Egg
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“Eggcellent! ”
~ Oscar Wilde on Eggs
“Stop making fun of my family tree! ”
~ Geroge Lopez on Eggs
“I have both at once please waitress ”
~ Hungry Man on the chicken or the Egg coming first
“I screwed a chicken and this came out?”
~ Prostitute on Eggs
“My ex-wife dared me to eat 50 raw eggs, out in the middle of Antarctica for a hundred bucks look what happend!”
~ Dead guy with 100 bucks on eating eggs
“I bet you hundred bucks you can't eat 50 of these raw in the middle of Siberia!”
~ Dead guys wife on eating eggs
“I thought chickens came from the stork”
~ Little kid on Eggs
“In Soviet Russia Egg Cracks YOU!!”
~ Russian Reversal on Eggs
“This isn't my car”
~ Captain Obvious on Egg shells
An egg always comes before the chicken, but Chuck Norris came before both...so why even give a shit on which came first?
THE Bone HAS ALWAYS COME BEFORE THE [CHICKEN]!
Contents |
[edit] Description
Eggs can be any object with the substance of a developing baby Mexican contained in a fragile shell of any color, inserted into a nest by ejection, usually (and hopefully always) by means of a barnyard fowl’s posterion. The Earth is an excellent example of an egg that has grown far beyond normal size, and fostered numerous moldy life forms, such as Zionists, The japanese government, humans, and Mexicans. Some eggs are nearly seven thousand feet tall, and are connected to each other through telepathy and long rubber bands. Eggs are also equal to or greater than the word of Chuck Norris' Homosexuality, but only when they have fully matured and have lost their will to their zionist instinct. Eggs can feel the urge to rape other eggs or even other people when someone or something applies a sexual 'force' on the 'genetalia'. This odd behaviour is thought to be the source of Darwins's concept of being horny.
When an egg is eaten, it is made up of two main parts. The Piss, and the egg white. When an egg is cracked, the animal inside is immediately filled with fear which causes it to urinate inside of the egg. This urine is mixed with the mucus linning of the Egg white,which makes it extremely acidic for a moment, which dissolves the baby animal into a thick yellow liquid. For some fucked up reason, this generally is peoples favorite part of de EGgZoR!!!
[edit] Eggs
Eggs are like a brand of panties. The panty hose is distributed in small plastic eggs, and are often called "L'eggs," which is someone's idea of a joke or pun on legs and eggs.
Charles Darwin postulated that the chicken did not come first, an assertion that started a battle that simmered until the next day September, 11 2001, when Some Guy jotted down some quick notes on his thoughts on 'what came fisrt' inside the World Trade Center. No further simmering, sauteing, baking or even mixing of this controversy has occurred since the aftermath. Meanwhile, a random stripper considered Anglo/Chicken eggs as a crazy sex term said by Zionists presumably because she never considered the risks of her chicken beastiality.
The most common type of egg is the Mexican egg which is quite a delicacy in Northern cuba. Another example of an egg is a Weaboo , as he was white on the outside and yellow on the inside. DRINK BEEER NAO!
[edit] =More eggs
Eggs can also come from a Man who has been Tentacle Raped by a Woman. Here is a list of men who have fallen victim to female tentacle rape:
Ann Coulter Castro The entire ED staff Oprah Osama Bin Ladin Hitler You Kim Mitchell George Bush Eric Cartmen
[edit] Scrambled Eggs
Similar to scrambled potatoes, yet somehow more "eggy," scrambled eggs are thought to have originated somewhere inside a hen on a trampoline, but the exact source has yet to be ascertained. The hen may have looked something like Lindsay Lohan, but it is unlikely both breasts were involved.
An alternative definition of "scrambled eggs" is the result of mixing the slimy Kool-Aid mixture of an egg with corn oil on a hot surface. Little did the websters dictionary know that the "Goat Urine" Theory states that scrambled Eggs can also be scrambled after mixing regular Kool-aid with none other than Goat Urine on a fairly cool surface. When Kool-aid is in close contact with goat urine of any species it tends to seek refuge inside of the urine to survive if the most extreme conditons, hoever whats's diffrent about Goat urine is that it's actually a Trap which causes a spontanious combustion when the invading Kool-aid dares seek refuge inside of it. Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad when asked about his view on the "Goat Urine" Theory said " The making of Scrambled eggs is like a Jew coming inside a Mosque".
Some Scientists are still debating the creation of scrambled eggs.
[edit] The Word Of The Eggs
When eggs have finally matured and hatched into baby Mexicans, their Mexican parents teach them the word along with the word on how to Border jump and steal American jobs. A certain word of great meaning. A certain phrase used by George Lopez senior. In fact its their Philosophy. That "Chuck Norris is a homosexual however, not all eggs are capable of carrying the word. Recent research show that some eggs are just Neo-Nazi pathogens with shells on them posing as eggs as part of a scheme to take over the world, (think of it as a complicated metaphor to Nazism in the closet). If anyone ever sees this they are strongly encourged to contact their local border patrol or to visit the website www.punchingzionisminthecrotch.com I suppose now that you know this, i really should tell you about why Mexican eggs and Jews have so much in common. What really happend was a bizarre chain of events that lead up to the meaning of butterflies. Butterflies were once considered to be powerful demonic demigods or Jews that spent all their time entertaining baby Mexicans and ronrey Japanese men with no wife, house or pants, due to the fact that these are the most easily entertainable people in the world. What made them so scary is that the year 666 B.C, so no one had even heard of Sex, imagine 666 years without SECKS!! Meanwhile the people played pocket pool for entertainment. Whilst entertaining baby Mexicans and ronry Japanese men, one of the butterflies stumbled across the internet/porn. It radiated across the land causing people to fear these butterflies. Everyone mobbed the buterflies in a frankenstein type movemment, but they hadn't heard of frankenstein, so they made the movie, effectivly. The butterflies panicked, and put the word onto the eggs. They used their powers to change the way Mexicans and ronrey Japanese men spend their free time in the future, and made themselves smaller. They decided to wait until nowish so the people could take it in and understand it. These butterflies are now very flaccid people, so they pose no threat now maybe in the future a.k.a the year 2666, but not now.
[edit] Nuts
Eggs are also known to be closely related to nuts due to the fact that because the egg came before the chicken, the first egg was discovered to have come from a homosexual lizard which was in fact born from a large homsexual hazel nut, laid by a homsexual Mexican. This nut was, in turn, laid by a Homosexual chicken. This hatched from a not homsexual egg. This created the unsolvable paradox of the fact that an egg can't be Chuck Norris.
[edit] Which Came First
In case you are wondering,.............................................................................................................................................................................................. Eggs are made from Chickens and chickens are made out of eggs to the power of 100000000000000. '. End of Discussion
[edit] The Egg Holocaust
David star brand Eggs are considered by some to be second only to white german bacon. Because of this, Adolf "bacon" Hitler sent a nasty letter to president of David Star. Unfortunatley the head of David Star thought this was a declaration of war and in response sent over 9000 jewish teenagers to firebomb Hitlers bacon farms. Hitler was outraged and in response sent 9001 German teenagers to burn down the head of David Stars' farms and rape his daughter. This lead to the birth of over 9001 Jewish/Aryan babies. Hitler was absolutley mortified by this information since it was one of the most embarrising incidents to happen to Germany since World War 1. To compensate for this incident Hitler decided to mail to the president of David star a video containing an apology and a truce perposal, however days after Hitler mailed his video tape he discovered that he had accidentally mailed one of Germanys most prized porn videos "2girls1cup". The President of David star was unaware for he immediatly posted the video on the Jewish internetz which led to the burning and scrambling of over 6 million Jews. To this very day we consider these two foods racially equal to prevent future quaralling. America even gave these eggs their own website which is currently known as Encyclopedia Dramatica.[edit] Vaginal Eggs
Vaginal eggs are eggs found within the vagina. After a woman has sex with a Chicken that doesn't use a condom, these eggs are coated in a sticky substance and hatch into chickenpeople. NOTE: Vaginal Eggs should be consumed like a normal egg to prevent impotency in men. Jacob likes 'em!
[1] An effective way to combat Zionism


