Edumacation

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An edumacated female homo sapian.

Edumacation is the process by which one becomes edumacated, the achievement of which is generally marked by a gradumacation ceremony. Edumacated people know a lot of things, though the process of how they came to know them remains a mystery.

[edit] Obtaining an edumacation

To obtain an edumacation, one must first become a "student" by enrolling at a school. Various types of schools exist, such as nursery school, high school, and college. Choosing which type of school to enroll in, based on the current stage of your edumacation, can be difficult. It is often tempting to want to reduce the amount of time spent in having yourself edumacated by "skipping" nursery school and high school, and immediately enrolling in a prestigious university (such as Uncycloversity). However, if you are male, this may decrease your likelihood of obtaining sex during your edumacation. Since many of the female students at your university will be older than you, it is unlikely that they would find you physically attractive. However, if you are female, this should be nothing to worry about.

[edit] Skills acquired

Being able to ignore long speeches, essays, lectures, and other such nonsense which spouts out of one's mouth.

Knowing the proper ways in which to smoke marijuana, as well as how to identify different types and determine the quality and weight by observation alone. This includes a rigorous testing regimen that teaches one how verify that the price asked is reasonable and affordable. One must also demonstrate that one can break up the marijuana properly, taking care not to leave behind any stems or seeds, especially in the aforementioned body parts.

How to procrastinate effectively; that is, putting off large projects untill the very last day and rush finish them while smoking cocaine, marijuana, herioin, or a combination of the three.

How to tell if cocaine is good or not by sampling a small amount with their finger, how to cut a line (or series of lines), how to cook cocaine into crack, how to manufacture a crack pipe, how to smoke crack using such a pipe, and how to "accidentally" set oneself on fire in the process.

How to tie a tourniquet, prepare heroin properly, locate and penetrate a vein properly, and show that they know to untie the tourniquet before shooting up. One must also know the proper amount of cocaine to shoot and how to prepare it, using just the right amount of Tabasco™ sauce.

The ability to steal anything that is not nailed down without being detected. Students must know how much is too much to steal, and ways to damage products in such a way that customers will buy the damaged products unknowingly and get a nice surprise when they get home.

The ability to set fires properly, in a manner which ensures that the object being burned is burned completely and thoroughly, even if the object is student's own smoking corpse.