Dordrecht

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For the religious among us who choose to believe lies, the so-called experts at Wikipedia think they have an article about Dordrecht.

The city of Dordrecht is known for its high taxes; Dordrecht lies on an island between 7 rivers, which makes it an excellent toll place. However, long ago, sailors knew this, so they released many sheep to disturb the money counting, so they could pass without being noticed. When the tax collectors found out, they where so mad, that they named a football team after it, Dordrecht 90, 90 (K, kilo) because of all the sheep they counted, which was 90.000, and as a symbol they used a sheep's head.

Education

The elementary schools in Dordrecht are crap. Moving on: There are some high schools in Dordrecht, and they can be categorized as follows:

90% of Dordrecht's non-white teenagers go to the "Dalton college", which was named after the Dalton brothers from the comic "Lucky Luke", because like the Dalton brothers, all of the Dalton college's students are criminals, social outcasts, and, of course- dumb. And then there is the "Insula college". A tad better than the Dalton college, it still is a school for retarded students. Insula is Latin for island- this of course meaning that the "special" Insula students should be isolated from the rest of the world, for their sake- and the world's.

The smartest and the craziest of the lot are sent to some sort of teenager asylum called the Johan de Witt-Gymnasium, on which some of the most awesome people of this world are being trained in their awesomeness. strangely, the smarter/awesome/crazy the student is, the slimmer is his chance on completing the school. people here have been spotted listening death metal while wearing a suit, dragging a suitcase about the place, and having electric hair. Sadly, these kids stay a virgin for the rest of their lives, since girls do not come anywhere near the boys. And even if they do, they ejaculate prematurely.

The City

The city itself is a middle-sized Dutch city. Like in all Dutch cities, you don't have to lock your bike- you can just steal a bike whenever you need one.

The police in Dordrecht acts very strangely: they will not catch thieves or anything , but if you've parked in the wrong place, you're going to jail. They also enjoy asking people for their ID at random times, earning them 50 euros every time someone doesn't have their ID with them. However, when driving downtown, do watch out: at any moment, metal poles, called "Amsterdammertjes", could pop up from the ground, ramming you if you're not careful.

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