Drill sergeant

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(YOU = UNFUNNY)
 
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[[Image:drill sergeant.jpg|thumb|900px|YOU WILL NOT DECREASE THE PIXEL SIZE OF MY PICTURE! DO YOU UNDERSTAND?!]]A '''DRILL INSTRUCTOR''' IS WHAT I MOTHERFUCKING AM! FROM THIS POINT ON, NOTHING WILL COME OUT OF THAT FILTHY CESSPOOL OF SHIT YOU CALL A MOUTH! YOU WILL ONLY RESPOND WITH 'YES SIR' OR 'NO SIR', DO YOU UNDERSTAND RECRUIT?!
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{{DISPLAYTITLE:DRILL INSTRUCTOR}}
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[[Image:drill sergeant.jpg|thumb|490px|YOU WILL NOT DECREASE THE PIXEL SIZE OF MY PICTURE! DO YOU UNDERSTAND?!]]A '''DRILL INSTRUCTOR''' IS WHAT I MOTHERFUCKING AM! FROM THIS POINT ON, NOTHING WILL COME OUT OF THAT FILTHY CESSPOOL OF SHIT YOU CALL A MOUTH! YOU WILL ONLY RESPOND WITH 'SIR YES SIR' OR 'SIR NO SIR', DO YOU UNDERSTAND RECRUIT?!
 
WHAT ARE YOU? YOU ARE A PATHETIC, BOW-LEGGED, BASEMENT-WANKING MAGGOT!
 
WHAT ARE YOU? YOU ARE A PATHETIC, BOW-LEGGED, BASEMENT-WANKING MAGGOT!
STRAIGHTEN UP WHILE YOU’RE READING THIS, MAGGOT!
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STRAIGHTEN UP WHILE YOU’RE READING THIS, FAGGOT!
 
DO I MAKE MYSELF '''CLEAR'''?!
 
DO I MAKE MYSELF '''CLEAR'''?!
 
YOU ARE OFFICIALLY MY [[bitch|BITCH]] FOR THE DURATION OF THIS ARTICLE, AND CONSIDERING HOW FAST YOU READ, YOU’RE GONNA BE MY BITCH FOR A SOLID WEEK!
 
YOU ARE OFFICIALLY MY [[bitch|BITCH]] FOR THE DURATION OF THIS ARTICLE, AND CONSIDERING HOW FAST YOU READ, YOU’RE GONNA BE MY BITCH FOR A SOLID WEEK!
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LOOK AT YOU!
 
LOOK AT YOU!
 
LOOK AT YOU WITH YOUR $3 [[hair|HAIRCUT]] AND THAT FREAK SHOW EXCUSE FOR A FACE!
 
LOOK AT YOU WITH YOUR $3 [[hair|HAIRCUT]] AND THAT FREAK SHOW EXCUSE FOR A FACE!
YOU LOOK LIKE SOMEONE CUT OFF THE CANCER-INFECTED [[Vagina|VAGINA]] LIPS OF A FEMALE ELEPHANT AND STUCK THEM PERMANENTLY TO YOUR SKULL!
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YOU LOOK LIKE SOMEONE CUT OFF THE CANCER-INFECTED [[vagina|VAGINA]] LIPS OF A FEMALE ELEPHANT AND STUCK THEM PERMANENTLY TO YOUR SKULL!
 
YOU MAKE ME ''SICK''!
 
YOU MAKE ME ''SICK''!
 
GET DOWN ON THIS KEYBOARD RIGHT NOW AND TYPE “I AM A [[diarrhea|DIARRHEA]] SLURPING REDNECK BUM HUMPER” 500 TIMES, RIGHT NOW!
 
GET DOWN ON THIS KEYBOARD RIGHT NOW AND TYPE “I AM A [[diarrhea|DIARRHEA]] SLURPING REDNECK BUM HUMPER” 500 TIMES, RIGHT NOW!
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== YOU = LIMP-WRISTED HOMO ==
 
== YOU = LIMP-WRISTED HOMO ==
   
I’M GETTING TIRED OF THE WORD “MAGGOT”, MAGGOT!
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SINCE 'DON'T ASK, DON'T TELL' WAS REPEALED,I CAN CALL YOU A FAGGOT.
 
SO YOU’RE NOT JUST A MAGGOT, YOU’RE ALSO A FAGGOT!
 
SO YOU’RE NOT JUST A MAGGOT, YOU’RE ALSO A FAGGOT!
 
NO, YOU’RE A MAG-FAGGOT! GOT THAT MAG-FAGGOT?!
 
NO, YOU’RE A MAG-FAGGOT! GOT THAT MAG-FAGGOT?!
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SO YOU’RE THINKING ABOUT GETTING SMART NOW, EH?
 
SO YOU’RE THINKING ABOUT GETTING SMART NOW, EH?
 
YOU’RE THINKING ABOUT EDITING MY ARTICLE TO “MAKE IT BETTER” WITH SOME OF YOUR CUM-HOLE LICKING EASTERN [[Alabama|ALABAMA]] MONKEY FECES?!
 
YOU’RE THINKING ABOUT EDITING MY ARTICLE TO “MAKE IT BETTER” WITH SOME OF YOUR CUM-HOLE LICKING EASTERN [[Alabama|ALABAMA]] MONKEY FECES?!
BAD IDEA SHIT-WIZARD, AT THE AGE I WROTE MY FIRST FEATURED ARTICLE YOU WERE STILL CRYING TO YOUR MAMA THAT YOU CAN’T FIND [[Where's Waldo?|WALDO]]!
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BAD IDEA [[Shitwizard|SHITWIZARD]], AT THE AGE I WROTE MY FIRST FEATURED ARTICLE YOU WERE STILL CRYING TO YOUR MAMA THAT YOU CAN’T FIND [[Waldo|WALDO]]!
 
FOR GOD'S SAKE I’VE PASSED JAGGED, BLOODY GALLSTONES THAT MADE ME LAUGH MORE THAN YOU!
 
FOR GOD'S SAKE I’VE PASSED JAGGED, BLOODY GALLSTONES THAT MADE ME LAUGH MORE THAN YOU!
 
BUT ALRIGHT, MY PRANCING LITTLE TINKERBELL SOLDIER, LET’S SEE WHAT YOU GOT!
 
BUT ALRIGHT, MY PRANCING LITTLE TINKERBELL SOLDIER, LET’S SEE WHAT YOU GOT!
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Uhh… Umm… Where do pigs park their cars? – In a porking lot!
 
Uhh… Umm… Where do pigs park their cars? – In a porking lot!
   
WHAT?!
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WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT?!
WHERE DID YOU GET THAT ONE FROM, A FRIGGING LAFFY TAFFY WRAPPER?
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WHERE DID YOU GET THAT ONE FROM, A FRIGGING LAFFY TAFFY WRAPPER?!
 
WHILE YOU’RE AT IT WHY DON’T YOU GET ME A GODDAMN LAFFY TAFFY, BOY! BUT NONE OF THAT BANANA FLAVOR BULLSHIT, THAT STUFF TASTES LIKE SPUNKIFIED ASS RUNCH!
 
WHILE YOU’RE AT IT WHY DON’T YOU GET ME A GODDAMN LAFFY TAFFY, BOY! BUT NONE OF THAT BANANA FLAVOR BULLSHIT, THAT STUFF TASTES LIKE SPUNKIFIED ASS RUNCH!
AND I DON’T EVEN KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS! SEE WHAT YOU’RE DOIN’ TO ME RECRUIT! YOU AND YOUR SHIT-STAINED GRIN IS MAKING ME FUCKING INCOHERENT!
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AND I DON’T EVEN KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS! SEE WHAT YOU’RE DOIN’ TO ME RECRUIT! YOU AND YOUR SHIT-STAINED GRIN ARE MAKING ME FUCKING INCOHERENT!
 
I TELL YOU WHAT I’D BITCHSLAP YOU IN THE FACE RIGHT NOW IF I WANTED TO SPLASH MY HAND UP AGAINST A QUARTER PINT OF FACE CRATER PUS AND AARDVARK [[asshole|ASSHOLE]] PERSPIRATION!
 
I TELL YOU WHAT I’D BITCHSLAP YOU IN THE FACE RIGHT NOW IF I WANTED TO SPLASH MY HAND UP AGAINST A QUARTER PINT OF FACE CRATER PUS AND AARDVARK [[asshole|ASSHOLE]] PERSPIRATION!
   
== THIS AIN’T ABOUT ME ==
 
   
SO YOU WONDER WHY I DON’T TALK ABOUT MYSELF IN MY OWN ARTICLE?
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{{FA|date=18 February 2009|revision=3602036|title=FEATURED ARTICLE|text=THIS ARTICLE HAS BEEN FEATURED ON THE FRONT PAGE. — YOU WILL VOTE ON YOUR FAVORITE ARTICLES ON [[Uncyclopedia:VFH]]. ARE WE CLEAR ON THAT MAGGOTS?!}}
WELL MAYBE I DON’T WANT TO DEFLATE YOUR BORDERLINE [[emo|WRIST-SLITTING]] SELF-ESTEEM TELLING YOU HOW I WAS BANGING MY DOUBLE D CUP SEVENTH GRADE TEACHER WHILE YOU WERE STILL TRYING TO FIGURE OUT HOW TO TIE YOUR VELCRO SHOES!
 
   
SO I'M JUST GONNA SAY FUCK THIS ANYWAY, I DON’T HAVE TIME FOR A MAG-FAGGOT LIKE YOU ANYMORE!
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[[Category:ARTICLES WRITTEN ENTIRELY IN CAPS LOCK]][[Category:Really Angry People]]
ONE FINAL SUGGESTION FOR YOU, RECRUIT: GET OFF THE COMPUTER, GIVE ME 50 PUSHUPS, AND THEN DO THE WORLD A FAVOR BY CHOKING TILL YOU DIE OFF A BUCKET OF BACKWASHED [[bear|GRIZZLY BEAR]] PISS!
 
 
 
'''DISMISSED!!'''
 
 
 
 
{{VFH}}
 
 
[[Category:Self-reference]]
 
[[Category:Self-reference]]
 
[[Category:Articles about a person written in the style of that person]]
 
[[Category:Articles about a person written in the style of that person]]
 
[[es:Instructor de entrenamiento militar]]
 
[[es:Instructor de entrenamiento militar]]
  +
[[pt:Instrutor de treinamento militar]]

Latest revision as of 03:20, March 19, 2012

Drill sergeant

YOU WILL NOT DECREASE THE PIXEL SIZE OF MY PICTURE! DO YOU UNDERSTAND?!

A DRILL INSTRUCTOR IS WHAT I MOTHERFUCKING AM! FROM THIS POINT ON, NOTHING WILL COME OUT OF THAT FILTHY CESSPOOL OF SHIT YOU CALL A MOUTH! YOU WILL ONLY RESPOND WITH 'SIR YES SIR' OR 'SIR NO SIR', DO YOU UNDERSTAND RECRUIT?!

WHAT ARE YOU? YOU ARE A PATHETIC, BOW-LEGGED, BASEMENT-WANKING MAGGOT! STRAIGHTEN UP WHILE YOU’RE READING THIS, FAGGOT! DO I MAKE MYSELF CLEAR?! YOU ARE OFFICIALLY MY BITCH FOR THE DURATION OF THIS ARTICLE, AND CONSIDERING HOW FAST YOU READ, YOU’RE GONNA BE MY BITCH FOR A SOLID WEEK! HEY! DON’T YOU EVEN TRY CLICKING ANY OF THOSE SHINY BLUE LINKY LINKS, MAGGOT! NOT THAT I REALLY EXPECT YOU TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE SUBJECT FOR MORE THAN TEN SECONDS UNLESS IT INCLUDES THE WORD “BOOBIES” OR “LOL” MORE THAN SIX TIMES!

edit YOU = MAGGOT

LOOK AT YOU! LOOK AT YOU WITH YOUR $3 HAIRCUT AND THAT FREAK SHOW EXCUSE FOR A FACE! YOU LOOK LIKE SOMEONE CUT OFF THE CANCER-INFECTED VAGINA LIPS OF A FEMALE ELEPHANT AND STUCK THEM PERMANENTLY TO YOUR SKULL! YOU MAKE ME SICK! GET DOWN ON THIS KEYBOARD RIGHT NOW AND TYPE “I AM A DIARRHEA SLURPING REDNECK BUM HUMPER” 500 TIMES, RIGHT NOW!


I am a diarrhea slurping redneck bum humper. 
i am a diarhea sulrping redneck bum humper. 
I am a diarrhea slurping redncek bum humpr.
I am a diarrhea slurping redneck bum humper. 
i am a diarhea sulrping redneck bum humper. 
I am a diarrhea slurping redncek bum humpr.
I am a diarrhea slurping redneck bum humper. 
i am a diarhea sulrping redneck bum humper. 
I am a diarrhea slurping redncek bum humpr.
I am…


HOLD IT RIGHT THERE MAGGOT! YOU THINK I CAN’T TELL WHEN SOMEONE’S USING COPY AND PASTE? WHAT DO YOU TAKE ME FOR MAGGOT?! I’D TAKE YOU OUT BACK TO THE LATRINE AND DROP A SIXTEEN CHILI BURRITO DUMP IN THAT TOOTHLESS SLACKJAW MAW OF YOURS IF I DIDN’T THINK YOU’D ENJOY IT, YOU FILTHY LITTLE SCATOLOGICAL SON OF A DRUNKEN PLUMBER!

edit YOU = LIMP-WRISTED HOMO

SINCE 'DON'T ASK, DON'T TELL' WAS REPEALED,I CAN CALL YOU A FAGGOT. SO YOU’RE NOT JUST A MAGGOT, YOU’RE ALSO A FAGGOT! NO, YOU’RE A MAG-FAGGOT! GOT THAT MAG-FAGGOT?!

edit YOU = UNFUNNY

SO YOU’RE THINKING ABOUT GETTING SMART NOW, EH? YOU’RE THINKING ABOUT EDITING MY ARTICLE TO “MAKE IT BETTER” WITH SOME OF YOUR CUM-HOLE LICKING EASTERN ALABAMA MONKEY FECES?! BAD IDEA SHITWIZARD, AT THE AGE I WROTE MY FIRST FEATURED ARTICLE YOU WERE STILL CRYING TO YOUR MAMA THAT YOU CAN’T FIND WALDO! FOR GOD'S SAKE I’VE PASSED JAGGED, BLOODY GALLSTONES THAT MADE ME LAUGH MORE THAN YOU! BUT ALRIGHT, MY PRANCING LITTLE TINKERBELL SOLDIER, LET’S SEE WHAT YOU GOT!

Uhh… Umm… Where do pigs park their cars? – In a porking lot!

WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT?! WHERE DID YOU GET THAT ONE FROM, A FRIGGING LAFFY TAFFY WRAPPER?! WHILE YOU’RE AT IT WHY DON’T YOU GET ME A GODDAMN LAFFY TAFFY, BOY! BUT NONE OF THAT BANANA FLAVOR BULLSHIT, THAT STUFF TASTES LIKE SPUNKIFIED ASS RUNCH! AND I DON’T EVEN KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS! SEE WHAT YOU’RE DOIN’ TO ME RECRUIT! YOU AND YOUR SHIT-STAINED GRIN ARE MAKING ME FUCKING INCOHERENT! I TELL YOU WHAT I’D BITCHSLAP YOU IN THE FACE RIGHT NOW IF I WANTED TO SPLASH MY HAND UP AGAINST A QUARTER PINT OF FACE CRATER PUS AND AARDVARK ASSHOLE PERSPIRATION!


190px-Featured.png

Potatohead aqua FEATURED ARTICLE  (read another featured article) Featured version: 18 February 2009
THIS ARTICLE HAS BEEN FEATURED ON THE FRONT PAGE. — YOU WILL VOTE ON YOUR FAVORITE ARTICLES ON Uncyclopedia:VFH. ARE WE CLEAR ON THAT MAGGOTS?!
<includeonly>Template:FA/18 February 2009Template:FA/2009</includeonly>
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