“You can tell it’s fake because it looks so fake”
“This is the first example of galactic weather forecasting”
Elon "Whitey on the Moon" Musk (real name Noel Smuk, born June 28, 1971 ) is a self-made egomaniac who wants to send cars into space via his SpaceX technology. His latest test drive saw a pilot willingly go into space to show off Musk's new car - the TurboGizmo. The resulting photos of the car apparently floating in orbit around the Earth have been dismissed by NASA as fakes as only they have the technology to put something useless into the Solar system.
His was formerly married to actress Talulah Riley - twice. Once because as a nerd he couldn't believe his luck and secondly, Talulah got her divorce papers in before him.
Musk or Smuk was born on plane travelling from South Africa to the USA. His parents are anagram crossword-addicts. It was they who came up with his preferred name 'Elon Musk', despite it sounding like the type of perfume worn by male models in the pages of GQ magazine.
Things he got involved inEdit
Elon (also known as Ego Mash when at school) showed early signs that he wanted to be in self-publicity. He got involved in a number of hopeless internet companies before coming up with PayPal when his credit card was shredded by an unresponsive ATM.
Things he could have got involved in but wasn't botheredEdit
At various stages Elon was involved in a number of projects that did achieve great success later. These include Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and Chrysler. His biggest dream was to turn space into a huge business opportunity. Musk is currently hoping to buy the many unclaimed rocks in the Asteroid belt. This was only recently revealed when he had told everyone before that he wanted to be the first man to drive his own car on the surface of Mars. Elon's true mission was to take claim on the interplanetary 'junk' between Mars and Jupiter and so had the rocket car's coordinates changed. Got you again Richard Branson!!
Things Elon could do laterEdit
Become the world's first genuine superhero not owned by Marvel or DC Comics. Instead he wants to be the next Henry Ford but without the anti-semitism. Musk's Tesla car range are supposed to be motors of the future. They can drive themselves and run on super lithium batteries. Some are also equipped with flame throwers to keep rats from climbing on board and eating the wiring.
Gay Orphan Transgender PuppiesEdit
Musk has frequently come under fire from numerous critics by donating large amounts of money to the SPCA, a charity dedicated to the protection and re homing of Gay Orphan Transgender Puppies. By donating large sums of money, Musk has effectively gained a monopoly on all charities that support Gay Orphan Transgender Puppies, forcing others to support his cause even though that some, including Britney Spears, feel that they are unjust. Musk responded to the backlash in early 2018 when he launched Ms. Spears into Space using his Falcon Heavy rocket; thus forcing the masses of cwebrities into silence, for fear that they too will become space junk.