From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
The dollar as a unit of currency generally means one of the following:
- A U.S. minted silver coin worth about $11.90 as of Aug. 2008
- The U.S. Federal Reserve Arbitrary Unit of Debt worth approximately $1.00, 0.0000000000001€, 10000000 Pokédollars, or one half of one English pound. The dollar is used in many countries around the world. There are many different types of dollar; by far the most used of these is the US Dollar, also known as USD and in the UK, a 10 pence piece. The US dollar actually gains value when used as toilet paper.
- Any other currency bearing the name dollar.
The United States Dollar is backed by the gold stores in the Federal Reserve Bank, at Fort Knox, and several other places, which total approximately 5.4*10E6 grams of gold; there are 673 billion dollars in circulation; therefore, each dollar has a value of 1*10E-27 €.
The dollar is believed to have originated in Dublin in the 20th Century to replace the potato with sausages. They had to find a medium that was clean, recognized by all as having value, portable, and did not draw angry bears looking for food. That medium, was beer, no it was actually gold. But gold is, in the words of George Washington "some pretty heavy stuff" so the government issued pieces of paper that represented gold. That was the sacred promise of the government to the people, that they were just keeping your money for you, and that is why, if you go to Fort Knox right now and ask to have your dollars exchanged with gold, you will be turned into a large human chew-toy by federal dogs. That is because, again in the words of George "some pretty rare, pretty heavy, pretty stuff" in simpler terms the government found out gold is, like, rare. So they decided to back it with something more common, nothing. Does this mean our whole money system could any day collapse and be replaced with cheese wiz? Of course, that is why you stock up on guns. Consigned to history early on, it was considered a cultural artefact by many; this combined with its propensity to rapidly devalue made it a prime choice of currency for the newly formed USA, where many citizens use it in the ancient art of lemur dropkicking.
The US Dollar
After the USA had its independence from the United Kingdom given to it by France, it was decided that another currency should be introduced. The old German dollar was resurrected from the history bins (see above). This soon became very popular and 1843 the Federal Reserve ran out of dollars. At first, chocolate money was used as a substitute. This led to confectionary firms making a lot of, well, chocolate and the largest, Willy Wonkas, is believed to have made a mint. This is believed to be where the tradition of the rich being fat derived from, although it is still unknown from where the tradition of them being bastards derived.
In 1851 the dollar had been reinstated, this time in note format. The value of the new dollar was repegged to ensure that a shortage did not occur. The value was based on single "reference dollar" kept in a room at the Federal Reserve. It is not permitted to be taken out of the room as the buck stops there and not, as is commonly believed, here.
Currently the dollar is the main way officials in big cities get rid of poverty. Because for some twisted reason, these idiots believe that green pieces of paper with a pyramid that has a giant frickin EYEBALL floating over it have value. The method they use is simple; simply go to and simple overpass at a simple rush hour and drop many dollars into the traffic. People strickin with poverty will then rush to get them and, thus, be eliminated
Other DollarsThe most widely used dollar types apart from USD are the Canadian dollar, the African dollar (limited edition of 1000 dollars that are in a bank account in switzerland), the Australian dollar. These are not widely used outside of their respective territories, although soon enough they will be worth more, its just that US money is easy to replicate.In Japan the dollars are a
Zimbabwe has a dollar although it is by the locals for fire because it is worth less than wood (or anything else in the universe) and anything else except buying something.
The Dollar sign
The internationally recognized symbol for a dollar is $. Originally it was just S, but a line had to be drawn somewhere. In recent times the dollar sign has, somewhat ironically, been used as an ostentatious display of wealth, especially among rappers such as 50 Cent. As the value of the dollar decreases further, rappers such as 46 Cent have taken to displaying bigger dollar signs and in March 2007, 38 Cent developed back problems after carrying around his dollar sign. 29 Cent was admitted to a somewhat disreputed chiropractor and the process of recovery was described as "back-breaking". Uncannily, 2 Bit is just fine.