Ed, Edd n Eddy
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| Ed, Edd n Eddy | |
Ed , Edd 'n Eddy | |
| What it is | Cartoon Soap Opera |
| Creator | Dan Aykroyd |
| Starring | Matt Damon Samuel L. Jackson Tony Soprano |
| Who's running it | Cartoon Network |
| How long is it | 1 hour |
| No. of episodes | I don't know. Do you? |
| Would Oscar Wilde watch it? | Yes. |
Ed, Edd n Eddy was a cartoon that aired on the Cartoon Network. It focused on the lives of 12 children during the summer of 1999, and took place in an unknown place. The main stars, who are all named Ed, tried to scam their peers for jawbreaker (Gobstopper for you far, far superior Brits) money. The show initially ended it's run after four long seasons, but was renewed for two more after proving to be popular with hoboes.
Contents |
[edit] Cast
[edit] The Ed Boys
[edit] Ed
A "dumb-as-wood" child, with the same amount of hygiene as a typical anime cosplayer. A mutant colony is forming inside his head. He is really really strong, and I mean REALLY REALLY strong, probably the strongest person in the entire universe. He can lift houses and break through walls just like that, and has supposedly lifted Rosie O'Donnell. He also has the ability to summon an invisible demon named Jib. Ed is proven to be 110% stupid, and often encounters difficulty in completing difficult tasks such as buttering toast, blinking and breathing. His greatest achievement is getting himself dressed. He plays bass for the crossover thrash band, Rectal Waste. He puts Cliff Burton, Billy Gould, Shane Embury, whoever is playing bass for the Melvins at this very moment (he's only been in the band for a few seconds), and Victor Wooten to shame with ease. He recently ran for president with Grim as his running mate, and inexplicably won. He also succeeded in winning re-election.played by chuck norris[1] [1]
[edit] Double D
A genius surrounded by total fucking idiots. He's like Macguyver and can build shit out of common household items. His intelligence stems from drinking the liquefied corpse of a Schrödinger's cat and he also keeps another one for a pet. The hair is not what is under his hat, but a wig he started wearing to keep warm during the winter. He does not want others to know about it because if the truth was known, Jonny would likely steal it from him and super glue it around his dick so he could simulate having pubic hair. If he were to inhale a certain amount of germs, it could kill him. He can calculate the distance from Earth to the Starship Voyager down to nanometers just like that. He sometimes does guest steel guitar for Rectal Waste but has never been credited on their albums.played by Eminem[2]
[edit] Eddy
Eddy is worse than every 12 year old you'd hear on Xbox Live. One time his whole family was on the hit TV show Family Feud but they lost because Eddy got the last question wrong, which was about "What are popular video game characters" and he answered "Sonic" but it wasn't on the list but Pikachu was. There were 4 answers, one was Mario, the other Luigi, the other Link, the other Pikachu. Eddy started taking acid after that and became a Butthole Surfer. He has damaged vocal chords from all of his yelling and screaming, which puts Seth Putnam of Anal Cunt to shame. One time Eddy tried to ditch school, which was a complete disaster because Jonny came with them and accidentally pissed his pants because he got scared. The piss got all over Eddy, who was steering the plane of escape, and the piss also got all over the plane, which caused it to crash right back into the school. Played by Adam Sandler. ===Those Other Buttknockers===
[edit] Sarah
Typical little sister bitch. She is also part of a secret chimp foghorn race. She's really strong, but not as strong as her brother Ed, but she can still lift heavy objects like cars. To shut her up, you must rip her vocal chords out. Eddy ripped Sarah's mouth off once but strangely, an x-gene suddenly materialized in her genetic make-up and she developed a healing factor like Wolverine.played by Sarah Palin[3]
[edit] Jimmy
The typical uber gay person in the neighborhood, who likes girly stuff and rides trycicles. In fact, one survey showed that most people who watch the show were confused as to whether he was a boy or just a girl whose parents were drunk when she was named. His favorite food is plums, because sometimes they look like moogle testicles. Once he met the Super Mario Bros. and ate a mushroom and became JIANT JIMMY where he crushed the City of Townsville. He gets beaten up by the sewing club, chess team, cheerleaders, and..well.. EVERYONE at school.played by Simon Cowell[4]
[edit] Rolf
Many have questioned where Rolf is from, but Uncyclopedia has the answer. Rolf was born in Dusseldorf and that is why they call him Rolf. He wants to bulldoze Kevin's house to build a restroom for his Nana. Once he was turned into a weiner. He also wrote the Top 40 Folk Hit, "That's My Horse", which stayed on the charts for 7 months, and was perfomed by The Beach Boys. Rolf however, was not credited for writing the song. Rolf can beat people up with fish. In his country, it is a custom to masturbate every single day, in front of everyone.played by Adolf Hitler[5]
[edit] Johnny
Typical lonely loser, with a piece of wood as his best friend. Jonny once traveled to China where Plank almost got turned into chopstiks. Plank was drawn on by Crayola Crayons. The lost city of Atlantis lies inside his nose. Jonny once got nude and ran around booty naked, like the damn, filthy hippy that he is and made out with Jimmy while choking his chicken.played by Benedict XVI[6]
[edit] Nazz
Your all around stuck up, teenage, wannabe, Paris Hilton bitch. She was once on Oprah to lose weight. She is the head cheerleader at Peach Creek Junior High, although she got kicked off of the team when she refused to shave her hairy legs. For some reason, every guy that isn't gay in the neighborhood tries to get in bed with her. So far, only Edd has been successful, even getting to nail her on the dance floor.Paris Hilton (Person)[7]
[edit] Kevin
A bully to others because his parents molest him, so he feels that it evens things out if he picks on Eddy. He bought his bike from the bike store "Bike Mania" but the clerk was a real dick cheese, so he stole the bike and then the police were after him and he was sent the juvie. There, he made friends with Jack Spicer from Xiaolin Showdown, and they became best friends and decided to make a bowling team. This bowling team needed 2 more people so they got Billy from The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy, and Dexter from Dexter's Laboratory. They got high scores, but Dexter didn't do so well so they replaced him with Chowder. Later, they all got a trophy and smiled for a picture, when the bowling alley collapsed on them. Kevin was sent to hell, but he was given a second chance. But when he was revived, he was hit by a large bowling bowl and got amnesia, so he couldnt remember what had happened. He has a secret collection of spandex bike shorts. He likes to take showers in the boys locker room so he can look at Rolf's weiner.played by Jerry Springer[8]
[edit] The Kanker Sisters
White trash bitches who are desperate enough to go for the Eds. They are bitches because they have three gay fathers. Because of this, they started to fall in love with any bitch they saw and soon ended up killing their fathers and gave their sex robes to the Ed's. This has led to the Kankers having an unusually large bush and no boobs. AND they are often used as plot devices in the show when the Eds are getting their way. The Kankers immediately come in and fuck everything up, including the Eds. Literally. It's a quick way to end the show if the writers can't figure out any other way to end it.played by every body from KISS[9]except Eric Singer
[edit] The Mime Trio
There are 3 brothers that are called the Mime Trio, named Vernon, Alex, and David. They like to do mime stuff, like pretend to be in an invisible box. Many people don't believe that they are in the show, but they are always offscreen, just like the adults in season 5. And you never hear from them because they're mimes, and everybody knows Mimes can't speak! So they're actually in every single episode, you just can't see them or hear them. They also love football.played by ?[10]
