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31,461 heart-rending poems in English

Loneliness · Rejection · Love · Misery · Death · </3

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Today's Message of pain

Loneliness is the dark despair of solitude.

It is the feeling that no one loves me.
Not even my mom or my cat really understand the pain of Teenaged Angst.
No one understands me.
No one loves me.
My family claims that they do, but we all know they're lying.
God, I hate them so much; the fakes.
The only people who love me, The only ones who understand or care
All live in my iPod...

Valentines Day. People are supposed to be happy, right?
I'm not.
Not since she left me.
I guess she found someone more screwed up than I am,
or perhaps he's just more Scene than I, or maybe it's his hair.
It was the best three days of my life, though, with her.
She was so much better than the girl last week.
I let her draw Xs and Cut Lines on my wrists in sharpie.
They're still there, mocking me, reflecting the darkness in my soul.
They are tempting me.

Did you care...

*...that the Virgin Birth is no longer considered a miracle? Women have been giving birth to virgins for centuries!
  • ...that there is no other word for thesaurus?

Recent deaths

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Second Front Pages: BrexitHillary!TrumpUK 2015 electionGreece

Today sucks because...


This is October 28th: National Realism Day / 2nd Bolognese Day (First Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster) / Carp de Diem (US: Day of the Goldfish), Feast day of Saint Jude (usually celebrated by going "Nah, nah-nah, nah-nah-nah-nah, hey Jude" for fifteen minutes). Also this is play Cod black ops and don't do ur homework day. US only. u die if u not in US and u celebrating this holiday.

  • 1066 - William the Bad Motherfucker PWNZ the Saxon army. Maybe they should have stopped playing so much damn jazz and maybe picked up a sword, eh?
  • 1492 - Christopher Columbus lands in Cuba, stocks up on Cuban cigars, Che Guevera memorabilia.
  • 1835 - In Paris, nothing happened the entire day that was worth rioting about. Rioting ensues.
  • 1955 - John McClane born in Yippee-Ki-Yay, MF.
  • 1955 - Bill Gates is born. Biblical scholars widely regard this as one of the signs of the End Times described by the Bible in Revelations 4:16 ("Yea, and there shall come a great Monopolist, and this Octopus shall cast his tentacles wide, and He shall spread darkness upon the land, in the form of buggy software, security holes, and poor interface design")
  • 1956 - Iranian president Mahmoud Ahmadinejad is born. His childhood is marked by several instances of being dropped on his head and drinking paint thinner.
  • 1793 - Eliphalet Remington, American firearms manufacturer, was born. Americans traditionally celebrate his birthday by turning to the person on their left and shooting them.
  • 1942 - The Alaska-Canadian Highway (Alcan) is completed, allowing Alaskans easy access to thousands of pounds of primo BC bud.
  • 2001 - God loses concentration for a minute and the sun sets on the British Empire, the British take this opportunity to take the whole world....bar France... again. Why can the frogs never be conquered?!?!?
  • 2010 - Old MacDonald claims that Michael Jackson appeared to him, on his farm, dressed as Captain EIEIO.
  • 2011 - God admits that Bill Gates does have more money than him.
  • 2012 - America relizes they made the worst genicide of them all and killed the indians then they gave the country back to them and it ends globel warming.

Today's featured artistry


My heart has been broken... Then taken out and had a bunch of nails put in it.

Image Credit: RadicalX
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Poets of the Month


Modusoperandi hunts down random, unfunny shit which he replaces with less-random, quasi-funny shit. Occasionally he gets up off his ass (or more correctly, sits down on it) and makes a page of his own, to which no one ever goes.

Recently he's been making pictures that people don't like and, having discovered UnNews, has been making fake news stories (rather than the fake regular stories that he normally makes).


The Bard (baptised 26 April 1564 – died 23 April 1616) was an English poet and playwright widely regarded as the greatest writer of the English language, and the world's preeminent dramatist. He wrote approximately 38 plays and 154 sonnets, as well as a variety of other poems. Already a popular writer in his own lifetime, the Bard became increasingly celebrated after his death and his work adulated by numerous prominent cultural figures through the centuries.

Congratulations to Hardwick Fundlebuggy, our Poet of the Year, and Mhaille, our Self-harmer of the Year!

Vote for Poet of the Month | Vote for Loner of the Month | Vote for Self-harmer of the Month | Past Losers You now only have 3, goddamnit 3 days to nominate and vote for Writer of the Month, Noob of the Month and Uncyclopedian of the Month, GET VOTING!!

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