Dust

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“Nature abhorrs a vacuum.”
~ Darwin on Dust
Bouncywikilogo10
For those without comedic tastes, the self-proclaimed experts at Wikipedia think they have an article about Dust.

Dust is not, as commonly thought of by scientists, dead skin cells come back to haunt us, it is in fact tiny little droplets of cat urine. These droplets are so small that this allows them to float in the air.

History

Cheese particle
The smallest particle until recently

Dust was created approximately 4.6 billion years ago by God, who only discovered it's full potential after using it to create everything else. Research into dust then found out many things about this intriguing topic. First of all it was discoverd that cats did in fact pee, but this pee seemed to disappear, appearing for all the world, as if it had never come to being. Scientists then found out that bears had in fact known about this for many years but would not yield to severe tellings off. After this sudden revelation it was found that there was in fact a smaller particle than cheese and this is what the pee was thought to be.

Brief Summary

How It Happened

Whilst the scientists where out on the lunch break a group of physicians decided to ruin the scientists work, due to recent and bitter clan differences. Whilst in the laboratory the physicians found the work on dust ran away with their cat. The physicians in fact worked for the great Papa Smurf of Smurfland who finally reached the conclusion that it was in fact true and in running into the patent office to get the rights realised that he had accidentally brought his collection of porn magazines instead of the research and so the scientists got there first.

The Science Part

After all of this commotion scientists decided that it possibly was a good idea to look into this topic and so they actually decided to do some work, rather than look at their incredibly small penises telescopes, to find more about it. It was found that it floats because it is in fact stronger than the air and so the air lets it through so that it doesn't get pummelled. It was also found, not that this matters, that it has an age old aggrement with gravity that dust can defy him so long as he brings gravity figs.

Little Known Facts about Dust

  • Dust is in fact used in many herbal recipes to heal wounds
  • A lot of dust can be found in <insert name here>'s crack nose, where it feasts on your brains
  • Dust was originally purple but has become yellow in order to blend in with its surroundings
  • Chuck Norris does not in fact like Dust

Dust Fighting

Dust pillars
Two Dust warriors rearing up to fight

It was recently found out that dust, as well as being stronger than air is in fact stronger than many things and therefore it is set to fight many things, such as bananas. Dust has a stategic way of fighting, often rearing up behind its enemy to fall down crashing about them so powerfully that they are bewildered and cry out for their mummies.

Tactics

  • It will dance slowly to seduce you into not attacking it
  • It then slowly rises while still dancing
  • Now dust will squirt water at you before crashing around you, decimating you on the spot

Most Spectacular Battles

Space Dust

It has recently been found that dust has learned to fly. This intelligent new species of zombie has now gone up into space to make babies research, into flying toast. These two have since become allies and are planning on invading Norway, and the fish with legs.

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