Elle MacPherson

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Elle MacPherson is Australia's #1 most fuckable cum-bucket. She is a Superhero that started her crime-fighting in Sydney during the late 1970's, casting her cleavage powers over men that caused 896 liters of male sperm to be wasted per financial year, helping reduce the spread the seed of wankers in the country. Elle became the first Australian ambassador to fight the evil forces of Claudia Schiffer and Cindy Crawford from Titty-Team USA to prevent them invading Australia and opening up Walmart's everywhere in 1978. Elle became a national icon when her tits where seen to be bigger then the Americans and had the most control over Australian influence.

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For those without comedic tastes, the self-proclaimed experts at Wikipedia have an article about Elle MacPherson.

The Tits

Elle was born in Sydney in 1965. by the time she was 10, she developed her super-breasts and was using her powers over men in some kind of hypnotic-breast-mind-control. When she was 17 she became a chemist and learned scientific ways to make her boobs even more naturally bigger. With her new super-boob-enhancing formula, she decided to fight injustice and rid Australia of the current wankers populating boom being born every minute by giving the male population something to fight off the infection instead of spreading their seed into women. Men every where bought Elle's first ever swimsuit calender and within 6 months the wankers-boom was down by 14%.

The Tits Seen Around The World

Elle knew now to increase the percentage drop of wankers breeding would require taking her powers to new levels. She soon released exercise videos wearing bikinis, made public appearances walking up & down small pathways, and signing a deal with the Australian tourism distribution to make commercials boasting to people around the world to visit Australia as the wankers breeding population was now down 47%.

ELLE MCPHERSON

Elle enjoying a victory shower of sperm cells not being used for repopulating Australian wankers

The Tits Exposed

Newspaper

Everything exposed but the tits. Tea?

In 1981, the wankers of Australia were still breeding, so in a desperation thought, Elle exposed her breasts in several shoots for Playboy, Penthouse and Womans Day. Elle's knockers were seen hanging on every red-blooded man's walls across Australia and half the world. She had finally reduced the wanker-breeding population by 89% and also around the world, leading her to her first noble-prize award.

The American Tits Try To Invade The Land Down Under

Elle

Elle Laughs about defeating the evil forces of TittyTeam-USA

In 1985 the evil American Titty-Team of Claudia Schiffer & Cindy Crawford invaded Australian shores with press conferences that they where there to close down all K-Mart & McEwens stores to make way for chains of Walmarts to be built everywhere. A nation wide panic spread through the red-land at such a threat to close down their beloved stores. The nations stock markets crashed, politicians where rendered helpless, and Vegemite sales where in jeopardy. What could Australia do? well, this looks like a job for Super Elle.

Elle dawned her skimpy bikini costume and crashed TTUSA's next conference. She announced she was here to stop there evil plan, Claudia rose to her feet and said, "You will never stop us, Dynamic Duo-breasts" - Claudia then signaled for her henchmen to attack Elle. Elle used her boobs to deflect the attack, sending several henchmen flying out of the room with comic like bubble appearing every hit saying things like "WHAM", "BOOF", "DONK", "WANK" & "EUHHHHHHH" but soon several more henchmen where on the scene. Elle had to use her wits to escape, she used her tampon string to swing across the room and kick 12 more henchmen, but soon they where too much to handle and they had captured Elle.

Claudia instructed the henchmen to take her to the secret Team Titty USA Torture Room. Elle was escorted and forced into a secret location where the TTUSA where based. Cindy then advised the henchmen to tie Elle up and place her on the Titty-Twisting Machine. A machine that she explains twists your nipples till they pop. Elle was in serious trouble now. How could she possibly escape this? Stay tuned for the conclusion, same web page, same article, tune in the next sentence to find out.

A Breastacular Victory

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Cindy digs her evil claws into The Tits right tit

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What was left in the aftermath

As Cindy started up the machine to clamp Elle's nipples off, the evil duo of Cindy and Claudia walked away saying they couldn't stay to watch, they had Walmarts to build. As they left Elle began to wonder if this was the end. Then all of a sudden, Paul Hogan Super Dag burst through a wall, when the smoke cleared he stubbed out, "This aint the dunnys" but then noticed Elle's tits and gave a cheeky-old grin and smile to it. Then Elle yelled out, "Oi, Up Here" and Super Dag noticed there was a women attached to the breasts. He rushed over and untied Elle as she explained what was happening, then soon Elle & Super Dag where off to stop the TTUSA from building Walmarts in Oz.

They tracked down the evil doers in the Elle-Mobile, with the help of the Elle-tracking computer, and soon burst into the scene once again on the evil forces of TTUSA. This time Cindy and Claudia decided to fight Elle and Super Dag themselves. They got into a fight where bodies and silicone flew everywhere, Super Dag grabbed Cindy in a headlock and killed her with his radioactive-under-arm-body-oder before he collapsed out of breath, dieing for a beer.

It was now the final showdown between Elle and Cindy, Cindy taunted Elle about Revlon products making her look sexier then her, but Elle just flashed her tits at Cindy and she went into a jealous rage. Cindy leapt through the air with hands out aimed at Elle's throat, but Elle would just say, "Go-Go Elle boob Inflation" and Elles knockers increased in size by 400%. Cindy could not stop flying in mid air, and crashed into the cleavage of Elle where she remained incapacitated until police showed up to take her away.

Elle had saved Australia's K-marts everywhere, unfortunately she didn't save McEwens, but Australia forgave her as they still had Mitre-10.

The Tits Are National Heroes

Elle was awarded the Australian of the year for saving Oz from the American invasion and keeping K-Mart safe.

Elles Forces Grow Stronger Today

In more recent years Elle started up an Australian Super Heroes Federation. She is the leader of the group, with her trusty side kick Super Dag. She has since inducted members such as her very own sister, HonkHonk McPherson. Her sister is younger and just as sexy as Elle and helps prevent wankers from populating just as successfully as Elle. Other members include Super Agro, Humphrey Bogart Bear, and Fat Cat.

Tho the group has not been needed to fight evil forces invading Australia for over a decade now, should evil try to rear it's anorexic head again, they must always know, that where evil lurks, Elle will be ready.

Personal Life

Not much is known about Elles personal life. She likes to keep her true-identity a secret. But we do know she was dating Batman for a while. Her relationship with him was seen in the 1997 documentary, "Batman & Robin". Back in 1990 she was cast alongside fellow super sirens Kate Fisher and Portia DeRossi in a small home sex video made by Hugh Grant called "3 Chicks Walk Around A Bush Naked" which won an Oscar nomination for best use of 6 tits in a movie with no plot. Elle was also a regular host on the TV show "Britain Next Super Hero" where she was known as the "asshole" of the judges, commenting on there super powers about how bad she believed they are.

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Elle's Trusty Sidekick, SuperDag enjoys working with The Tits

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Elle's sister HonkHonk is a vital part of the new crime fighting Super Heroes of Australia

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