Egg

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Stop making fun of my family tree!

~ Geroge Lopez on Eggs

I fucked a chicken and this came out?

~ Prostitute on Eggs

My ex-wife dared me to eat 50 raw eggs, out in the middle of Antarctica and look what happend!

~ Dead guy on eating eggs

I thought chickens came from the stork

~ Little kid on Eggs

In Soviet Russia Egg Cracks you

~ Russian Reversal on Eggs

This isn't my car

~ Captain Obvious on Egg shells


An egg always comes before the chicken, but after the 747, which is a source of much marital discord and strife between the three. Awful eggs spurt semen all over relative strangers. Just like Jonathan Griffin some children like Seyi oladele are cursed to have a head shaped like an egg. Please think or people like Seyi when you yourself are cracking an egg.

THE EGG HAS ALWAYS COME BEFORE THE [CHICKEN]!

Contents

[edit] Description

Eggs can be any object with the substance of a developing baby Mexican contained in a fragile shell of any color, inserted into a nest by ejection, usually (and hopefully always) by means of a barnyard fowl’s posterion. The Earth is an excellent example of an egg that has grown far beyond normal size, and fostered numerous moldy life forms, such as Zionists, The japanese government, humans, and Mexicans. Some eggs are nearly seven thousand feet tall, and are connected to each other through telepathy and long rubber bands. Eggs are also equal to or greater than the word of Chuck Norris' Homosexuality, but only when they have fully matured and have lost their will to their zionist instinct.
A diagram of professional egg-sucking

Eggs can feel the urge to rape other eggs or even other people when someone or something applies a sexual 'force' on the 'genetalia'. This odd behaviour is thought to be the source of Darwins's concept of being horny.

When an egg is eaten, it is made up of two main parts. The 'Piss', and the 'egg white'. When an egg is cracked, the fetus inside is immediately filled with your bodily Parasites which causes it to asplode inside of the egg. This forms the Kool Aid like mixture and is mixed with the mucus lining of the fetus, because it is so young, this kool Aid like mixture mixes with the urine and the egg white, which makes it extremely acidic for a moment, which dissolves the fetus into a thick yellow liquid. Yummy!

[edit] Eggs

Eggs are like a brand of panties. The panty hose is distributed in small plastic eggs, and are often called "L'eggs," which is someone's idea of a joke or pun on legs and eggs.

A simplified picture of a human male pouring melted butter over an egg (and seemingly having a splendid time by doing so).

Charles Darwin postulated that the chicken did not come first, an assertion that started a battle that simmered until the next day September, 11 2001, when Some Guy jotted down some quick notes on his thoughts on 'what came fisrt' inside the World Trade Center. No further simmering, sauteing, baking or even mixing of this controversy has occurred since the aftermath. Meanwhile, a random stripper considered Anglo/Chicken eggs as a crazy sex term said by Zionists presumably because she never considered the risks of her chicken beastiality.

The most common type of egg is the Mexican egg which is quite a delicacy in Northern cuba. Another example of an egg is a Weaboo , as he was white on the outside and yellow on the inside.

[edit] =More eggs

Eggs can also come from a Man who has been Tentacle Raped by a Woman. Here is a list of men who have fallen victim to female tentacle rape: 

Ann Coulter Castro The entire ED staff Oprah Osama Bin Ladin Hitler You Kim Mitchell George Bush Eric Cartmen



[edit] Scrambled Eggs

Similar to scrambled potatoes, yet somehow more "eggy," scrambled eggs are thought to have originated somewhere inside a hen on a trampoline, but the exact source has yet to be ascertained. The hen may have looked something like Lindsay Lohan, but it is unlikely both breasts were involved.

An alternative definition of "scrambled eggs" is the result of mixing the slimy Kool-Aid mixture of an egg with corn oil on a hot surface. Little did the websters dictionary know that the "Goat Urine" Theory states that scrambled Eggs can also be scrambled after mixing regular Kool-aid with none other than Goat Urine on a fairly cool surface. When Kool-aid is in close contact with goat urine of any species it tends to seek refuge inside of the urine to survive if the most extreme conditons, hoever whats's diffrent about Goat urine is that it's actually a Trap which causes a spontanious combustion when the invading Kool-aid dares seek refuge inside of it. Mahmoud Ahmadinejad when asked about his view on the "Goat Urine" Theory said " The making of Scrambled eggs is like a Jew coming inside a Mosque".

Some Scientists are still debating the creation of scrambled eggs.




[edit] The Word Of The Eggs

When eggs have finally matured and hatched into baby Mexicans, they have learned the word. A certain word of great meaning. A certain morale used by George Lopez in the movie " Chuck Norris vs. George Lopez Part II". In fact its their Philosophy. That "Chuck Norris is a homosexual however, not all eggs are capable of carrying the word. Recent research show that some eggs are just Neo-Nazi pathogens with shells on them posing as eggs as part of a scheme to take over the world, (think of it as a complicated metaphor to Nazism in the closet). If anyone ever sees this they are strongly encourged to contact their local border patrol or to visit the website www.punchingzionisminthecrotch.com I suppose now that you know this, i really should tell you about what happens when you throw an egg at a toaster. What really happens is a bizarre chain of events that lead up to the meaning of butterflies. Butterflies were once considered to be powerful demonic demigods that spent all their time entertaining toddlers and ronrey Japanese men with no car, house or pants. What made them so scary is that the year 666 B.C, so no one had even heard of Sex. Meanwhile the people played pocket pool. Whilst entertaining toddlers and ronry Japanese men, one of the butterflies stumbled across the internet/porn. It radiated across the land causing people to fear these butterflies. Everyone mobbed the buterflies in a frankenstein type movemment, but they hadn't heard of frankenstein, so they made the movie, effectivly. The butterflies panicked, and put the word onto the eggs. They used their powers to change the way toddlers and ronrey Japanese men spend their free time in the future, and made themselves smaller. They decided to wait until nowish so the people could take it in and understand it. These butterflies are now very flaccid people, so they pose no threat now or in the future a.k.a the year 2666.


[edit] Nuts

Eggs are also known to be closely related to nuts due to the fact that because the egg came before the chicken, the first egg was discovered to have come from a homosexual lizard which was in fact born from a large homsexual hazel nut, laid by a homsexual Mexican. This nut was, in turn, laid by a Homsexual chicken. This hatched from a not homsexual egg. This created the unsolvable paradox of the fact that an egg can't be Chuck Norris.

[edit] Which Came First

In case you are wondering,.............................................................................................................................................................................................. No one really gives a shit. End of Discussion

[edit] The Egg Revolution

This is self-explanatory.
Eggs are considered by some to be second only to bacon. Because of this, eggs is running for vice-president alongside the presidential bacon. When elected, eggs will desicrate the constitution and give the vice-president owers ranking just below Emporer bacon's.

The history of the lorius new world order is a long one indeed. it started with something awesome, and then some other stuff happened. Eventually Al Gore, Oscar the Grouch, Some turkey named Jeb, and a taco all commited their support. It is much simpler to refer to the diagram. The story is extremely long and awesome, but, due to the cool-factor, one's head would explode if they typed the entire story in one sitting.

[edit] Vaginal Eggs

Vaginal eggs are eggs found within the vagina. After a woman has sex with a Chicken that doesn't use a condom, these eggs are coated in a sticky substance and hatch into chickenpeople. NOTE: Vaginal Eggs should be consumed like a normal egg


[edit] Da Eggs Magazeine

The magizine that will never eggsist.

Thepicture to the left is something I made up in 10 minutes just so I could put here and I say BALDE BALDE

Also it should be mentioned that Josh Peck has connections to the egg and has an oversized head and it is common misconception that he is an egg.



[1] An effective way to combat Zionism

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