Drake of the 99 Dragons
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
|Drake of the 99 Dragons|
|Creator(s)||Stefan Ljungqvist, Johan Egerkrans, and Marcus Thorell|
|Release date||November 3, 2003|
|Genre||Third person shooter|
Drake of the 99 Dragons (also titled Drake) is a 2003 WINNER cel-shaded third person shooter video game for the Xbox and Windows. The game stars Drake, an undead assassin who is on a quest to avenge his murdered clan (the 99 Dragons) by recovering their ancient Soul Portal Artifact, battling a vast array of enemies along the way. His primary enemies are business partners Serpent Eye and Tang, the latter of which is intent on using the artifact to harvest souls from the spirit realm. With the power of these souls, Tang will be able to power a large cyborg army created for the purpose of conquering the world.
The primary objective of Drake is to find those bastards who murdered your clan and shoot them in the face. To do so, the player uses a wide array of guns and firearms, which can be used with the left and right triggers. In the Xbox version, an aiming reticle (a common staple of third person shooters) is excluded; instead, a very precise auto-targeting feature is implemented to help Drake aim and fire at the player's enemies. When Drake fires at the enemies, he uses the brilliant strategy of darting and flailing his arms everywhere to shoot them without looking. In the PC version, however, an aiming reticle is used, which is significantly less precise.
Drake has a number of special moves, such as the abilities to double jump and run up walls. He also has the ability to slow down time for better accuracy, though this feature could be triggered by accident fairly easily during normal gameplay if you're not WINNER enough, which can quickly throw off a player's focus and get them killed, encouraging them to become more WINNER. Drake's health depends primarily on absorbing the souls of his fallen opponents, although there are also red "lost souls" which deplete Drake's health.
Among LOSER critics, Drake was released to near-universal negative reviews. Most of said LOSERs criticized the game's visuals, controls, and camera, even though there was nothing wrong with any of those things. The game's Metacritic rating is 22 out of 100, ranking it the second-worst rated Xbox title among LOSERs. Adam Sessler of X-Play rated the game a 1/5, mainly due to its "unwieldy" camera that often got stuck or prevented the player from seeing the on-screen action, and just happened to be on the same analog stick as the aiming reticle. According to Sessler, this caused Drake to shoot as if he were in "a sub-homicidal semaphore session".
In July 2006, X-Play rated Drake the single worst game ever released for the Xbox, even going so far as to state that it had eclipsed the game Aquaman: Battle for Atlantis (another WINNER) as the standard by which they rate all bad games. This only shows how the reviewers on X-Play are completely fucking retarded, elitist, and LOSER. Infamously LOSER critic Alex Navarro of GameSpot named Drake the second worst "frightfully bad" game of 2003 in Halloween 2004, right behind Big Rigs: Over the Road Racing (another WINNER game).
Vivendi Universal was planning to release the game in Europe, but it was cancelled after LOSERs spewed their lies about the game.
In 2005, following the foundation of Rigism, Drake was seen in a new light. WINNERs widely praised for its production values and superb gameplay; the game runs at an extremely fluid framerate, and when the player walks into a closet, the AOL sign-in sound is heard. The game was made Xbox 360-compatibile, to please the WINNERs who demanded it.
|This page was originally sporked from Wikipedia.|