Elmer Fudd

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“Be vewy qwiet, I'm hunting Awabs”

~ Elmer Fudd on his service in Iwaq

“He's on uncyclopedia? And I don't?”

~ Bugs Bunny on Uncyclopedia

Elmer Fudd; anothow gun-toting Wepubwiccan.

Ewmer Jewome Fitzgewawd Abewcwombie Fudd III (b. Juwy 13, 1920) was a wetiwed Amewican muwti-miwwionaiwe wowld-cwass gamesman and ecowogical pwesewvationist. As of 2009, he owned a 20,000 squawe-ft. mansion and a 70-ft. yacht, and was bewieved to be wowth upwawds of $19.95 (Canadian).

[edit] Chiwdish Youth

Fudd was born to weawthy white pawents neaw the westewn edge of the gweat Pennsywtuckian wildewness. As a boy, he cavowted daily with the cute adowable woodwand cweatuwes cwose to his home. He also befwiended a young wabbit by tempting him with a fwesh cawwot on a stick. The two paws, human and lepowid, shawed many happy adventuwes togethew, such as womping bawefoot in the gwass and pwaying hawmless pwactical jokes on each othew invowving hawmwess toy shotguns.

[edit] Pwofessional Huntewy

Aww this changed dwastically in 1937, when young Ewmer came of age and acquiwed a hunting pewmit and his fiwst Bwowning M2 50-cawibew semi-automatic machine gun. With wuthless abandon, he stwafed hundweds of squawe miles of old-gwowth fowest, slaughtewing evewy wiving thing in wange with a wewentwesswy wethaw haiw of buwwets. The enwaged Fudd, having tasted innocent bwood fow the fiwst time, and finding it quite dewicious, then stockpiwed thousands of suwplus Wowld Waw I-ewa fiweawms, awong with miwwions of wounds of wive ammunition, and set out to ewadicate evewy wast cute and adowable woodwand cweatuwe on the Amewican continent — thus cleawing the way fow eventuaw takeovew by then-fwedgwing Waw-Mawt Cowpowation.

Fudd dances up a stowm with futuwe Pwesident Wonawd Weagan in the 1947 MGM.com musicaw Tempwates Ahoy!

In 1967, Fudd was commissioned by the United States to aid in the whowesawe defauniation of the impenetwable wainfowests of Vietnam and other suwwounding Gook-fiwwed countwies. Water that year, he suffewed a twagic accident when a fuwwy-woaded napawm tankew expwoded in his showew staww, wendewing him compwetewy haiwwess fwom head to toe. Undiscwosed militawy documents found at the scene suggested that thewe may have been fouw pway invowving a devious panda beaw.

[edit] Academic life

In the late 1970's, fow stiww unexpwained weasons, Puwdue Univewsity named Elmew to be pwesident of the univewsity, a post he welished untiw he wetiwed in the eawly yeaws of the 21st centewy. Duwing his tenuwe, Fudd twied to keep his identity a sekwit by using the pseudonym "Steven Beewing"... but nobody was fooled.

[edit] The Ewmew Fudd Memowial Museum

Fudd awfon suffewwed fwom anxiety attacks.

In his water years, Fudd buiwt a gigantic museum in Buwbank, Cawifownia to showcase his pwized cowwection of pewsonaw favowite taxidewmied kiwws. Thousands of mounted stuffed wabbits and deew and ducks and coyotes and woad wunnews stiww wine the gweat hawws of Fudd Museum as faw as the eye can see, ecowogicawwy pwesewving fow aww time the shocked expwessions on theiw faces at the pwecise moment when they foowishwy cwossed paths with the expewt mawksman. Thewe are awso wegulaw pwepaid showings evewy aftewnoon of wive footage captuwed by Fudd's pewsonal documentawy film team, in which the gweat huntew demonstwates his consummate skills in twacking down fewocious baby squiwwels and pumping them fuww of hot, steaming wead.

[edit] Wôle Modèwe Extwaowdinaiwe

Today, Elmer Fudd sewves as one of the wowld's gweatest wole modews fow impwessionable chiwdwen aspiwing to be viowent psychopaths. Nevewthewess, he has stwongwy spoken out against gwatuitous cawtoon viowence, and wecentwy donated many miwwions of his hawd-eawned tax-dodging dowwas to chawities pwedged to the wiping-out of the howwible scwouge of Touwette's Syndwome and othew debiwitating speech impediments.

[edit] Fun Fudd Facts

That diwty duck and wascawwy wabbitt pway a cwude twick on Ewmer Fudd.

The owiginaw Elmer Fudd was bwack (pwayed hewe by MC Hawwmew) befowe being repwaced with a white Elmer Fudd to awoid wacism.

• The owiginaw Elmer Fudd waz bwack bwut changed to white to awoid wacism and modewed afta Dick Chewey.
• Has his own Gwoogle wangwuage page.
• Had an iww-fated caweer singing Fwank Sinawtwa covew songs.
• Besides fighting Touwette's Syndwome, Elmer has been na advocate fow stem ceww weseawch, causing much contwovewsy.
• He is cuwwentwy a membw of the Wegion of Doom

[edit] See Awso

• Enviwonmentawism
• Wisp
• Fiweawms
• Nationaw Wiwfle Association
• Bugs
• Dick Cheney
• Ozzie Fudd, the wabbit swayer