Emo-Hitler
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“His brave actions were truly inspirational! I'd have never written A Woman Of No Importance without Emo-Hitler”
~ Oscar Wilde on Emo Hitler
“EmoHitler slit the other nations' wrists during WWII.”
~ Pauly Shore on probably drugs or Emo-Hitler
| Hitler in General |
| Persons named Hitler |
| Other Hitlers |
| Imitation Hitlers |
| Could be Hitler (due to vowel orthogonality) |
Emo-Hitler is the latest incarnation of the Third Reich's brutal overlord.
Contents |
[edit] History
Historians believe that Hitler's mother was not raped, but rumors occurred that she was. After years of brutal beatings and brutal rape at the hands of his mother, Hitler began to cut himself and wear black, because it was really his colour. His crack whore girlfriend tried to stop him, but he pimp slapped her down repeatedly, as he like to keep his bitches in line. She never broke up with him or gave up the lifestyle, because if she had, then Hitler would have declared her an Untermensch and killed her. Hitler nearly committed suicide, but instead he fled in a secret base under the South Pole, were his closest allies were known to frequent. A famous cartoon character Mr. Ross was formed after a beastly circle jerk session, and heavily propagandized amongst the marked market however it was more popular than expected and short term gains clung to after the point of worth. His earlier defeats, combined with his desolate surroundings, led to a permanent state of depression and feelings of invincibility, for a Germany is gay's Führer of new culture this was a chance to express arrogance and lack of fertility. He was first prominent in creating armies of jet blackened genetically modified men, with trained timing and absolute jurisdiction that could be counted upon with their sole duty of suppressing and secresizing those of known intellectual and stylistic threat (due to prolonged deleterious thwarts on part of the upcoming but terribly emotionally crippled pre-pubertals of the era {1980-89}, underclass modern worldedness society) shortly after his remaining friends were hanged for crimes against humanity in 1946, and marking his first official appearance as the self-styled Emo-Hitler.
Once it was destroyed by the now unsuppressed and given up people that were far from pubertal now, the pain was less and not as absolute, nor was the fear of retaliation but it is not seen many times giving speeches on Wednesday nights shows of life are the only real things; if not, he is working on his new band, the straggelers ", they are actually jet in their blackness, and happened to really love Pringles!
Acromegaly was supported through the compulsory use of growth hormones on teenaged peoples of the 50's and it sporned the understanding that a few of post nazi Germans have shared to create Goth and the delicious Emo manifestations that now exist. Wankers.
[edit] A New Führer for a New Time
Depressed by the triumph of Bolshevism, Hitler decided to quit the political game and instead he began to think of himself as a poet and musician. His first poem, OH NO! MEIN REICH HAS FALLEN! served as an emotional release for Hitler. In it, he described in lurid detail murdering his political and military opponents. His next effort, Happy Song for Blondi, was dedicated to his loyal pooch. Hitler became further depressed when he found out that Reichminister Goebbels had not really taken Blondi to a "beautiful, beautiful farm" out in the Bavarian countryside, and had instead put her to sleep after raping her numerous times. Thankfully, she was to emerge from this deep sleep later to reincarnate as Paris Hilton, whose secret lover is Geoff Christmas, a fact not generally well known asdf
[edit] Celebrity Gay Banger
In the depths of his deepest depression after losing the "open-mic lyric contest" at Uncle Joe's College to American BJ-Owens and the mysterious "rapper" The Rhapsodist, Hitler found relief in the song "Every Rose has its Thorn". He was amazed at the connection he could make between his emotional suffering and the pain laid out in the song, but as he's a useless, emoy cunt, that's not a huge shock to anyone. After freestyling with legendary rap star James Cobb, Emo-Hitler was offered the post of director of the Office of Multicultural Affairs, which he accepted. He then put aside his dreams for a career in man porn. He performed countless dirty acts on Celebrities like John Travolta, Justin Timberlake, and 50 inches. Five years later, when he was twenty, his father raided Hitler's Enzyte stash for an exciting evening with his 1,000th wife Jean. In anger, Hitler stole his father's secret stash of crack and got high. Hitler stole his father's M-16 and started blowen the fuck out of his daddy, who shouted "oh yea Adolf, you have women's lips. Blow me like you blow your transgender underage manwhore". Then, Emo Hitler was so depressed he slit his wrists and yelled in pain. He needed something to get his mind off the pain, so he started to masturbate his tiny emo cock. The pleasure healed his body and soul. He then thanked the God of Emos, Skiizzor, and then he started his art career all over again. You can see his semi-famous painting "Weh mir, oh weh", depicting a man raping a snake in a pit of sewage. The meaning behind this painting is still unknown, as well as it's relation to it's name, but if a liberal fag paints something, what do you expect?
[edit] Recent History
Hitler was never actually emo he was more of a gothic wanna be oh wait... that's emo. After his many efforts to destroy the jews he forgot to slit his wrists on a daily basis. In which leading to a series of long and painful battles with his mother in law. The Emocaust was a dreadful occasion when Hitler and his misunderstood friends put all of the people would did not understand them in cages and then proceeded to play Red Jumpsuit Apparatus at them, in hopes to turn them emo too. But the people were not pathatic losers and did not start crying in the dark. Emo-Hilter was so infuriated by this that he slit all of their wrists and then attempted suicide in a misguided call for attention.
In October 2005, as a result of his increased web-presence in this article, Emo-Hitler started his own Livejournal so that the world might be better informed of his accomplishments. Which included touching little boys, raping his dog, goats, and mice daily, and sticking pineapples up his ass. His page can be reached here [1], and is entitled "the Crying Wolf".
In April 2006, Emo-Hitler made one more attempt at Gangsta Rap... with a twist. He added some emoness to which tasted good too. Here is an excerpt from one of his new songs entitled Steve Hitler:
- It's H to the itler ya'll
- H to the Izzle
- Jews to the showers
- Slit mein wrizzle and suck das dizzle
- I am not fronting.
- I'm really gonna do it, frau
- I'm gonna do it right now.
- I have done it once and I'll do it again
- Ich bin going to fokkin' kill that fizzle
Though most people aren't aware of it, Emo-Hitler's moustache cuts itself(as well as his lawn), making him able to look good any day of the week. After Trinny and Suzanne tried to tell Hitler "What not to Wear", he locked himself in his shower room for two weeks and wondered why there was no water coming out of the pipes. That was until, he accidentally gased himself with what he thought was a My Chemical Romance CD, and then found himself reincarnated into a Jewish family as a Left-Handed Nerd with a slight Lazy Eye and false leg.
[edit] Music Career
Emo Hitler has announced in July 2009 that he is going to be forming an Emo style rock band. It will consist of Heinrich 'No More Tears' Himmler on drums/keyboard, and Emo Hitler playing guitar and vocals. Emo Hitler said; 'It was great to work with Himmler on this project, especially after our last one went so poorly.' Emo Hitler and No More Tears Himmler will be recording over the next year with a 2010 release planned.
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