Edumacation

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Edumacation

An edumacated female homo sapian.

Edumacation is the process by which one becomes edumacated, the achievement of which is generally marked by a gradumacation ceremony. Edumacated people know a lot of things, though the process of how they came to know them mostly remains a mystery to onlookers.

Obtaining an edumacation

To obtain an edumacation, one must first become a "student" by enrolling at a school. Various types of schools exist, such as nursery school, high school, and college. Choosing which type of school to enroll in, based on the current stage of your edumacation, can be difficult. It is often tempting to want to reduce the amount of time spent in having yourself edumacated by "skipping" nursery school and high school, and immediately enrolling in a prestigious university (such as Uncycloversity). However, if you are male, this may decrease your likelihood of obtaining sex during your edumacation. Since many of the female students at your university will be older than you, it is unlikely that they would find you physically attractive. However, if you are female, this should be nothing to worry about. For the self directed there are many channels to obtain tidbits of educmacation, they include; word of mouth, rap songs and folk music, internet forums, online video and role modeling. Some occurrences of channeled edumacation have been reported.

Skills acquired

  • Being able to spell words accurately enough for search engines to provide you with the proper spelling.
  • Being able to ignore long speeches, essays and lectures while appearing engaged.
  • Being able to bullshit through speeches, essays, lectures, and other such nonsense with out adequate preparation.
  • The ability to present your self as an authority on subjects in which you have little knowledge.
  • Being able to maintain eating, being clothed, and obtaining drugs with out an income.
  • The ability to browse porn at work or school undetected.
  • Knowing how to obtain and properly smoke marijuana. As well as how to identify different types and determine the quality and weight by observation alone. This includes a rigorous testing regimen that teaches one how verify that the price asked is reasonable and affordable. One must also demonstrate that one can break up the marijuana properly, taking care not to leave behind any stems or seeds, especially in the aforementioned body parts.
  • The ability to procrastinate effectively; that is, putting off large projects untill the very last day completing them with at least minimum pass-ability. This includes passing test that you study for immediately prior to taking.
  • The ability to tell if cocaine is good or not by sampling a small amount with their finger, how to cut a line (or series of lines), how to cook cocaine into crack, how to manufacture a crack pipe, how to smoke crack using such a pipe, and how to "accidentally" set oneself on fire in the process.
  • The ability to tie a tourniquet, prepare heroin properly, locate and penetrate a vein properly, and show that they know to untie the tourniquet before shooting up. One must also know the proper amount of cocaine to shoot and how to prepare it, using just the right amount of Tabasco™ sauce.
  • The ability to steal anything that is not nailed down without being detected. Students being edumacated should take acquire the ability to distinguish how much is too much to steal, what security looks like and the code words.
  • The ability to set fires properly, in a manner which ensures that the object being burned is burned completely and thoroughly, even if the object is student's own smoking corpse.
  • Being about to ramble off pickup lines that work (some of the times). This branch of edumacation is occasionally referred to as venusian artistry. Practitioners come to be called pickup artist, quite often over indulgence of this edumacated-skill set leads to cockary.
  • The ability to get elected to national office.
  • Knowing the ins and outs to conspiracy theories, ancient knowledge about the end of the world, global plots, cover-ups, UFO crashes, landings and abductions.

See Also

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