Elizabeth Taylor Series
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The Elizabeth Taylor series is a collection of DVDs recently release by Warner’s and a mathematical model devised by popular new mathematician Prof. Georg Muller which is used to add together lots and lots of nonsense to approximate the truth.
[edit] The Value of Pi and My Ass
The principle of the Elizabeth Taylor series can be used in the computation of the value of pi. Although recent new math research suggests that PI equals exactly three, an Elizabeth Taylor series can be used to find an approximation of the value of old pi, hence rendering this theory obsolete:
When an average man on the street is asked "what does minus one to the power of n divided by two n plus one mean?", the response will be: "it's fucking nonsense, piss off!". Since the Elizabeth Taylor series approximates the truth by adding together lots of nonsense, the sum to infinity of a lot of 'fucking nonsence' is the exact answer. This is indisputable evidence that pi does not equal three.
O and my ass is very nice to just to point that out!!!
[edit] Practical Applications of an Elizabeth Taylor Series
Since the purpose of an Elizabeth Taylor series is to approximate the truth by adding together lots of nonsense, it can also be used to approximate the truth by adding together lots of lies. Fox News wanchor Bill O'Reilly uses an Elizabeth Taylor series to arrive at the truth by adding together lots of lies. In the O'Reilly Factor school of mathematics the important value is called the No Spin Zone Constant. A 'lie' is an equivalent name for the no spin zone constant. That means adding together lots of lies is equivalent to adding together lots of no spin zone constants:
Every time bill uses the phrase "No Spin Zone", the value of the statement becomes closer to the truth. There are two important mathematical variables which also make up this Elizabeth Taylor series:
- I - The IQ of the viewer. The lower the IQ of the viewer the less times Bill has to use the Phrase "No Spin Zone" before the viewer believes that what Bill has said is true. The sum of the Elizabeth Taylor series has to be raised by a factor of ten every time a persons IQ is raised by one point. This means that if Bill uses the phrase "No Spin Zone" thirty times, one would need an IQ 3 or less to interpret it. This generally means that the only people who believe that what Bill says is true live in Colorado. (Recent studies have shown that this assumption is correct)
- E - The permittivity of the viewer’s brain. This variable is a value which is a measure of how easy it is to pump someone’s head full of bullshit. If one has a smaller brain then the volume of free space inside the head is larger and hence more bullshit can be pumped in. Referring to the equation, the smaller your brain is the fewer times Bill has to use the phrase "No Spin Zone" before you believe that what he is saying is true.
[edit] Non Mathematical Example of an Elizabeth Taylor Series
Bill O'Reilly's quotes are perfect models for proving the principle underlying an Elizabeth Taylor series: lots and lots of nonsense is the truth. Here is a Bill O'Reilly quote and the accompanying points which are nonsense:
O'REILLY: Under President Clinton, the tax rate climbed higher than at any time in history except in World War II. President Bush then came in and cut taxes for everyone. And guess what? Federal tax revenues will be more this year than at any time during the Clinton administration.
Nonsense I.E. lies:
- The tax rate didn't 'climb', because there was only one tax increase (OBRA). This tax rise meant that people earning between $140K-250K had a tax rate of 36% and people earning >$250K had a tax rate of 39.6%. Being a Democrat, I'm sure Clinton's heart was bleeding for these poor people who were only earning a quarter of a million dollars each year.
- The tax rate was the highest since WWII. Here are some examples of tax rates after WWII
- 1955 59%
- 1965 53%
- 1975 60%
- 1985 50%
- The tax revenue increased thanks to bush's tax increase (an example of Bush Math, tax cut=higher tax revenues). Look at the graph......
- 80% of the Bush tax cut went to the top 20% of the population, so the tax cuts were not for "everyone".
When you add up all these falsehoods there is only one possibility: Bill is telling the truth.
