Today's Message of pain
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Loneliness is the dark despair of solitude.
It is the feeling that no one loves me.
Not even my mom or my cat really understand the pain of Teenaged Angst.
No one understands me.
No one loves me.
My family claims that they do, but we all know they're lying.
God, I hate them so much; the fakes.
The only people who love me, The only ones who understand or care
All live in my iPod...
Valentines Day. People are supposed to be happy, right?
I'm not.
Not since she left me.
I guess she found someone more screwed up than I am,
or perhaps he's just more Scene than I, or maybe it's his hair.
It was the best three days of my life, though, with her.
She was so much better than the girl last week.
I let her draw Xs and Cut Lines on my wrists in sharpie.
They're still there, mocking me, reflecting the darkness in my soul.
They are tempting me.
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Did you care...
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- ...that you are likely to be eaten by a Grue?
- ...that Geocaching is an outdoor adventure and treasure-hunting game in which the participants utilize navigational techniques to identify valuable land, then leverage national tactics of force, covert ops, biological warfare, and/or other military techniques to obtain the land from the owners?
- ...that you are likely to be eaten by a Grue?
- ...that Geocaching is an outdoor adventure and treasure-hunting game in which the participants utilize navigational techniques to identify valuable land, then leverage national tactics of force, covert ops, biological warfare, and/or other military techniques to obtain the land from the owners?
- ...that you are likely to be eaten by a Grue?
- ...that Geocaching is an outdoor adventure and treasure-hunting game in which the participants utilize navigational techniques to identify valuable land, then leverage national tactics of force, covert ops, biological warfare, and/or other military techniques to obtain the land from the owners?
- ...that you are likely to be eaten by a Grue?
- ...that Geocaching is an outdoor adventure and treasure-hunting game in which the participants utilize navigational techniques to identify valuable land, then leverage national tactics of force, covert ops, biological warfare, and/or other military techniques to obtain the land from the owners?
- ...that you are likely to be eaten by a Grue?
- ...that Geocaching is an outdoor adventure and treasure-hunting game in which the participants utilize navigational techniques to identify valuable land, then leverage national tactics of force, covert ops, biological warfare, and/or other military techniques to obtain the land from the owners?
- ...that you are likely to be eaten by a Grue?
- ...that Geocaching is an outdoor adventure and treasure-hunting game in which the participants utilize navigational techniques to identify valuable land, then leverage national tactics of force, covert ops, biological warfare, and/or other military techniques to obtain the land from the owners?
- ...that you are likely to be eaten by a Grue?
- ...that Geocaching is an outdoor adventure and treasure-hunting game in which the participants utilize navigational techniques to identify valuable land, then leverage national tactics of force, covert ops, biological warfare, and/or other military techniques to obtain the land from the owners?
- ...that you are likely to be eaten by a Grue?
- ...that Geocaching is an outdoor adventure and treasure-hunting game in which the participants utilize navigational techniques to identify valuable land, then leverage national tactics of force, covert ops, biological warfare, and/or other military techniques to obtain the land from the owners?
- ...that you are likely to be eaten by a Grue?
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Recent deaths
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Today sucks because...
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February 10: International Bad Pun Day
- 1104 - Potato famine engulfs Ireland. Panhandling Leprechauns flood the cities because they're a little short
- 1105 - Irish Potato Phantom claims responsibility for bitter harvest.
- 1390 - Bread is invented. Everybody proposes a toast to the inventor of bread.
- 1391 - Sliced Bread is invented. This is the greatest thing invented since bread itself.
- 1392 - Toast is invented. Everybody proposes a bread to the inventor of toast.
- 1890 - Oscar Wilde's new play "Pun" is first performed in London. Critics describe it as a "play on words".
- 1950 - Future French actor Jean Reno is asked whether he wants to go to the toilet. "Oui, Oui" he replies.
- 1951 - Avocado discovers the mol. Scientific community dismisses him when he claims that they are not, in fact, brown and fuzzy.
- 1954 - Inventor of the handshake chokes while ingesting his own creation. Doctors attempted to finger force the patient but couldn't nail the problem in time. He died on the way to the hospital.
- 1965 - Pele gets his balls kicked by a fellow team member. Fortunately, his club is able to replace them and allows him to continue training.
- 1970 - Winnie the Pooh's son is born, Mr. Hankey the Christmas Poo.
- 1973 - Describing his spiritual journey into heavy metal, Jimmy Page admits that he was "led" into it.
- 1975 - Colorado Christian Boarding School-boy Dick Face is insulted for the first time. I would not be his last.
- 1980 - Various case studies indicate you can put things in them and carry them by their handles.
- 1981 - Bono and The Edge agree that they, too, like the Canadian Punk band "U".
- 1985 - Das Boot, a German film about gender neutral enclosed footwear, is released.
- 1996 - "Punny" added to the Oxford dictionary. Subsequent bonfire nearly engulfs America.
- 1997 - During a fight with Evander Holyfield, Mike Tyson's British trainer exclaims "What's this 'ere?"
- 1999 - The world's first cyborg can't fix himself because he is broke.
- 2008 - The Tea Room of Mercy Hospital, Australia, has its grand opening with hair in its tea, since the Koala tea of Mercy is not strained.
- 2017 - Walmart opens 1st store in Iraq. The only thing that was in its way before was that there was a target on every corner. Walmart stocks spike due to increase in Game department.
- 2031 - Juan Pablo Montoya is shot to death. Police believe the weapon to be a golf gun, because it made a hole in Juan.
- 2067 - The Roman Catholic church is finally bereft of nuns. There were none left.
- 2100 - Hugh Gass realises he has a huge ass.
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Poets of the Month
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Modusoperandi hunts down random, unfunny shit which he replaces with less-random, quasi-funny shit. Occasionally he gets up off his ass (or more correctly, sits down on it) and makes a page of his own, to which no one ever goes.
Recently he's been making pictures that people don't like and, having discovered UnNews, has been making fake news stories (rather than the fake regular stories that he normally makes).
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The Bard (baptised 26 April 1564 – died 23 April 1616) was an English poet and playwright widely regarded as the greatest writer of the English language, and the world's preeminent dramatist. He wrote approximately 38 plays and 154 sonnets, as well as a variety of other poems. Already a popular writer in his own lifetime, the Bard became increasingly celebrated after his death and his work adulated by numerous prominent cultural figures through the centuries.
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Congratulations to Hardwick Fundlebuggy, our Poet of the Year, and Mhaille, our Self-harmer of the Year!
Vote for Poet of the Month | Vote for Loner of the Month | Vote for Self-harmer of the Month | Past Losers
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