Dora the Explorer

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Dora the Explorer is a television show about Dora Marquez, a resident of Doraville, Georgia, who is so obsessed about pointless meandering and explaining every single detail traveling that she doesn't really know where she goes. She illegally entered and re-entered Mexico, Canada, and the United States countless times without realizing it. Even to this day she does not know how many countries she has been to. Her explaining of everything obvious annoys the non-ADD-afflicted American youngsters. Only the ADD ones seem to care about the program.

[edit] Appearance

• Dora presents herself as a child, yet her (gargantuan) adult sized head is precariously positioned upon a barbie doll body. Excessive consumption of Pop-Tarts has made it twice the width of her shoulders, and she drools over minor landscape elements like a rabid chihuahua. Her eyes are the same size as her tennis shoes and bigger than her hands.
• Her belly shirt actually hides a 2nd trimester pregnancy
• Her nose is an apostrophe.
• She shaves her eyebrows and eyelashes. God knows why. Actually, He doesn't.
• She literally has two right feet

[edit] Skills

Repetition to a degree so insane one may lose brain cells. An example:

• Dora: "Where's the lake?" (referring to a lake 3 inches beside her) "Donde esta el lago?"
• Boots: "The lake! The lake! Oo oo ee ee!"
• Dora: "Can you see the lake?" "Puede ver el lago?"
• ...4 seconds later...
• Dora: "Do you know where the lake is?" "Sabe donde el lago esta?"
• ...another 4 seconds...
• Dora: "Click on the lake!"
• Boots: "Oh for fuck's sake! Where's the fucking lake, dammit?!"(repeat 50 times)
• (After clicking on the lake which takes up 3/4th of the screen...)
• Lake: "Buenos dias, Dora y Boots!"
• Dora: "The lake speaks Spanish! And it knows my name!"
• Lake: "Chupa mi bicho."
• Boots: "I'm getting the fuck outta here." "Estoy saliendo la cogida de aqui."

• Map: Road, Bridge, Candy Mountain. Road, Bridge, Candy Mountain. Road, Bridge, Candy Mountain. Road, Bridge, Candy Mountain. Road, Bridge, Candy Mountain. Road, Bridge, Candy Mountain. Road, Bridge, Candy Mountain. Road, Bridge, Candy Mountain. Road, Bridge, Candy Mountain. Road, Bridge, Candy Mountain.
• Dora: Si!
• Map: For the last fucking time Dora I DON'T SPEAK THAT FOREIGN LANGUAGE OF YOURS.
• Dora: Si!

After much frustration 'Map' eventually gets swiped by swiper, much to his liking.

Her primary weapon is an endless loop of the viciously repetitive and mind-numbing children's song Backpack which is said to produce comprehensive confessions from Iraqi prisoners after around 15 minutes of torture. Although this violates the Geneva Convention, article XVII, which clearly states - No physical or mental torture, nor any other form of animated cartoons shortened or otherwise, may be inflicted on prisoners of war to secure from them information of any kind whatever. Prisoners of war who refuse to answer may not be threatened, insulted, or exposed to any Dora the Explorer theme song melody including and/or especially consisting of repetitive "Backpack" songs and limited to and not excluding thereby thus said animation theme songs of any kind, sort, or duration., the American public remains unaware of the psychological damage this may cause and continue to purchase Dora paraphernalia at a staggering rate. The song is also rumoured to cause dyslexia and severe mouth watering.

At Doraville Elementary School, Dora is reviled by the other students because she takes 12 minutes to explain something that can be said in two seconds, and she always repeats herself.

[edit] The end of Dora (YAY!)

One day Dora and Boots visited the bank in Doraville. When a bunch of robbers armed with various weapons swarmed the building and demanded money from the teller, Dora angrily cried "Swiper, No sniping!" - Her bloody end came mere seconds later. And from this day forth, her fuckin' talk show will soon be over.

But believe it or not she is was good at math. I learned from her; 2 fools plus 12 magazines of 30 rounds each equals 0 fools. Swiper the Fox was reported to have thrown a party afterwards.