Ed, Edd n Eddy

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Ed, Edd n Eddy
Eds

Ed , Edd 'n Eddy

What it is Cartoon
Soap Opera
Creator Dan Aykroyd
Starring Matt Damon
Samuel L. Jackson
Tony Soprano
Who's running it Cartoon Network
How long is it half hour
No. of episodes 130
Would Oscar Wilde watch it? Yes.

Ed, Edd n Eddy was a show that aired on Cartoon Network, making it one of the channel's last good shows before all the crap came along. The show initially ended its run after four long seasons, but was renewed for two more after proving to be popular with teens. The show is rated TV-MA.

Premise

The show focuses on the lives of 12 children living in the fictional town of Peach Creek (aka: the Cul-De-Sac). The main stars of the show are three kids who have "Ed" in their names and are best friends. A typical episode involves them trying to scam the other kids for jawbreaker money, but these scams fail horribly every time and the Eds are left in some predicament that usually involves them getting their asses brutally kicked.

Cast

The Eds

Ed
Edbass
Ed, performing live with his band, "Rectal Waste".

An idiot with the same IQ as a moldy wedge of Port Salut. He often encounters difficulty in completing difficult tasks such as buttering toast, blinking and breathing, with his greatest achievement being getting himself dressed. Though he is good at being a woodpecker with dirt. He has a little sister who abuses him if he doesn't do what she bids of him.

Edd (Double D)
FlasherEdd
A drunken Edd flashes his lover.

A genius surrounded by total idiots. He's like MacGyver and can build stuff out of common household items. . He can calculate the distance from Earth to the sun down to nanometers just like that. For this reason, the neighborhood kids like him slightly more than the other Eds. His real pseudonym is Double Dick because he has a strange-looking growth on top of his head. He is always seen wearing a black ski hat to hide this shameful secret.

Eddy
Bhsurfers
Eddy with the Butthole Surfers.

The leader of the Eds and the Cul-De-Sac's resident prick, worse than any 12 year-old you'd hear on Xbox 360 Live. Eddy has an obsession with money and jawbreakers, mainly because jawbreakers look like dragon's eggs and, according to legend, eating them is considered to be good luck. Though this is clearly a lie for the fact that Eddy gets his ass kicked in pretty much every episode of the show.

Those Neighborhood Kids

Sarah
Angry-monkey
Sarah, throwing one of her regular tantrums.

Ed's loud and deranged little sister. Sarah is typically seen with her friend/bitch, Jimmy, the town's personal punching bag. Sarah loves Jimmy so much that she makes anyone who harasses Jimmy into her personal punching bag. The reality is that she looks and acts like a preteen slut. Oh and Jimmy is a dumbass.

Jimmy

The typical super-duper wimp of the Cul-De-Sac, who likes girly stuff and rides tricycles (of steel :D). In fact, one survey showed that most people who watch the show were confused as to whether Jimmy was actually a boy or just a girl whose parents were drunk when she was named. He is the town's personal punching bag who gets his ass kicked by the Eds, the Kids, the math club, the sewing club, chess team, the band, cheerleaders, the sports teams, and everyone else. Sarah is pretty much Jimmy's only friend. Besides Mr. YumYum, a stuffed bunny which was devouredand mutilated by Ed. Also, Jimmy once attended Super Mario Bros (behind the scenes or as a intern? that will remain a mystery), where he ate a mooshroom, becoming JIANT JIMMY. Then he annihilated 99.99999% of the City of Townsville (Yeah, It's a fucking town).

Johnny "2x4" and Plank

Jonny, as you may already know, is an annoying maniac who keeps piece of wood, Plank, as his only friend. Long ago, Jonny saved Plank from a woodchipper by putting his hand inside and grabbing him, that's how much Jonny loves him and how insane he really is. In addition, Jonny has a superherozero (Actually a villain >:-) alter-ego, Captain Melonhead. He always calls himself "Jonny" with no 'h' and adding a '2x4' to his name for some retarded reason. According to Johnny, Plank 'sees things'. In the big move, Jonny almost murdered Eddy, whereas the other fartknockers halted Jonny's assault. From that day on Jonny, in his nuclear silo (under the cul-de-sak) has been plotting to overthrow the regime in Peach Greek ,The place, where Ed, Edd n Eddy takes place in.

Rolf
Victorgoat
Rolf's goat, Victor, seen here attempting to force sex on Jimmy for educational purposes.

Rolf was born in some mysterious country where people talk in third person and celebrate retarded customs. Rolf owns a farm in his backyard where he keeps his pig Wilfred, and his goat, Victor. Like Johnny, he is not a normal person (not even in his own country) and many have questioned where Rolf is from, but Uncyclopedia has the answer (see here).

Nazz

The hot, sexy chick who has big boobs and was always in a good mood thanks to her prescription. She is the head cheerleader at Peach Creek Junior High, although she got kicked off of the team when she refused to shave her hairy legs or take off the implants that on her cleavage. For some reason, every guy that isn't gay or foreign in the neighborhood tries to get in bed with her. So far, only Eddy has been successful, after he scored at the end of the movie, but being such the ladies man he is he didn't seem to care that much.

Kevin
Henryfag
Kevin, dressed up as a pretty lady.

The local juggalo enemy fag and bully to others, he feels that picking on everyone will help even out his horrible life. The funny thing is that he picks on the Eds (whom are three best friends) and he has no friends himself, which is hilarious. His family owns a hybrid, which only makes matters worse for Kevin, because of this, the children constantly tease him and call him a "Activist's Bitch". He is known for calling people dorks. He is secretly a dork too, and a loser. He is butthurt and insecure. Just hates to admit it though.

The Kanker Sisters

White trailer trash bitches who are desperate and retarded enough to go for the Eds. They are bitches because they like basking in people's misery. The Kankers are known to immediately come out of nowhere and fuck the Eds. Literally, it's a quick way to end the show if the writers can't think of anything else. Lee Kanker is the boss bitch of The Kanker Sisters. A ginger with a New York accent. She sexually harasses Eddy every day of the week like her sisters do to the rest of the other Eds. Marie Kanker is the one with a crush on Double D and has blue hair (it's not dyed, but from a genetic mutation their father contracted after making love with a sewer creature without wearing a condom). May Kanker is that blonde-headed skank bitch who should have been hit by an 18-wheeler truck. She sexually harasses Ed, but also has a crush on Double D.

Eddy's Brother (Matthew McGee)
BRO
The big dickweed himself.

The mildly spoken about and the series’ “unseen” character, Eddy’s brother, appears in the series finale “Ed Edd n Eddy’s Big Picture Show” to reprise his role as the neighborhood pedophile, the reason why he took off and went to live at the Mondo-A-Go-Go amusement park. Although his younger brother, Eddy, had profusely praised the child molester throughout the series, the guy just proves to be a sociopathic white trash asshole who takes joy in torturing other white trash kids. In the series finale, the other kids saw how horribly Eddy's brother was molesting Edd, they fought back by having the door on his trailer slammed in his face. After that, Eddy's brother was finished off when he was molested by the Kankers.

Cancellation

Due to their tendency to cancel shows that are actually good, Danny Antonucci betrayed the network in 2007 and moved to Disney Channel on a 7-month contract, after which came back to CN to direct Big Picture Show. He was still pissed he got a $70 pay deduction. This has also left some fans wondering...how long before the spin-off?

Bouncywikilogo6
For those without comedic tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article very remotely related to Ed, Edd n Eddy.


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Ed, Edd n Eddy is part of Uncyclopedia's series on Mass Media.
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