Dough
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“I like Dough!”
~ Oscar Wilde on Dough
“Heeeeee Heeeeeeeeeee!”
~ Pillsbury Dough Boy on Dough
Dough is a toy for children suffering of schizophrenia in outdoor activites, created of various hazardous materials. It's considered to be one of today's most dangerous toys, as the package containing the dough don't have any warning sign. Although no deaths has been reported, it may have side effects similar to obesity. The only known manufacturer is the underground dwarves.
[edit] History
There is currently no known date of when it first was invented, although late runes proves it has been in use for over 182 years. It is also mentioned in the russian version of the old testament enough times to cover an area matching the size of Iraq. The purpose if this toy was however slightly different from what it's used for today, namely sex. There is no known theory about how the act of love itself would have worked out, but a lot of people think it primarily used among homosexual individuals.
In the late, the project Destroy The Dwarves got a breakthrough and was able to catch the first dwarf in history. The dwarf, whose identity will remain anonymous, is currently imprisoned in the state prison of Texas, where the Federal Bureau of Investigation are trying to collect pieces of the recipe but with little success so far. Suggestions are most welcome.
Late reports also shows that it was clearly underrated in the past, but is now starting to spread. It's also speculated that it will be this years christmas gift (where the word this refers to the actual year you are reading this crap).
[edit] Usage
The most common procedure is to set it up at a place often visited by the victim (read as patient). The most effective way is to place the dough in a sandbox together with a dead bunny. The idea is to force the victim to get close to it and eat it, that's where the dead bunny comes in. This will make people suffering from schizofrenia to think in a certain way which causes them to eat everything (including the sand) in their way except the bunny. For the highest possible success rate, it's recommended to use a fresh and clean sand without any goo or dirt in it. Bacterials found in dirty sand may cause instant death for these kind of people.
There is also a formula for how it affects the victim's vital organs, such as the stomach.
It is as easy as follows: 
.
Where x is the volume of the dough, y is the amount of sand measured in gram and z is the color of the victim.
