Empire of the Four Squares
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|National Motto: "I get to be four square!"|
|Official language||Klingon and Pig Latin|
|Government||Empire (formerly Dictatorship)|
|King||King Billy the Great|
|Religion||Christian and Comcast|
|Parliament (The Squad of Governors)||George, Stalin, Mel Gibson, Gordon Freeman and Larry The Lobster|
|Established||Some time within the past -19 years|
|Exports||Dodgeballs and chalk|
|Independance||2001 (after South Africa decided to have another county within its own country)|
|National Anthem||"No Spiking"|
|National Holiday||Giant Moon Game Day (March 11)|
|Natural Resources||Chalk mines, rubber factories, oxygen caverns, limestone|
The Empire of the Four Squares is an empire located in the middle of South Africa. It consists of four provinces: One Square, Two Square, Three Square and Four Square. The symbol on the Coat of Arms and the flag represents the empire and each stage in the four square game: the yellow square, representing One Square and the one square of four square, symbolises a new light in the game. The green square of Two Square and the two square symbolises growing through the game like a plant. The blue square represents Three Square and the three square, and symbolises the sweat that the person in the three square has because of the focus needed to take out the person in four square. Finally, the red square represents the four square and Four Square, symbolizes the red ball that whoever's in four square is the master of.
The Empire of the Four Squares was founded when a group of white South Africans wanted a new game to play. They decided to make a game called "Black Jail," which was played on a 2 by 2 grid drawn on tar with chalk. The white kids playing would bounce a red dodgeball back and forth at each other, pretending that each square was a black person that the ball was hurting. When the black children found out, they were outraged and declared war.
edit The Greyscale War
The Greyscale War was the first war the empire faced. The empire hadn't been formed at the time of the war, but the empire was created because of what happened at the end of the war.
The black children and the white children fought eachother in the war for ten long days. The white children used jumpropes and dodgeballs as weapons, while the black children used their hands and feet as weapons, but got help from some local parrots. The war brought no casualties, but many injuries. All white participants of the war had at least a scraped knee, while very few black children had any injuries.
The black children ended up defeating the white children in the war. This caused them to take over the grid that they white children had made. The black children created new rules for the game that don't involve hurting two dimensional, square-shaped black people. They decided to create more and more of these so more people could play, all centered around the original one. This brought on the creation of the empire.
edit The Rise of Dictatorship
Following the creation of the empire, a government was made. The four provinces (One Square, Two Square, Three Square and Four Square) were all given purposes and had different kinds of people living in them (One was the ghetto, Two was for the middle class, Three was for the bourgeoisie and Four was for royalty). Each state also had a slang name: Four was Kings, Three was Queens, Two was Jacks and One was Pawns. The center of the empire, which connected all four states, was the original four square game grid. When someone thought they could defeat the Emperor, they would come and have a game with him and two others. If they won, they became the emperor. If they lost, they were sent to One's jail for five years. Eventually, everyone became so great at the game, the empire became even more of a dictatorship than it was before. Rulers of the empire began to hide so they wouldn't lose their title, but all who did this ended up just being assassinated.
edit The Reign of King Billy
One day, a skilled four square player known as Billy arrived in the empire. He requested a game with the emperor. The emperor accepted, and they had a game with two of the emperor's henchmen. Billy easily defeated all three of them. Billy, now the ruler of the empire, decided to change things for the better. He added a new group to the government: the Squad of Governors. There were four members of the squad, each the best four square player from each of the provinces. That person is also the governor of that province. The governors can accept challenges from civilians of their province when they want to. If the governor loses, that person becomes the new governor. If the governor wins, the challenger cannot challenge the governor again for another two years. Only the governors can challenge the king, and if they lose against the king, their governor position is given to somebody else and they can't try to become governor again for another five years. If they win, the governor will become the king and the king will become the governor of that province. So far, none of the governors have challenged the king, but many people have challenged the governors, but all lost.
edit Geography and Culture
The Empire of the Four Squares is primarily urban, though some parts are not.
edit One Square
One Square contains the least civilized and wealthy people. It is composed of many ghettos. The government buildings are near the border between One Square and Four Square for better security. Some parts of One Square are rural, but these areas usually stretch outside of the empire. Lots of towns are run by gangs.
edit Two Square
Two Square is more civilized and wealthy than the people in One Square. Two Square is full of urban neighborhoods, ponds and schools. The people who live in this province are considered middle class. There is a mountain at the border between the empire and the rest of South Africa that people to go on vacations or to ski on the grass.
edit Three Square
Three Square is considered the richest and most civilized commercial area in the empire. People who live there are thought of as snobs. Three Square is full of cities with skyscrapers and other large buildings. Most of the colleges in the empire are in this province. A large lake rests towards the center of the province.
edit Four Square
Four Square is full of mountains and government buildings. Only a few parts are open to live in if not associated with the government. The king's palace rests underground in a mountain.
Most people entertain themselves by playing four square, but TVs and computers are also available in the empire. Almost all that's shown on TV is professional four square tournaments and four square challenges that the Squad of Governors or the king are participating in. The websites of the empire all describe how to play four square, how to join tournaments, what happened in previous tournaments and videos of previous tournaments. Dodgeball video games are also sold in the empire, which are played on computers.
The government of the empire makes money from taxes and from selling their exports to other countries, primarily the United States of America and Antarctica. Taxes are put on chalk, dodgeballs and oxygen tanks. The currency of the empire, the You're It, are cubes of tar weighing one pound each. Gold, silver or platinum symbols on them show how much they're worth. You're Its are usually carried around in things called toilets, which are box-shaped wheelbarrows that are made to hold You're it.