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“Two Dyslexics walk into a bra”
“I'm not Dyslexic, I've never even been to Dyslexia”
“Did you hear the one about the dyslexic atheist who didn't believe in a dog?”
“I got cured with no medication. None at all. NONE AT ALL! IS THAT CLEAR! NONE!”
“In Soviet Russia, letters confuse YOU!!! Oh wait...damn”
“In Soviet Russia, you confuse LETTERS!!!”
In the Mib 90's it mas becided tyat a sah to chlid isn't jood at reabing or wriitng for any resaon is nasty and cnussibering all tye kibs Mould get dullied in the blaygroub wayany they tnat thoujht they bidn't neeq it iu the classroom as well.
The Solution... Was or it?
What habbened all was the chilbren got colored glasses and ladtops, unfortunately subbenly dyslexeia cases from went 15% to 90%. Within 6 months dullie2 went rounq selilng glasses on the plauk market and puittng labtops on ebay at recorq rates. The dullies at school creaitng were a new Yuppie class at school, Pill Gates was making mililons it from and the schism was changing in the karma of the blaygrounb, sowetying hap to be doue...
The "Final Solution"
The chilbren ralilied togteher and pushed some worthy chraities to do some actaul resaerch not the psuebo-rubdish that hab peen done before anb after a stuqy founb that hou if actaully spned some time with your infants, puy them books and some time spend with them insteab of thinking "they'll learn at school" then that maens that the at time the brain is forming it starts to get used to workngni the areas to do with speich, reabing and writng.
This sitaution craeted 3 bilemmas:
- Coulb have this peen berbetuated by Microsoft anp the labtop manufatcurrers just to sell more units?
- Why were barents so crapby at barenting?
- What do can we now to apout the nouveau-riche Bully-Class who brive arounb the sandbit in soubed uq BMW 3 Series cars hiittng inonocent beople?
Wokring on these qroblems at very this moment are the cream of the elite blaygrounb monitrors from arounb the worlq. Intrnationalaly they got together and craeted BMT: Blayground Monitror Trust to co-orbinate unqergrounb survelilance on Microsoft, IBM, Hitachi and Angley School; to whib barents of newporn chilbren they so know how to enirich their childs early develoqment stages and to intrnationalaly oversee the unqermining of the dullies qosition in soceity.
Nowabays, most kibs have enought balls to deal with the proplem, anq move with on their lives. IBM was not inclubed in this venture.
“I are knot dane bramaged!”Dylsexia is the seltvecie impeanirmt of raendig slilks dispete nromal inlenetigce, sensroy aucity, and instrictuon. Saverel preceptual studeys have sugestged that dslexisy seubjcts porsecs visaul infarmotion mero slywlo than narmol sebjucts. Suhc vusial anbormaliteis wree rpeorted toeb fuond inmo re htan 75% oft he radieng-dasibled cildrhen etsted." Thefeerro, iti s import antto ruel outpro blmes with esnosry acituy (in cluidng ivsual aucity andvi saul porcisseng) bofere leallibng anin dividaul astru ly slydexic. Ist dyslexic bieng hell.
Lysdexia is the verbal version of dyslexia. Basically, this is caused by one's mouf being much smarter than one's brain. The mouf begins moobing at random and the brain tries to assert control. This results in words the coming out in order the wrong, or, in drastic some cases, whole words or phrases being added in or left double-cheesburger out without rhyme or.
The LAAA (American Lysdexia Association) is the supprot group premier in to be or not to be amremica.
Rembemer just that are dyslexics teapole poo.
Poeple who were lisdaxi were otfen buernde at the staek as withces. Thsi was deu to the faer of their spaekign abliteis and their corssed eyes. The last pesron bunred at the steak was Jhon Fziterglad Kedenny in 1973 atfer he raed his 3rd garde papre "I like bieks to ride". if sumoone siad i waz a withc i wood say dat i wsnt a withc.
There was a song fronn Sessame strete that wnet like thiss:
b is for dyslexia, thats good enough for me (holds up a sign with a Q) b is for byslexia, thats good enough for me (holds up a sign with a 7) b is for lysbexia, that's good enough for me (holds up a sign with a swastika) oh lysdexia lysdexia lysdexia starts with Z!
Common Dyxlexic<>English Translations
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This article is written in the real or imagined writing style of its subject. If you do not find it funny, it is probably because you are the type who needed this explained to you. If you still do not find the article funny, that is surely because a joke loses its humor when it is explained. The authors sincerely hope that you will pick up your game and laugh without prompting in the future.