Edward Elgar

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Edward Elgar (1857-1934) was an English composer, rap artist, and fighter pilot. His most famous work was the 1990 collaboration with Bart Simpson Do the Bartman.


Elgar after facial elongating plastic surgery.

edit Military Career

In 1914 Elgar joined the British Air Force, quickly rising to the position of Moustached Bisexual Wing Commander with the 12th division lead by Major Gustav Holst. His most famous achievement was shooting down a Blue Whale, which was trying to gain access to the Prime-minister's residency through an upper window. For this service he was award a Ford Focus.

edit Musical Career

Elgar was a composer well known for his revolutionary techniques such as using the outlawed time signature 3/4. In his orchestral composition Enigma Variations. Elgar dedicated each variation to a personal friend. These include; No. 4 Michael Schumacher, No. 7 Michael Buble, and No. 14 Lenin. Elgar's symphonies are rubbish.. FACT. Along with Schoenberg and Berg, Elgar founded the 2nd Viennese School, but was thrown out for being to experimental.

edit Elgar's work in Popular Culture?


edit Most popular compositions:

Elgar's work is too dissonant to ever achieve popularity amongst any but musical terrorists.

edit The Man; The Tash

Elgar's facial hair was declared 4th wonder of the ancient world in 1917. His moustache was so large that the British Government made it a listed building; meaning that to remove it was a criminal offence.

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