Em:

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia

Revision as of 23:18, April 26, 2011 by Dr. Skullthumper (talk | contribs)

Jump to: navigation, search

Welcome to Emopedia,

The artsy and misunderstood encyclopedia that anyone can edit, but probably won't, since nobody cares.
30,663 heart-rending poems in English

Loneliness · Rejection · Love · Misery · Death · </3

Categories · Featured content · A–Z index

Today's Message of pain

Loneliness is the dark despair of solitude.

It is the feeling that no one loves me.
Not even my mom or my cat really understand the pain of Teenaged Angst.
No one understands me.
No one loves me.
My family claims that they do, but we all know they're lying.
God, I hate them so much; the fakes.
The only people who love me, The only ones who understand or care
All live in my iPod...


Valentines Day. People are supposed to be happy, right?
I'm not.
Not since she left me.
I guess she found someone more screwed up than I am,
or perhaps he's just more Scene than I, or maybe it's his hair.
It was the best three days of my life, though, with her.
She was so much better than the girl last week.
I let her draw Xs and Cut Lines on my wrists in sharpie.
They're still there, mocking me, reflecting the darkness in my soul.
They are tempting me.

Did you care...

*...that since haste makes waste, and slow and steady wins the race, it follows that everybody who loses a race must therefore be charged with littering?
  • ...that the oozy, off-colored mound of bloody what-ever-it-is stretching its way out of what used to be a tiny hole is a baby's head?
  • ...that since haste makes waste, and slow and steady wins the race, it follows that everybody who loses a race must therefore be charged with littering?
  • ...that the oozy, off-colored mound of bloody what-ever-it-is stretching its way out of what used to be a tiny hole is a baby's head?
  • ...that since haste makes waste, and slow and steady wins the race, it follows that everybody who loses a race must therefore be charged with littering?
  • ...that the oozy, off-colored mound of bloody what-ever-it-is stretching its way out of what used to be a tiny hole is a baby's head?
  • ...that since haste makes waste, and slow and steady wins the race, it follows that everybody who loses a race must therefore be charged with littering?
  • ...that the oozy, off-colored mound of bloody what-ever-it-is stretching its way out of what used to be a tiny hole is a baby's head?
  • ...that since haste makes waste, and slow and steady wins the race, it follows that everybody who loses a race must therefore be charged with littering?
  • ...that the oozy, off-colored mound of bloody what-ever-it-is stretching its way out of what used to be a tiny hole is a baby's head?
  • ...that since haste makes waste, and slow and steady wins the race, it follows that everybody who loses a race must therefore be charged with littering?
  • ...that the oozy, off-colored mound of bloody what-ever-it-is stretching its way out of what used to be a tiny hole is a baby's head?
  • ...that since haste makes waste, and slow and steady wins the race, it follows that everybody who loses a race must therefore be charged with littering?
  • ...that the oozy, off-colored mound of bloody what-ever-it-is stretching its way out of what used to be a tiny hole is a baby's head?
  • ...that since haste makes waste, and slow and steady wins the race, it follows that everybody who loses a race must therefore be charged with littering?
  • ...that the oozy, off-colored mound of bloody what-ever-it-is stretching its way out of what used to be a tiny hole is a baby's head?
  • ...that since haste makes waste, and slow and steady wins the race, it follows that everybody who loses a race must therefore be charged with littering?

Recent deaths

Mikesam.jpg


Today sucks because...

September 1: Christmas Shopping Season Starts
  • 13 CE - Jesus becomes the first athiest after killing God and being told that Santa isn't real.
  • 1914 - The last passenger pigeon dies in captivity in the Cincinnati Zoo. The taxi pigeon and the bus pigeon promptly file for bankruptcy.
  • 1939 - Adolf Hitler plays a dirty trick on Poland.
  • 1982 - Lovers of Chocolate enjoy life. Chocolate Related Disease increases.
  • 1986 - Santa has a gift for you in his pocket ...
  • 1989 - Wendys begins to serve fairies to the masses. They are quickly determined "too salty" and discontinued.
  • 1990 - The single lightbulb inside of the Grease Hut begins to flicker periodically. This the extent of the restaurant's Christmas decorations.
  • 1992 - The first NFL game of a new era: The England Patriots at the The Dubai Colts (Attendance: 111,223). Emperor George Bush Sr. is angered that all the American sports teams (not basketball) left America for Bill Clinton's Eurasia.
  • 1994 - The United Nations pass a resolution to prevent the Christmas shopping season from starting prior to the 1st of September. Retailers declare war on UN.
  • 1995 - You killed a monkey at the zoo with poisoned bananas then you laughed uncontrollably. How dare you.
  • 1995 - A midget was stolen from the North Pole and raised as an Australian.
  • 1996 - Gobber the mathemagician convinces millions that 2+2 does actually equal five.
  • 2003 - Bill Gates buys the Andromeda galaxy for his wife and Alpha Centauri for his son.
  • 2004 - It is proven that penguins are the smartest creatures in the universe, but the paperwork proving this got used to mop up some spilt coffee and they couldn't be bothered to print it out again.
  • 2007 - Halls are decked early this year to the dismay of masons everywhere.

Today's featured artistry

Heart-o-nails

My heart has been broken... Then taken out and had a bunch of nails put in it.

Image Credit: RadicalX
Nominate new image - View all featured images

Newest MySpace friends

Office etiquette (rw) | Barcelona | Antigonish, N.S. | Navelism | Cutter® (rw) | Rutherford B. Hayes | Netflix | Pink slime | Battle of Bosworth | The 100 | Twelve Tables | Jam session | New Jersey | Keynesianism (rw) | George R. R. Martin | Wat Tyler | Father Ted | Andorra | Town meeting | Mylène Farmer | Eclipse (rw) | Fringe | Millard Fillmore | Garter | Jared Leto (rw) | Counties of England | Bosnia and Herzegovina | Anderson Bruford Wakeman Howe | Boko Haram (repl) | Khmer Rouge | Sexual physics


More newest friends | Pages that abandoned us | Lovelorn Pages | Add to stubs | Lonely pages | Emo Review | Try writing about... | Stuck articles needing a push

Poets of the Month

Wotm

Modusoperandi hunts down random, unfunny shit which he replaces with less-random, quasi-funny shit. Occasionally he gets up off his ass (or more correctly, sits down on it) and makes a page of his own, to which no one ever goes.

Recently he's been making pictures that people don't like and, having discovered UnNews, has been making fake news stories (rather than the fake regular stories that he normally makes).


Noobaward

The Bard (baptised 26 April 1564 – died 23 April 1616) was an English poet and playwright widely regarded as the greatest writer of the English language, and the world's preeminent dramatist. He wrote approximately 38 plays and 154 sonnets, as well as a variety of other poems. Already a popular writer in his own lifetime, the Bard became increasingly celebrated after his death and his work adulated by numerous prominent cultural figures through the centuries.


Congratulations to Hardwick Fundlebuggy, our Poet of the Year, and Mhaille, our Self-harmer of the Year!


Vote for Poet of the Month | Vote for Loner of the Month | Vote for Self-harmer of the Month | Past Losers

Uncyclopedia is hosted by the Uncyclomedia Foundation, a non-profitable organization that also hosts a range of other projects.
UnNews Logo Potato (No text) UnNews
The news source on crack
Uncyclopedia Puzzle Potato Notext Uncyclopedia
The content-free encyclopedia
Undictionary Logo Text Undictionary
The ick!tionary of all things best left unsaid
UnTunes2 UnTunes
Where noisy things can live and prosper
Game-Logo notext Games
Another way to waste time
Gorillatrans HowTo
Instructions and guides for anything and everything
Unbooks-logo notext UnBooks
Content-free books
Unquotable-logo-en vector notext Unquotable
Useless misquotes galore
Uncycloversity-logo-notext Uncycloversity
If it makes sense, we don't want it
UnPoetialogo UnPoetia
Poetry for people who hate poetry
Undebate logo UnDebate
Debating all the irrelevant issues
UnScripts UnScripts
We can ruin stage and film too
Why Why?
Don't make me explain it to you twice
UnReviewsLogo UnReviews
We'll tell you why things suck
Uncyclomedia Commons notext UnCommons
Broken media repository


This Uncyclopedia, started in 2005, currently contains 30,663 articles. Uncyclopedias are being written in many languages:
Uncyclopedia Puzzle Potato Notext
Uncyclopedia
English
United Kingdom
W17x11 30649
Desciclopédia
Português
Brazil
35457
アンサイクロペディア
日本語
Japan
16220
Nonsensopedia
Polski
Poland
W17x11 20323
Nonciclopedia
Italiano
Italy
W17x11 12328
Wiki it
1dÉ
Désencyclopédie
Français
France
W17x11 7257
Inciclopedia
Español
Spain
W17x11 8775
偽基百科
正體中文
Taiwan
5328
Uncyclopedia.de
Deutsch
Germany
W17x11 5520
Hikipedia
Suomi
Finland
6804
Hikipedia
Pagecount statistics listed above were updated on August 12, 2011.

Protected by the life-is-unfair Use Clause, and an elite clan of Goths.

Personal tools
projects