Elmo's World

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia

Jump to: navigation, search
Elmo's World

Elmo greeting his next victim to his world.

“I only tickled him where he wanted it.”

Elmo's World is a place of pure evil that man greatly fears. It is a dark and gruesome place ruled by a mass murderer named Elmo. The world consists of burning brimstone and suffering people, and is filled with the screams of the children who are its only permanent residents. This amuses the sinister Elmo, and makes him very happy to be the king. Those who enter this horrible world never return (except for blithering cowards), or if they do, they die within the next twenty seconds of escape.

edit Elmo

First Kill

Elmo moments before his first kill.

The story of Elmo's World began with the little monster named Elmo. Elmo was originally constructed as a toy for little children from Fisher-Price. There were many types of Elmos, some played patty cake and others were ticklish. Also, because children loved expensive and interactive toys, all the Elmos were a success. So it wasn't long before there came the plan to make an Elmo that knew children's names. Fisher-Price crowned this as their grand master plan, and they would even jack up the price even more than all previous Elmos. However Fisher-Price was facing a tight economic budget, so to save money, they decided to use thread from old materials that no one ever used anymore. One of these Elmo toys was stitched together from the the very thread that made up the coat of Jack the Ripper, and thus the spirit of the evil killer possessed the toy.


Elmo about to claim another life.

The toy was later purchased by a man who wanted to be a ventriloquist and since he wasn't very good at thrusting his voice, a talking doll was just what he needed to get his career going. At first, signs of possession went unnoticed. But soon the man's family started to worry when the doll threatened to kill their son, Fisher-Price simply passed it off as a malfunction. Two nights after the threat, the doll made its first kill. The man was doing a show one night with Elmo and was asking Elmo a lot of questions that annoyed the living hell out of him. Then he finally asked Elmo if he liked him, to which the doll responded by literally putting him in the spot light.

Elmo then started his career as a mass murderer. He continued this career for years, and soon his blue fur turned red after being stained with so much blood. Due to being possessed by Jack the Ripper, Elmo usually targeted women that he came across, though he would happily kill their husbands if they ever tried to stop him...which they all failed miserably.

However, he soon grew fascinated with the children that he also encountered and they soon became a major subject of his kills. The kills garnered much controversy around Fisher-Price who had accidentally brought this monster into the world. But Fisher-Price didn't mind, they were the subject of many newspaper articles and media attention, they ate this all up. There were many attempts by complete and utterly stupid people (including the aforementioned husbands) to put Elmo down, but all who tried to stop him met a bloody and horrible fate.

At one point, Elmo devised a horrible plan to kill Mr. Hooper, simply because he forgot to pay him once when he decided to work for him as a grocery bagger. He murdered Mr. Hooper's wife along with her boyfriend Jim Henson by using a shotgun while they were making out in Hooper's bedroom. Since the police were stupid, they magically assumed that Mr. Hooper had murdered his wife rather than Elmo (even though he had written with his crayon "Elmo Wuz Here" on the wall) and he was sentenced to be executed by the electric chair. Mr. Hooper tried to escape from prison using a sewer pipe, but Elmo thwarted his attempt by using his toilet to take a massive diarrhea dump, causing him to nearly drown in the Muppet's foul excrement.

During his execution, Elmo swiped the sponge that was needed to give Mr. Hooper a merciful execution while the executioner was off to take a bathroom break, causing him to die a horrible and painful death. He immediately giggled like a schoolgirl.

edit The Coming of Elmo's World

Bad Window

Elmo in his apartment on Sesame Street.

After years of running, Elmo was eventually caught by the police after they lured him into a pool of glue (telling him it was ice cream). Elmo was then forced to wear a strait jacket, was strapped to a operating table, and was then gagged to make sure he could not escape. Even so, the police could barely contain their prisoner, for Elmo was too psychotic and dangerous to keep subdued. Elmo was then placed in a jail cell without food and water for five weeks, during which he almost managed to escape and murdered several guards. After Elmo finally became too weak to move, they sent him to Hell after he was gunned down by Samuel L. Jackson (the only man with enough power to kill him, except for maybe Chuck Norris). Upon entering Hell, Elmo was immediately put through much torture and despair for his hideous atrocities.

Through his agony, Elmo was filled with rage and eventually challenged Satan himself for ownership of Hell. Now one would ask, what kind of idiot would risk his own kingdom when there is no need to do so? But unfortunately for Satan, he had a very big ego that forced him to do so. Elmo faced Satan in a game that he had no hope of ever cheating (let alone winning) at, a christian version of the game of Life. Elmo was actually skilled at cheating at this game and cheated his way to victory.

Upon winning the game, Elmo took over Hell and enslaved Satan himself. Elmo then brought Hell to the surface... in an apartment building on a place called Sesame Street. This place was full of cute and innocent residence, so none would suspect that Elmo's new world would be located here. Indeed, on the surface, it was a perfectly normal building. Inside the building...well...

After his new set up, Elmo lured innocent children into his world using candy and happy giggles, where they would be condemned to an eternity of torture that amused the insane Elmo. Each day Elmo thought of a different torture (usually involving a set of crayons), and his victims were forced to endure that torture until they were driven completely insane, much like Elmo himself. Elmo would start things off by showing his victims what the torture would be like, using his assistant, The Fish You Flushed a Few Years Ago. Satan himself was also used by Elmo to demonstrate these tortures, he was dressed in a bow tie and suit and was given the name Mr. Satan. He was then forced to show Elmo and his victims examples of the type of torture Elmo was thinking about.

edit End

Elmo's World met its end when Satan finally snapped his last nerve control cell. It happened one day, while Elmo was thinking of an extremely bad torture and ordered Satan to drop his pants in front of all the children. Satan refused to do so and Elmo started to whip him. He then ordered him again and again, but Satan refused and continued to get whipped. Then after the eighteenth whip, Satan finally snapped and unleashed all the hidden power he had kept contained within him for centuries, power that would force you to scream, "HOLY SHIT... that is some colossal power." This uncontrollable power broke Satan free of his chains and severely damaged Elmo's World. After the power finally simmered down, Elmo and his world were left severely injured. Satan then dragged the world and Elmo back underground. Elmo was then subject to an eternity of torture beyond imagination.

Personal tools