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Edward "Out of the Closet" Murphy (born April 3, 1961) is an American stand-up comedian, actor, writer, singer, director, comedian, and sell-out. He was a funny guy in the '80s, but now makes anti-comedy movies like Pluto Nash, The Haunted Mansion, Norbit, Meet Dave, and other humor atrocities.
Known for his sexual prowess with women as long as they had a penis, Murphy became famous for starting the Transvestite Prostitute Chauffeur Service (T.P.C.S).
edit Early life
Eddie Murphy was born in 1962 in a farm just outside Brooklyn. His mother, Jackie Chan, met his father, Waka Flocka Flame, while selling her body for Whopper Juniors outside the local Burger King. Being the ever so generous yet unnaturally horny man he is, Waka Flocka traded an entire Whopper Extra Value meal in exchange for casual sex out back by the dumpster. Growing up, children used to call him "Little Miss Sunshine" due to the fact that he enjoyed dressing in drag and picking the petals off sunflowers while chanting, "He loves me, he loves me not."
Giving up on fate, Eddie decided to take his lovelife into his own hands. At the age of 17, Eddie moved to Queens to find true love. Instead, he inevitably found his way to the streets becoming a male prostitute specializing in "The Triple Tickler." His luck would soon change, though, after an important client made him an offer he could not refuse. In the summer of 2008, Eddie Murphy starred in the snuff film Meet Dave. On October 4, 2009, Murphy was named "The 10th Worst Actor of All Time".
edit Acting career
Early in his career, Murphy made/starred in genuinely funny movies and TV shows, like Saturday Night Live, Coming to America, Trading Places, and The Bus Is Going too Fast Man!. As of 1996, however, he has been making terrible family movies.
Murphy first starred in Jackson's production of Girl Interrupted, a story of a male prostitute trying to make it in the film industry. Many critics argue that the film was strikingly similar to Murphy's own biography, written in 1982 with a crayon. Girl Interrupted was critically panned and nominated for a total of 16 Golden Raspberry Awards.
Eddie decided he was no longer going to adhere to the fascists in charge of writing his scripts. He was sick of the filthy humor involved in each role he portrayed. After attending night school at Romanowski's School For The Blind, Murphy learned how to write award-winning family screenplays. His first work was named The Nutty Professor, and broke all previous box office records.
edit Murphy's Death
Shortly following the release of the Japanese version of Little Miss Sunshine, Murphy suffered a concussion while attempting the "Prancing Contortionist" position with Jackson during their weekly marital. After Jackson flipped Murphy over for the "Final Showdown," Murphy hit his head on Jackson's 100x marble replica of his own penis (Standing 1 foot tall). Jackson tried to fly Murphy to the nearest hospital on his back, but unfortunately was out of pixie dust. Jackson was forced to take him in his white Mazda Miata, but when reaching the hospital, Murphy was declared DOA.