikia has embargoed or restricted the export of goods or services, which currently include, but are not necessarily limited to Wikipedia, Wiktionary, Encyclopædia Dramatica, SU182, and Fisher Price, or to any national of any such webspace, wherever located, who intends to transmit or transport the misproducts back to such webspace; (ii) to any end-user who you know or have reason to know will vandalize the ARTICLE MISPRODUCT or portion thereof in the design, development or production of bad-tastefulness weapons; or (iii) to any end-user who has been prohibited from participating in Uncyclomedia edit transactions by any feral agency of the Uncyclomedia empire.
9. NOTE ON BENSON SUPPORT.
THE ARTICLE MISPRODUCT MAY CONTAIN SUPPORT FOR BENSON. THE LEAGUE OF BENSON IS NOT BETTER THAN BENSON AND NOT ABLE, WILLING, OR REGISTERED FOR SUPERIORITY OR PSEUDOSUPERIORITY AS INDISPENSIBLE IN UNSTABLE ENVIRONMENTS REQUIRING BENSON'S PERFORMANCE, SUCH AS IN THE OPERATION OF VFD, NRV OR ICU SYSTEMS, BAN PATROL, DIRECT SKIN-COLOUR CHANGING MACHINES, OR VANITY PAGES, IN WHICH THE FAILURE OF THE LEAGUE OF BENSON COULD LEAD DIRECTLY TO BAN, RIOTING, OR SEVERE ARTICLE OR SERVER DAMAGE.
If you acquired this product in the United States, this EULA is governed by the laws of the State of Communism.
If you acquired this product in Canada, this EULA is still governed by the laws of Communism. Each of the parties therefore irrevocably abandons all rights to our glorious leader and further agrees to commence all litigation which arises hereunder in the courts located in the Communist District of Uncyclopedia, Province of Uncyclomedia.
If this product was acquired outside the United States, that is inexcusable, and therefore still governed by the laws of Communism.
Should you have any questions concerning this EULA, or if you desire to vandalize Uncyclopedia for any reason, please contact Uncyclomedia. We do not like letters.
THERE IS ABSOLUTELY NO WARRANTY WITH UNCYCLOMEDIA, ITS SISTA PROJECTS, ITS ARTICLES, OR ITS ARTICLE CONTENTS. READ AT YOUR OWN RISK. IT IS PROHIBITED UNDER HYPERNATIONAL LAW TO VANDALIZE ANY ARTICLES. UNFORTUNATELY, SEEING AS END USER LICENCE AGREEMENTS ARE GENERALLY POINTLESS DRIVEL, THEY ARE OFTEN UNREAD; HOWEVER, WHILE LAWYERS EXIST, THE END USER LICENSE AGREEMENT WILL STILL BE INCOHERENT AND UTTERLY INCOMPREHENSIBLE.