Dolphin uprising

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Dolphin Uprising
Date: 2007-2009
Place: American Coast, Persian Gulf, Oceans, Among others.
Outcome: Human Victory, rise of Justin Bieber
Dolphins Humans
Political affiliation
Fascist Varied
George W. Bush
Oprah Winfrey
Justin Bieber
Barrack Obama
Viktor Reznov
2,225,000 2,000,000
3,458,983 God damned Nazi-Dolphins 857,391 Marmots
1,251,213 Beavers
1,107,312 Humans

The Dolphin Uprising was a grand war of Cetacean revolution. The war lasted from 2008 to 2009 and ended in a Pyrrhic Human victory. While the Humans won the war, it was not a total victory as Dolphin leader(The King Dolphin.) George W. Bush sliped away to his very secret ocean hideout, allowing for the possibility of a second Dolphin Uprising. The war was deadly, as a total of 4,317,587 beings died as a result of the two year war. Oddly enough, they were all Canadians.

The Uprising


A fisherman is attacked in a surprise ambush.

The war started as a result among other things, of the perceived declining quality of snacks(fish)at Sea World. The war began on February 12th. 2007 after a pod of Dolphins bombed and sunk the HMS Titanic 2 on its maiden voyage. Over One Thousand Humans were killed in the attack, and within days all the nations of the world had declared war on the Dolphin menace. After a week of war American and British ships had suffered heavy losses(Approx. 3,000 killed.) to Dolphin attacks. Although very successful, the Dolphin attacks were uncoordinated. American President George W. Bush was appointed leader of the Dolphins, a move that's logic is debated to this day.

Human Leadership

Human leadership consisted of dozens of world leaders, people like Oprah and Richard Stallman. Later in the war, human leadership used

The Early War



On March 3rd 2007 18,000 Dolphin troops landed on the New Brunswick coast(fully clad in protective armor to protect from the dry air). The invasion was successful at first as the Dolphins pushed thirty miles into Canadian territory, before being beaten back by rabid beavers (there are no people in Canada). The Beavers' victory was costly however, as 20,713 beavers were killed for the loss of 1,817 Dolphins.


Human victory was finally achieved after two years of war, when Chuck Norris was sent to the Dolphin City to bring a decisive end to the war. As many as 1,500 Dolphins were killed in the attack, including most of the higher leadership. The war kinda sorta petered out after that. There was no formal end to the war, meaning that, technically, the war still continues.

See Also

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