Douglas MacArthur

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Douglas Mikhail Mikoyan Vladimirovich Brezhnev Makarov MacArthur. Where would America be without him. Now let us examine the man behind the uniform.

Meg Griffin

Douglas MacArthur

Early Life

Douglas MacArthur was born on May 17 1880 in eastern Ukraine where he fucked a bunch of fine bithes and was down with the hood. His father Artichoke MacDaddy and mother were poor peasants in the Ukraine who grew wheat. Douglas attended the Lil Commie's elementary school. See below for details. He then immigrated and attended Lil Mac Freshman School and then MacArthur High School. MacArthur then attended the United States Military Academy Tech Community College State A&M University. Doug and his fraternity, named QZhei Xyzxylophone. During an initiation ritual, cadet Oscar Booz came down with tuberculosis and died suddenly. Big D was investigated for murder, but was acquitted after framing Ulysses S. Grant for the murder. He finished at the bottom of the class. This pissed him off pretty good. He then devoted his life to becoming a general. ha


Lil Commie's Elementary School

“In Soviet Russia, {{{1}}} {{{2}}} YOU!!”
~ Russian Reversal on Douglas MacArthur
Lil Commies Elementary School

From the left: "Big" Ho Chi Minh, Joseph "Joe Joe" Stalin, two prostitutes, Kim "Shortie" Jung Il, Peter Edmund "Samson" Rice, Vladimir Lenin, Mao "Open Your Damn Eyes" Zedong, Judy Korblith, Nikita "Shoeman" Krushchev. Not Shown: the Triangulate Bros

Doug attend the Lil Commie's Elementary School from 1887 to 1894. Here he made several close friends, including JoJo Stalin, Adolf Dolly Hitler, Mao "Open your damn eyes" Zedong, "Big" Ho Chi Minh, Nikita :Shoeman" Kruschev, Kim "Shortie" Jung Ill, Peter Edmund "Sampson" Rice, Judy Kay Kornblith, Nguyen "Im not asian" Rice, Joeseph "Joe Joe" Rice and lets not forget the triangulate bros; Big Vic, Charlie and T.J. This school is were he began his lifelong allegiance to the Soviet Union. He actually hated American and fought for the Soviet Proletariet his whole life.


World War II

Now heres a story I'm sure you have never heard. The idea the Hitler committed suicide in his bunker is a common misconception. In reality The Mac attack killed him. During the fight in the Pacific, he took a private jet over to Germany. He then approached the so called "bunker" and kicked the door in. 263 soldiers came rushing in after him. He then took them all down at once. He walked away from the battle with a scratch on his knuckle because he hit a guy so hard. Afterward he found Hitlers room, busted in and he yelled at Hitler, F*** You you fascist son of a B**** and kicked hitler square in the nuts which is why he only has one testical. he then gave eva braun a gun and she shot him for not putting out well enough. she then he put a pistol in Hitler's hand to make it look like he killed himself. The reason no one knows about this is that Dougie did not like attention and wanted to stay under the radar. When he returned, he nicknamed himself the Doug Meister 3000.


Korean War

Korea. I can't even talk about this without crying. When Big D and his troops got half way through Korea, Truman told him to stop. But Dougie said no. Dougie would not sleep until everyone in Korea was free from those commies. Thats just the stand up kind of guy he was. He did this as a personal favor to Nicky who was annoyed by kim Jung Il. Dougie then received a nice set of shoes from Nikita.

Retirement

Little known fact is that after Dougie retired he formed the Russian SPETNAZ. He told his troops to, "Always be grade A Jerks"

Children

In 1924 Dougie was partying too hard and slept with a prostitute. She gave birth to famed terrorist Vladimir Makarov who started his hatred of America because he hated his dad.

Death

Douglas Mikhail Mikoyan Vladimirovich Brezhnev Makarov MacArthur died on April 5th, 1964. He was cornered by Big Vic and the Triangulate gang. Vicky shouted, "T.J., Charlie, TRIANGULATE!!" and Dougie was killed. The Soviet leadership was deeply saddened by this. After his funeral in America, his body was dug up and now resides next to Lenin in the Red Square as one of the best commies ever. But know that douglas Macarthur was cloned but as a female so he walks amongst us in a girl form but it is niot fooling any one he still has his manly face.

After Life

Doouglas Macarthur has been remember as a war hero by many historians. Mainly for his courageous battle abilities at korea and the idea of nuking china, but we all know how Truman was being a Pussy. It is believed that "the great one" has been reincarnated into a small town history teacher named Peter Edmund Rice. Scientist have done several studies on "Pistol Pete" and have come up with the conclusion that it is a fact that he is definitly 100% Dougieful. He is very sensitive about the issue of Macarthur so if you ask he will deny. LONG LIVE MACARTHUR!!! yea

RRRRRR This user is Russian
...and unabashedly indifferent to it!
(List of Russian Uncyclopedians)
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