Drum Corps International

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A rejected design proposal for the DCI Logo.

“I have a modest proposal for DCI... leave drum corps alone, you stupid twits!”

~ Jonathan Swift

Drum Corps International (DCI) is a nonprofit youth organization devoted to ruining perfectly good junior drum and bugle corps from across the globe.

From modest beginnings in 1972, DCI has developed into a powerful crime organization with artistic, yet detrimental influence on the world's drum and bugle corps, marching bands, and related activities. Regional, focus, sponsored, and sanctioned shows have brought the drum corps experience to several million more in hundreds of towns and cities throughout North America. Unfortunately for the fans, however, is seems that DCI is now more intent on destroying drum corps as a whole than ever.

[edit] History

After World War I, the drum corps gods decided that the human race needed a new source of entertainment. Legendary groups like VFW and American Legion were chosen by the drum corps gods to carry out their will on earth and organize drum corps events and competitions for the masses (even though everyone knew that no matter what the final scores were, The Cavaliers were the best). Under the guidance of these groups, drum corps flourished and all was good - that is, until a bold new organization emerged.

In the fall of 1970 "Jacob Herzog" was organized by the directors of a handful of the top drum and bugle corps in the country. Their only purpose was to make money by "combining" their top drum and bugle corps into a package for contest promoters to consider hiring if they wanted to have a top drawing contest. The theory of these directors that formed "The Combine" was that drum corps fans really only wanted to see the top drum corps in competition, so why even bother having any of the hundreds of other competing drum corps in your contest. By having a contest with "Combine" only drum corps, a contest was sure to draw a huge crowd which in turn allowed for large cash prizes and appearance fees for the "Combine" drum corps. Screw the rest of the drum corps!!!

In the fall of 1971 the directors of the drum corps in "The Combine" faced a dillema. "The Combine" drum corps, for the most part, no longer wished to compete at any of the traditional major national contests anymore. They say it was because they didn't like their rules anymore, however, there's really a lot more to it than that. They really wanted to be in a position to create their own rules thereby insuring their continued competitive success. You see, the "Combine" drum corps faced embarrassment when they competed and lost to non "Combine" drum corps like the Racine Kilties, St. Andrew's Bridgemen, Hawthorne Muchachos and the Des Plaines Vanguard. Their whole premise was that their little "Combine" contained the best drum corps. However, drum corps contest promoters, if they're going to pay big money to "hire" the "Combine" for their contest, wanted to be sure that they were getting the best drum corps. This problem was solved by the creation of DCI. The only purpose for holding the DCI Championship each year is to find out who the top drum corps are, in other words who "The Combine" drum corps are for the next year, to insure that the drum corps contest promoters are still getting the top drum corps for their next year's contests. Screw the rest of drum corps!!!

Only the top DCI drum corps each year, as determined by their own judges at their own DCI Championship, are considered members of DCI and therefore only these member drum corps make the rules. Judging, even in the DCI era, still has been about as questionable as at any other time in drum corps competitive history. But now with DCI we have the additional situation where only the winners make the rules for all drum corps each year, thus assuring the top DCI member drum corps of their continued reign at the top through the legislation of rules that continue to guarantee this. Screw the rest of drum corps!!!

So the notion that DCI was created by the junior drum corps activity is all wrong. It was created by a few greedy, arrogant drum corps directors who organized "The Combine" and later DCI only to benefit their drum corps. That's why most of the original "Combine" drum corps are still with us today, 2007, and only about 4 dozen other junior drum corps are left from the hundreds that were in existence when DCI was organized. Screw the rest of drum corps!!!

In later years, there once was a ho named Lexie W. Nuff said.

DCI was established in 1972, promising fairer systems of judging and more freedom of artistic expression. Shortly thereafter, DCI had completely taken over the junior (members under the age of 22) drum corps industry. For a time, drum corps continued to flourish under its new rule. However, little did anyone know, DCI's intentions were not as righteous as they seemed...

Spurred on by the lies and hatred of Bbeelzebub, the leaders of DCI planned to slowly run drum corps off the path intended for it by the drum corps gods. The first changes included the widespread use of non-symmetrical drill, the addition of a stationary front ensemble (or "pit"), the addition of more valves to the bugles, and the evolution of the expressive role of the colorguard. These and many other similar changes were carried out as the drum corps gods had originally intended. However, Bbeelzebub also began to slowly add in his own changes - changes like shortening the length of shows, increasing the member limit, legalizing amplification, and of course, allowing horns in keys other than the traditional key of G. These changes angered the drum corps gods and recently has challenged the very existence of drum corps as an entity separate from that of marching band.

[edit] Recent Issues

In recent times, DCI has truly run askew from its intended path. Many angered fans, looking for someone to blame, have chosen to label Cadets Corps Director George Hopkins as the source of the problem. However, this is completely untrue (despite that fact that he doesn't know how to direct a drum corps). Bbeelzebub, who can only influence the corrupt minds of the DCI Board of Directors, is the true source of unrest in the drum corps community. Hopkins is simply a man with a vision - a vision that coincidentally is quite similar to that of Bbeelzebub's (except for that part that it probably wont work).

The number of active drum corps has been declining ever since DCI began. The final blow was delivered in 2007, when the membership limit was increased to 150. Such an increases will benefit only the topmost corps, leaving the mid to lower echelon corps to scrounge around for whatever members they can get a hold of. Detailed studies show that by the year 2013, there will be -1 corps left unless something drastic is done to change this.

Bitches don't know bout George Hopkins's synth.

Experts speculate that if nothing is done to stop Bbeelzebub, this is what a drum corps will look like in the near future.

Also of interest is the proposed addition of electronic instruments, which was defeated in 2007 by a mere tie. Once this proposal is passed (and it will be passed, as Bbeelzebub is now in control), there will be little else to do other than add woodwinds and string instruments to drum corps. Once this happens, drums corps will end, the drum corps gods of old will vanish off of the face of existence, and Bbeelzebub will have won.

However! There is one way to stop this. The Drum Corps Savior must rise from the living and defeat the evil Bbeelzebub (i.e. Bridgemen). Then, and only then, will drum corps truly be saved!

[edit] Legends

DCI has it's fair share of heroes for all to look up upon and ooohh and aaahh. Among these include the allmighty drum god Thom Hannum. Although recectly his East Coast godliness had become blasphemy, as the west coast drum style has been embraces by very much of the Drum Corps community. One of the remaining following corps is The Cadets. Tom Aungst, drum demigod, leads the drumline, although the drum demidemigod Colin McNut will soon fill his position, and most likely will force the Cadets to embrace the dark side that is the west coast stlye, and Thom Hannum's power will forever be destroyed. Causing the drumline sect of Drum Corps to be that much more destroyed. Roberto Free happens to also be marching, but he will be a GOD in a few years.

[edit] DCA

DCA, which stands for Drum Corp Associates, is a fallacy created by the liberal media, which is secretly controlled by Bbeelzebub. We know this because they let in people that resemble a certain trumpet player in a certain band that is not a ginger, is not tall, is not a minority and is excessivly annoying. It is believed that DCA was responsible for 9-11, the Apocalypse, and getting that one bitch on the corner pregnant. It is said that when Pioneer wins the World Title for the six jillionth time in 4354, Drum Corps Jesus will return and banish DCA to the nether regions, also known as Bands of America.