Eddie Caputo
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[edit] Later life
When asked about what he did for a living Eddie Replied that he had never even done any solid work, he strived to become a pimp and rule the streets but due to Oscar The Grouch ruling the streets he was forced to retire. Eddie became a fan of Crysis and played it 24/7 and worked as a bun seed shiter. He had a relationship with Tom Cruise, Britney Spears, Luke Skywalker, Donnie Darko, Tom Cruise, Indiana Jones, and Tom Cruise. He blew himself up in an abandoned tenement which for some reason had gas and electricity. He was killed by Some 6 year olds doll. Wow. What a pussy.
[edit] Legacy
Eddie has no freaking legacy because no one gives a Shit about him. However Peter Jackson directed a movie based on his life in 2001. The title is Oh Shit! No Eddie don't leave me, God no!. It is 17 and a half hours long. The directors cut is 38 hours long with 60 hours of special features on 78 discs. However these discs are not available any where because they cost too fucking much to make! Currently a sequel is in development called "Eddie you fucking bastard! I'll kill you you son of a bitch!!!". This film in due for a 2015 release. It will be 135 Hours long and consist of Borat talking to eddie while holding a chicken. The dvd release is slated to have 90 discs full of bonus footage, this includes outtakes, a documentary, and a video made by the crew when they hid a camera in the bathroom.
[edit] After life
Eddie is now a crime fighting radioactive zombie fighting manbearpig along side Godzilla He lives with an undead Jewish girl named Apu. they can often be seen in the Louisiana bayou. It is said that Eddie has the power to appear anywhere at any time and to change anything he wants. I.E. Morgan Freeman. Eddie was buried on the bottom of mt. fuji so he could be closer to his loyal friend Godzilla. Upon realiizing Godzilla was nowhere to be found, Eddie killed the citizens of Japan and listened to Luciana by Juno Reactor. He is currently available on Xbox Live as xXEmoXxEddieXX. Please find and kill him on Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare.
[edit] Filmography
Over the years Eddie has been in many films, you were just unaware of it so experts have made an official list:
(1877), WTF?! as back round character number 57
(1911) The Great Gabbo as Mr. Scrot Umbridge((SCROTUM)BRIDGE)
(1791) Pass the mustard Gas As narrator
(1979) Requiem for a Dream (A.K.A. dundundundundun dundundundundundun da DA DAAA DAAAAAAAA)
(1978) One Flew Over The Caputo's Nest as Billy Ribbit
(1988) Child's Play as Himself
Many people question as to whether or not its possible to be in a movie made before you were born. Scientist have a responce to this: SHUT THE FUCK UP!
[edit] Terrorist and Evil activities
Eddie has been involved in terrorist activities since 1979. He is responsible for many infamous crimes such as Proposing the idea of PG-13 horror movies. He was caught by the cops in 1988 but escaped on the prison bus. Eddie claims that he and Charles "Chucky" Lee Ray were not commiting murders but instead Chucky was just getting Eddie a bagel. After his 2nd death as a radioactive zombie, scientist brought him back to life and put him in Shawshank Prison where he resides today. It is rumored that he is building a laser to destroy the moon with, the government has stated that they have already paid him $100,000,000,000 of their tax money in order to satisfy his demands.
