Ecstasy
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MDMA (Mentally Dioxin Mental Amphetamine) is a chemical substance found in sea cucumbers that grow around the island of Ibiza. As a drug, one can only witness its effects by taking it in pills or in powder form, since one would have to eat approximately 462 sea cucumbers for a good roll (but thats how the aborigines of the island of Ibiza used to do it thousands of years ago; they also happened to be the creators of the musical genre known today as "trance"). It is known as 'madman' by its addicts, also known as Badgers, Red-Pill / Blue-Pill, Ketzal Ken, Sprees, Chuflas, Disko biskits, Pastis, That stuff that makes trance music seem way less shittier, Super-Berocca, Smarties, Sweeties,Yolks, Im Gonna Hug Everyone,pangs, Pinger, the chemical, E-Pill, Wally's Squills, [Skittles]], [Smarties]], [Nurofen]], Feel Goods, Happiness, Juker, Damsel In Distress,Electric Mambonator, Jill's Pill, Scooby snacks, Flippers, Discs, Yokes, Wingers, googs, zoomers, "Mr.X", triangles,007,rolls royce, XTC, and Suzan?. Commonly used at Family Reunions by White Trash, and at formal European dances known as Randome Awesome Ventriloquist Epilepsies or "RAVEs".
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[edit] Origin
The origin of ecstasy is unknown, since every single country in the world claim themselves to be the origin of ecstasy. The Great League of Scientists say that the origin is Austria, since they found the first ecstasy plant and an addict named Arnold Schwarzenegger, whose reputation for making decent movies died along with the dinosaurs. Investigations continue without any success, due to no one giving a damn and just getting mashed on eckies!.
[edit] Effects
The effects of MDMA can be summarised briefly using the formula; 
.
To dumb that down, it gets you fucked. Your pupils will blow up, your cock will shrivel and you'll wanna dance with some random fat slut that you feel like you are in love with.
[edit] Some real info, from a real person, that has actually done this shit
Methylenedioxymethamphetamine is the bullshit scientific name. It makes you all happy, make out with complete strangers, makes you realise techno isn't shitty, contrary to popular belief. Another common side effect is telling people your life story without them even asking or even remotely giving a shit. Normally you can pick them up for between £0.50 and £5 a pill, if you pay any more than that, you got bumped.
[edit] Hitler
It is now widely accepted that Hitler's suicide was the cause of an overdose of ecstasy. Albert Einstein had traveled back in time and given Hitler an extreme dose of the shit. Hitler approached his main man Theodore Logan and said, "Blue sounds like Dogs Barking at me". He Proceeded to put all his clothes on backwards so that he would "have eyes in the back of his head" after which he took out his Luger and insisted that it was Saturday and he didn't have to clean his room. The rest, as they say, is history.
[edit] Dangers
“Wait, this is the drug that actually makes you enjoy house music?”
~ Ali G on ecstasy
“you'll have shit sticking out of your back like a dinosaur”
~ Eminem on ecstasy
“Does ecstasy make you horny, baby?”
~ Austin Powers on ecstasy
“Yes, it does.”
~ Article on ecstacy
I need Some "E" Right now feeling like an Emo Call The ETC Police (ANGEL Padilla)
“Cinayet işleyen göt de verir!”
~ Pöcük on ecstasy
“I highly recommend it.”
~ CEO of Wrigley's
“All I want is Ecstasy, but I ain't getting much.”
~ Keith Richards and Mick Jagger
MDMA use, particularly at all-night parties known as dingaling fests, can cause death and sore cheeks( but not always in that order) unless the user consumes sufficient quantities of vodka, perferably store bought. Some "sausage goers," however, have erred by drinking too much vodka, without having the decency to do so with a girl, resulting in the death of your heterosexuality. MDMA may also lead to hot sex which has been proven fatal. It has been proven by Oprah Winfrey, that temperatures can exceed to 137 degrees celcius, which cause death from both her soggy vagina (wheaties) and also hyperthermia.
Other dangers include waking up naked in a church, rekindling relationships with people you don't really care about, confessing your undying love for someone you just met, stumbling upon the meaning of life and then forgetting it, and coming down like a bag of bricks.
Also, be aware the MDMA will make shitty techno seem like the best thing you've ever heard, and may lead to dangerous levels of earnestness. Plus there is the issue of dancing like a total prick.
Other dangers include being so wasted that you find it nescessary to eat someones mother. This is known as being a cunt. Eventually, constant use of ecstacy in conjunction with MariJUHunannah, may cause random acts of insanity and dimb-whittedness. However, the use of marijuana paired with ecstasy can lead to a greater sense of worthiness and knowledge, studies say. Many X addicts have higher SAT scores than regular boredom fulfilled nerds.
It may lead you to:
Expect TOO MUCH for free-
“When's the food and drugs coming?”
~ McShifty on ecstasy
Think too highly of yourself-
“How about we have an arm wrestle?”
~ Roberto William Rogers on ecstasy
Go completely insane-
“FUCK I need more pills. ME NEED PILL!”
~ McShifty and Roberto William Rogers have both said the same thing on more than 1 occation on ecstasy
But the dangers go far beyond McShifty and Roberto pulling those crazy antics. One such danger is extreme forgetfulness such as forgetting to not walk off the roof of a building.
“I forgot to use protection.”
MDMA can cause you to desire sex with animals, lamp posts, mailboxes, and nerds. It inhibits your ability to cum allover your grandmother's face while watching her knit your socks. People on E often make connections with pictures of a snakes heads buried in your moms vagina and the rest of its body squirming about as she screams in pain and disgust.
[edit] Fun Facts
- The Matrix Has you-(Neo)<a href="http://photobucket.com/images/matrix%20code" target="_blank"><img src="
" border="0" alt="matrix Pictures, Images and Photos"/></a>
- Ecstasy can kill. (if you are a complete idiot)
- Ecstasy use in conjunction with a USB to Brain cable allows free access to The Matrix, until level 35 at which point you will incur a monthly fee.
- +5 Agility vs Stoners
- Ecstasy, when taken in combination with asparagus, tastes plain awful.
- -5 Charisma vs Tweakers
- All MDMA users gain God status if they have used it for 12 years. Unfortunately, MDMA is lethal if constantly used in a 10 month period.
- The majority of international mobile 'phone carriers have now abandoned MDMA in favour of the GSM standard, except in North America where chaos still rules the air.
- The Shamen wrote a whole song about ecstacy, called Ebeneezer Goode. It got to number one in 1992.
- It don't hurt nobody, but my body. Nobody but my body gets hurt with this
- -5 Perception, +5 Luck, +2 Strength, +10 Senses, +1 Dancing Skillz, -20 Appetite. Addiction chance: 75%
- "Roughly 80% of the Ecstacy in circulation is either fake or will make you violently sick" Ecstacy dealers' sales pitch.
[edit] Regional Facts
- Germany- 64% of public voted for legalization, but the Prime minister over ruled the vote, because in the weekend leading up to the Vote, she was sold pure Caffeine pills.
- Uganda- 100% of shamans voted ecstasy real dope!
- Sweden- The government allows police officers to handout ecstacy to all violent drunk people.
- United Kingdom- The government Reclassified ecstasy to safe while watching harry potter under the influence, ecstasy along with cannabis can be bought in most sweet shops and also come free with the popular McStonned or McBuzzin meal at McDonlds!
- Enniskillen- 68% of fermanagh herald readers claim to have snorted horsey madoka (a combination of MDMA, cocaine, and ketamine) before their sunday lunch on a regular basis
