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Kuban Kommie Republik
|Motto: "STASI is Watching You"|
|Anthem: "Kommie, kommie, über alles"|
DDR 2.0 location: We Are Back! Resistance Is Futile
|Capital||Berlin, Hauptstadt der DDR|
|Official language(s)||German and, after 1990, Spanish|
|‑ Prime Minister||Raúl Castro|
|"Ehrrr.. Komrade USSRia, can we be independent?"|
|Area||The one behind the Iron Curtain|
East Germoney, offically Die So-called German Democratic Republic, was an Eastern European country and, until October 7, 1990, a Caribbean state and resort island kindly offered by Fidel Castro. The GDR, DDR, or 2PAC, was the strongest Germany in Germankindmannschaft History: the only one able of not losing territories, conquering an "Oversea Country" (A French way to call, and mock, its colonies) in the Americas, conquering the Space, defeat itself into a World Cup, duplicate its cool capital city and... Vanish in a night without the help of David Copperfield or Harry Houdini. Oh Wie Ist Das Schön!!!
Is there anybody going to listen to my story
All about the German Commie State?
It's the kind of state you want so much it makes you sorry
Still, you will regret a single day
Ah Bärl... East Bärl...
When I think of all the times I tried so hard to leave it
STASI turn to me and make me sweat
And it promises the space to me and I believe it
After all this time I don’t know why
Ah Bärl... East Bärl...
East Germany, named Central Germany by German nationalists, Western Poland by Polish nationalists, and Søuthårn Denmark after World War III; lies... Yes, he lies about his true location. So, we don't know where the Ossies are.
Lying about the size, DDR crumbled its federal states to create the Bezirke, so we have: 14 districts, 1 special city, 1 nobody-cares-islet.. For a total of 16, as the current German Länder! Fuck yeah!
edit STASI is watching you
Contrarily to what the Capitalist Pigods' propaganda said, ossie politics favored pluralism. Within the "(Not-French) National Front", led by the SED (Socialist Unity Party of Germany), you should choose any kind of ideology, thanks to this puppet co-working and useless friendly parties:
- CDU: Christian Democratic but Actually Commy Union of Germany (Now Merkel-Free!)
- LPDP: Liberal Democratic Capitalist but Actually Commy Party of Germany
- NDPD: National Democratic Nazi but Actually Commy Party of Germany
- DBD: Democratic and Commy Farmers' Party of Germany
So, choose your party, take your "Spreewald Cucumber" ice cream while walking through our safe city park, and remeber: be a loyal citizen! Because: if in Soviet Russia you watch the STASI... We are not in Russia, so stay up and don't touch the wall. Socialist greetings.
edit Heads of State
|Wilhelm Prick||1949–1960||SED, of course||In office with Johannes Dick-Man as acting predecessor and acting successor|
|Walter Ull-your-bricks-are-belong-to-us||1960–1973||SED, I said||Built the Berlin Wall. Him, personally, with his bare hands!|
|Will Stop||1973–1976||Always SED||Willi who? The one in office after the acting president Friedrich Ebert Jr.! Who?|
|Evil Honeycker||1976–1989||SED, no doubts!||All in all it's just another brick in the wall|
|The Purple Witch Project||1976–1989||SED, SED!||The most beloved person in DDR by her husband|
|Egon Crab||1989–1989||SAD||Yes, he's actually Egon Spengler|
|Manfred Der Last||1989–1990||LPDP, sort of SED||Just the time to gain a picture of a Wikipedian list|
(actually Helmut Kohl)
|1990–1990||CDU||Did You Know? ... that the last Supreme Soviet of the GDR was |
|Sigmund Jähn||1990–∞||SED 2.0||Just in Alex Kerner's wet dreams|
|Herr Fiedel Carsten||1990–2008||PCC||“Yes, am German and the Vorsitzender des Staatsrats. ¿Is there any problem?”|
|Herr Radulf Carsten||2008–now||PCC||“¿Am I German too, bro?”|
Ossies invented the "Capital City With a Foreign Walled Country Inside" (sort of matryoshka), but they're pat pending because it seems that somebody did the same in a central slum of Rome 33 years before. Anyway Ossies invented... Huh... TRABI: DAS AUTO.™ And now, follwing the law of synergies among the bangers, try the Trabant-Microsoft! Hurry up!
edit See also
- For those without comedic tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article very remotely related to East Germany
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