Economic Collapse Barbie™
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1) Malibu Barbie Trailer: There's nothing more exhilarating than the freedom of the open road and the thousands of square miles of unattended state parks and unincorporated land. Our Malibu Barbie™ is saving up for her big break in acting so the rent-free life suits her well for right now. Accessories include a Sleeping bag, Kerosene lamp, Spaghettios and a can opener!
2) Malibu Barbie's South Central Dream Attic: Some girls just want to have fun, so living in a large city like Los Angeles is a dream for the social butterfly. With all those high housing costs, the frugal Malibu Barbie saves money by renting an attic in an old Victorian house! And look, you've got two friends already! Chantal & Latrice™ (included) are your new downstairs neighbors and you'll be seeing a lot of them every day. There's always excitement in the big city! Accessories include smoke alarm, rental contract, baseball bat and deadbolt lock.
3) Foreclosure Bargain Barbie: A Barbie girl is a get-up and go kind of gal and knows a bargain when she sees it. There's plenty of foreclosed homes available to buy and improve for a substantial profit when the housing market comes back. There she is with tools in hand, ready to make lemonade out of someone else's lemons. That's just Barbie! She can't help it! Accessories include "NO TRESPASSING" signs, weed whacker, screwdriver and hammer.
4) Career Change Barbie: Well, her career as a graphic artist didn't pan out quite as expected but that's OK! With so many baby boomers retiring and needing home health care aides, hospice and hospital services, there's plenty of jobs for a go-getter like Barbie. Career Change Barbie™ is busy doing 18 hour shifts as an intern, emptying bedpans and disposing of other medical wastes. There she is in her single bedroom apartment! There's not much left to do after a long shift except wash your coffee cup in the bathroom sink and stare blankly into space! Barbie knows she's doing an important job so the complete lack of a social life doesn't bother her at all, she's a hero! Accessories include Coffee mug, hair dryer, box of hair dye and an assortment of DooDaDs™ to clip in her hair!
5) Repo Barbie and Pregnant Teen Chastity: There's tough times out there for a lot of people, even Barbie. Repo Barbie™ is a single, unemployed mother who's doing the best she can to keep as many of her belongings from being repossessed as possible. She's just finished convincing Ralph the Crazy Repo Guy™ (included) to not take her brass bed. There's not much left but at least she still has her house! Oh look! there's Pregnant Teen Chastity™! Maybe she can convince Ralph to unload a few things off the truck and bring them back into the house! He might just be a pregophile, you never know! Accessories include a Sunday paper, a phone book, a pizza menu, a pack of cigarettes and an ashtray!
6) Living With Mom Barbie: In these modern times, it's all about being environmentally friendly and having a caring attitude about the earth. Living With Mom Barbie™ is a young twenty-something who just wants to help reduce her carbon footprint by moving back in with mom! It's a great idea! You can call it housepooling! As long as there's no jobs available Barbie can live with mom, who's fresh off her 50 year anniversary, until better times come back. It's all about Think Pink and Live Green!®™ Accessories include a little black book, a flower, sunglasses and a bong!
|Poo Lit Surprise-Winning Article|
This article was chosen as the 1st Place in Best Illustrated Article Category in the 7th Poo Lit Surprise writing competition.