Ecuador
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edit History
File:I.idnes.cz/07/034/maxi/OB1a0779 teletubbies 01.jpg
It is said that Ecuador was created after God [1] had a terrible hangover. In fact, it is said that he was hanging out with the nuns from "La Isla del Tesoro" Monastery.
To be honest, this country is so irrelevant that it doesn't have a History, it actually steals the history of other countries and make it its own. The same happens with its music, where every musician is a "virtuoso", because they actually know how to change their guitar strings, and the use of an amplifier if needed.
edit Population
Ecuadorians are an Ehrlich-ian ticking time bomb. The current population of over nine-thousand. Very depressed people. Is in severe danger of outgrowing the national production of bananas and potatoes, the country's two staple crops. If this happens, then there will be no way for the people of Ecuador to fulfill their daily recommended intake of potassium - I mean - it is not like Latin Americans eat lots of fish, avocados, beans, or brazil nuts. Tough luck! :P
They are affectionately known as Monos (Monkeys) by their better off neighbors, due to their striking resemblance to the common monkey in both facial structures and body hair. Their big feet are envied by the Colombians for the ability to crush more coca leaves than a normal human foot, therefore they often find work in cocaine processing.
In Ecuador, there are people that do NOT know the meaning of "sober"... They all share the last name " Pérez"....
Notable residents of Ecuador include "La Papa", and Natadia. La Papa gained popularity for her notable ugliness and her constant feuds with Natadia. Natadia became the first woman with Botox in her neck.
Ecuadorians tend to leave the country to find work available. One lucky Ecuadorian fathered the likes of Christina Aguilera, and another man fathered Raquel Welch whose real last name is Tejada. FACT! Anchor babies...go figure.
edit Immigrant Population
Most of their names are Rodriguez. motto: If he's got an "ezz sounding" name he is an illegal immigrant. More recently a new phase of immigration to the country has arrived. Several "Gappers" and "backpackers" - so called for their expertise in packing pygmies into small boxes and by having large spaces between their teeth, have invaded the country, attempting to save the world by "teeching ingerlish" and "invyronmental studies" to unfortunate primary school children.
Soon after the influx of gappers, students protested at the terrible conditions they had to put up with. Memorable quotes (translated from Spanish) include, "She couldn't even teach me the word for c**t in English" and "She was only here to steal my government supplied vitamin biscuits every Friday", along with "I thought Ingerlish people wore boe ties" and "Can't we bring back that yank bitch from last term - at least she spoke spanish" or they call it castellano, but they speak it wrong.
The Ecuadorian government, tried to intervene, but were unusually corrupted by the bribes paid by organisations such as GAP AROUND THE WORLD IN 80 DAYS and GLOBAL CHALLENGTH who charged each gapper £4000 or $6,0000000 (current conversion £ to US$ Dec 2007) to teach english as a foreign language.
Currently the situation has yet to be resolved, and many gappers have written home to Mummy and Pops for more bribery money so that they can continue to improve the education of these schoolkids in English, by the modern method of "preventing them from learning how to spell in Spanish". Meanwhile, they eat tapas and fancy cocktails in downtown Quito, or shop in Quicentro - the world's largest Quiche Factory.
edit History
The child of Peru and Colombia, but they don't like their parent countries. The equator crosses their nation where they got their namesake and being in the highlands, it's no wonder it's so hot...and the sun burns white people in 5 minutes! They are remnants of a rich advanced Amerindian-"thinking" Incan civilization, but today their mestizo-"high yellow" cholo descendants are poor and uneducated.
Ecuadorians first appeared in the early 50s. Their only way of transportation was llamas. They also had a few prostitutes. Sadly, the Spanish took them in the 70s. The Ecuadorians are also know for ....... nothing.
Lonely Ranger and Tonto discovered Ecuador in 1875, but they couldn`t care less about it. The local tribe known as Ecuations, led by Tukan the First, fought with the two North American Conquerers, but they lost. After that lots of people were born in Ecuador, but the World doesn`t know about any of them, well except Lorena Bobbit.
In Ecuador there was a Chinese guy called Young Been Cho. When he came everyone got a disease called YBCIG, it means Young Been Cho is gay. He was too gay that no one wanted to fuck him, so he had to pay the guy so he fucks him. Then Young Been Cho created a computer on his own too play Tibia in Riocentro, but he sucked at it. His computer was called DELL. For more information go to Dell.
Another famous Ecuadorian goes by the name of Marcos Henrich. He is currently in Massachusetts indoctrinating the Daughters of the American Revolution to eat with their feet. High five! :D
The first president of Ecuador was Lorena Bobbit, in 1666. She brought great advances to Ecuador during her government, such as scissors, trains and iPhones. During her third year of government, the Ecuadorian revolution arose. Lorena Bobbit was taken away from the Carondelet palace, imprisoned in the Quicentro (a prison dating to the Inca times). Her children were taken away, her husband was beheaded and six months later, she was tied to a rock and thrown into the Machangara river (this was, of course, before it was polluted). Ecuador claims all the Amazon River, even though they lost the land to their nemesis Peru and the rubber plantation owners: Brazil.
On present times, Ecuador is under an Absolute Monarchy ruled by the Mae family. The queen is Bertha Shaquafafa Mae Mae Mae Jeffrey Pazmiño Patiño Triviño Petrucci, , by the Grace of God, Dowager Ecuadorian Queen; Queen of Pichincha, of Azuay, of Chimborazo, of Tabacundo, of Tena, of Napo, of Zamora Chinchipe, etc; Archduchess of Pujili; Duchess of Cumbaya, of el Cajas, of Papayacta and of Baños; Grand Princess of Ambato; Margravine of Cuenca; Duchess of Riobamba, of Otavalo, of Bahia, of Chone, of Chunchi, of Upper and Lower Quito, of Guayaquil, of Ilalo, of Parma, of Piacenza, of Guastalla, of Auschwitz and of Zator; Princess of Swabia; Princely Countess of Habsburg, of Flanders, of Tyrol, of Hennegau, of Kyburg, of Gorizia and of Gradisca; Margravine of Burgau, of Upper and Lower Lusatia; Countess of Namur; Lady on the Wendish Mark and of Mechlin; Dowager Duchess of Lorraine and Bar, Dowager Grand Duchess of Loserland. Her royal residence is built at 3.3 kilometers to the north-west of Latacunga, where she resides and governs. Part of her royal court include the Pirannha Duchess, the Caiman Count and the Princess Dragon. Ecuador does not really have an immigrant population due to the fact that it is sami-poor and because they only eat bananas and potatoes so they cannot cultivate enough food to feed their population nevertheless immigrants.
“"I've never met a queen with such an ugly voice, she sounds like a man!" !”
edit Geology
The geology of Ecuador could be described as quite hilly, or good for hiding Inca treasures inside. Ecuador is famous for several Volcanoes and famous mountain peaks, including the Volcano Cotopaxman at 33m in height, named after Jeremy Paxman, the infamous British Newsreader who once ate an Ecuadorian banana. The Volcano Chimbonda at 34m (this volcano ate slightly more beans as a child than Cotopaxman) is named after Pascal Chimbonda, a Tottenham Football player famous for playing for a shit team and once the discoverer of this volcano after he stuck his head out of a boeing 747 on the way home to Guadalope.
The galapagos islands are also very stealthy and are created by the explosive diarrhea of massive sea urchins that live on the sea floor. The composition of the rock this creates has the composition of Smarties - a popular British snack to eat at the theatre.
Famous geologists to have studied Ecuador include:
- Michael Barrymore
- Enrique Inglesias
- Venessa Feltz
- Moira Stewart
- Dame Vera Lynn
- Indiana Jones
- Shakira
- Christina Aguilera
- Mike Judge, creator of Beavis and Butthead was said to be born there.
- BOB SAGET!
- Chuck Norris
- Lorena Bobbit
- Yo' Mama
- And anyone you don't give a fuck about
edit See also
- Lexxie
- South America
- Christina Aguilera
- Hell
- Cocaine
- Sudden death
- Walter Iraheta "Cock dealer"
- Emilio "Steves Papi"
- Britney Spears
 | Central America and South America |
| Central: Belize | Costa Rica | El Humidor | Guatemala | Honduras | Kittenolivia | Nicaragua (en español) | Panama | Panama Canal Zone | |
| South: Argentina (en español) | Bolivia | Brazil (em português) | Republic of Bulimia | Cat Nation | Catspace | Chile (en español) | Colombia (en español) | Easter Island | Ecuador (en español) | Falkland Islands | French Guiana | Galapagos Islands | Guyana | Locombia | Paraguay | Peru (en español) | Seahorsia | Suriname | Uruguay (en español) | Vergüenzuela (en español) |
