Eadweard Muybridge

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You may be looking for Eadweard Muybridge, Zoopraxographer and not even know it!

Muybridge building his first camera, codenamed "tank"

Eadweard "Eat Weird" Muybridge, commonly known as the guy at the end of the bar, was a brilliant photographer, animator and a dirty pervert. He lived from February 31, 1830 to the same day in 1830 (coincidence right?). Eadweard Muybridge was born in Bobo-Dioulasso, Burkina Faso. He spent his whole life in animation (even before birth!) and the end result of his hard work was a few pictures of a midget on a horse. Disappointed with his little achievement in life, he surrendered himself to the cannibals of Chonga Island, in the Chonga Sea. His remains were found several hours after his death, in a toilet.

edit Early Life

Muybridge Buffalo galloping

Muybridge had a fascination with bison's "parts" as they were running.

Muybridge life really started when he changed his name from Booloogoolong Haboolooloo, to the name which we know him from today. He was now treated like a person and not just "some guy who smokes weed and has a funny name". As a young boy in Burkina Faso, Muybridge liked to watch bull's parts "jiggle" as they were running. This fascination led Muybridge to a photographic career in which he took a series of pictures to see how certain "parts" moved during a Bison's escape from a guy with a gun.

Later on in his life this fascination with bouncing/jiggling parts on animals led to photos of sperm-whales and your mum, often in the same scene (with your mum and her parts balancing on the whale's).

Muybridge was also the first person on earth to discover that if you got into the shower with all your clothes on and you turned the tap as far as it will turn, no water comes out.

edit "Gangsta" Phase


Muybridge in his gangsta phase.

Mubridge's photographic journey stopped breifly when he entered his teen years. He dropped photography completely and decided to be a professional gangsta. Muybridges was first tempeted to become a gangsta when he was asked to do a photo shoot showing the stages in which a typical gangster would smoke crack, get high, and then lose six buddies in a "tangle" with police. Muybridge immidiately became "addicted" to the gangsta lifestyle (crack may have had something to do with it too). During this dark (except when on crack) period of Muybridges life, he would frequently drive down the streets of Los Angeles Bobo-Dioulasso in his expensive car shootin' down rivals with his expensive machine gun. Eventually Muybridge grew out of this lifestyle. While on an escape from the cops, Muybridge saw a horse crapping on the street, immediately he dropped being a gangsta and set out to find how a horse really did it's business (a lifelong dream).

edit Second Phase

By this time Muybridge had become so drunk from his own power that his hair changed colour and grew 3x in size. After this he went to be a contestant on the price is right. It just so happened that the host was Vegeta and then there was an epic battle. The winner of this battle claimed the ultimate prize of the Space Penis pokemon, Palkia.

edit Photographic Achievements

By far Muybridge's greatest achievement was showing the world how the horse did its business, how a horse reacted when nature called, how a horse went through with a bowel movement, or, in plain English/Polish, how a horse crapped.

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