Dogs

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[[Image:funnypepsi.jpg|right|thumb|240px|A dog enjoying the refreshing taste Pepsi.]]
[[Image:funnypepsi.jpg|right|240px]]
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'''Dogs''' (or "Good baby!, good boy"), are friends not food (take note Korean readers). As the reigning, dominant species on [[Earth]] (manifested by their uncanny ability to force [[human]]s to pick up their [[crap|biological leavings]] from the street ''while the dog supervises!'') they enslave humans by making them willingly buy expensive 60-lb. bags of designer [[food]], spend a fortune on cookie treats shaped like poodles and mailmen,<ref>Studies have shown, no matter how much you feed a dog, the cute little maternal bitch-fucker 'still'' wants YOUR food!</ref>, and then pay out-of-pocket ''again'' for the dogs costly health care needs.
'''Dogs''' (or '''canines''', or '''What a good dog! Good baby''') are the reigning, dominant species on [[Earth]], a fact manifested by their uncanny ability to force their [[human]]s to pick up their [[crap|biological leavings]] from the street ''while the dog supervises''. They also enslave people by making them willingly buy expensive 60-lb. bags of designer [[food]], cookie treats shaped like poodles and mailmen,<ref>Studies have shown, no matter how much you feed a dog, the cute little maternal bitch-fucker 'still'' wants YOUR food!</ref>, and then pay out-of-pocket for their costly health care needs. Dogs bark real loud right next to your ear just because they see another dog walking by - something they've seen thousands of times before! Then they force their humans to take ''them out'' for walks during thunderstorms and gale winds. On top of all that, the human slave must leave the dog's home every morning to work a job while the dog spends his day chewing shoes, drinking from the toilet, licking his balls, humping the slave's wife while she sleeps, and pissing on the slave's stuff in-between enjoying numerous naps on the couch.
 
   
To do all of this, dogs evolved hardcore psychological manipulation traits to control their primate puppets. Using Darwinian tricks of body language - especially the crucial development of eyebrows which make them appear sad and/or cute - dogs have captured the high-ground on the "Survival of the Fittest" pyramid.
+
Dogs bark real loud right next to your ear just because they see another dog walking by - something they've seen thousands of times before! They force humans to take ''them out'' for walks during thunderstorms and gale winds. And on top of all this, their human slaves leave the dog's home every morning to work a job while the dog spends his day chewing shoes, drinking from the toilet, licking his balls, humping the slave's wife while she sleeps, and pissing on the slave's stuff in-between enjoying numerous naps on the couch.
  +
  +
To do all of this, dogs have stealthy evolved hardcore psychological manipulation traits designed to control their primate puppets. Using Darwinian tricks of body language - especially the crucial development of eyebrows which make them appear forlorn and/or cute - dogs have captured the high-ground on the "Survival of the Fittest" pyramid.
   
 
==Who Let The Dogs Out?==
 
==Who Let The Dogs Out?==
 
Despite popular sentiment and trite birthday cards, a [[Dog|dog]] is man's worst enemy.
 
Despite popular sentiment and trite birthday cards, a [[Dog|dog]] is man's worst enemy.
 
[[File:Dog.gif|right|thumb|259px|What are you looking at?]]
 
[[File:Dog.gif|right|thumb|259px|What are you looking at?]]
All dogs, great and small, would not hesitate for an instant to savagely kill their owners, tear off their lifeless head, and shit down their neck. They would eat their owners children and fuck their women.<ref>You think we're ''kidding''? Look at that woman in France! ''Her own dog'' '''ate her face, and then asked for a cookie!'''!</ref> Luckily, dogs restrain themselves in most cases, because attacking their human means almost certainly the end of having a leg to hump, meaty table scraps, and a warm house with [[kibble]], cold water, and [[sausages]].
+
All dogs, great and small, would not hesitate for an instant to savagely kill their owners, tear off their lifeless head, and shit down their neck. They would eat their owners children and fuck their women.<ref>You think we're ''kidding''? Look at that woman in France! ''Her own dog'' '''ate her face, and then asked for a cookie!'''!</ref> Luckily for the domesticated great apes, dogs restrain themselves in most cases, because attacking their human usually means the end of leg-humping, meaty table scraps, and a warm house with [[kibble]], cold water, and [[sausages]].
   
Attacking their human and their neighbors can also result in being hit in the head with a rolled-up newspaper and/or death by lethal injection. Dogs are definitely not as stupid as they look.
+
Attacking their human and the neighbor kids can also result in being hit in the head with a rolled-up newspaper and/or death by lethal injection, so they wisely back off. Dogs are definitely not as stupid as they look.
   
 
==Puppies==
 
==Puppies==
When young dogs (or "puppies", as they are sometimes mockingly referred to) are brought together in groups of 10 or more and placed in a blanketed cardboard box, they create happiness in females and small children who enjoy being licked in the face by the pups despite the fact that they've been eating their own brown droppings and licking their genitalia. Though they are cute, they cannot be trained away from their natural killer instinct, and only two or three emerge from the cardboard box to roam free.
+
When young dogs (or "puppies", as they are sometimes mockingly referred to) are brought together in groups of seven or more and placed in a blanketed cardboard box, they create happiness in female primates and small children, who enjoy being licked in the face despite the fact that the pups have been eating their own shit and licking their genitalia. Though all the puppies in the soft nest are cute, they cannot be trained away from their natural killer instinct, and only two or three emerge from the cardboard box to roam free.
   
 
==Redeemable Uses==
 
==Redeemable Uses==
 
[[Image:SamUgliestDogLulu.jpg|right|thumb|This dog will cut you.]]
 
[[Image:SamUgliestDogLulu.jpg|right|thumb|This dog will cut you.]]
 
[[Image:Pitbull10.jpg|thumb|left|220px|"Waz it you fuck with my bitches?"]]
 
[[Image:Pitbull10.jpg|thumb|left|220px|"Waz it you fuck with my bitches?"]]
Studies have shown that dogs do have several redeemable uses. This might be the reason why people acquire the animal as a "[[pet]]", ignoring the warnings found on [[Uncyclopedia|this site]]. The following is a list containing the most common ways to make use of dogs:
+
Studies have shown that dogs have several redeemable uses. This might be the reason why people acquire the animal as a "[[pet]]", ignoring the warnings found on [[Uncyclopedia|this site]]. The following is a list containing the most common ways to make use of dogs:
   
*'''Guard dogs'''. It's one of the two most common reasons women want a dog. If a bad guy knows there's a big dog in the house he's more inclined to rob and accidentally kill the dogless neighbor. This is fine with you, and the dog gets rewarded when you find out about the carnage next door. Good dog, good baby.
+
*'''Guard dogs'''. It's one of the two most common reasons women want a dog. If a bad guy knows there's a big dog in the house he's more inclined to rob and accidentally kill the dogless neighbor. This is fine with you, and the dog gets rewarded when you find out about the carnage next door. Good dog, good baby!
   
*'''Chases squirrels'''. This gives you hours of viewing enjoyment.
+
*'''Chases squirrels'''. This gives you hours of viewing enjoyment, especially when the squirrel falls out of a tree and has to scramble.
   
*'''Guide dogs for the deaf'''. It's considered a useful waste of time to try to teach dogs sign language in order that they may be of some minor use to deaf people. This attempt was captured in the children's film "Run! [[Lassie]]'s Gone Rabid!":
+
*'''Guide dogs for the deaf'''. It's considered a useful waste of time to try to teach dogs sign language so they can be of some minor use to deaf people. This attempt was captured in the children's film "Run Old Lady! [[Lassie]]'s Gone Rabid!":
   
 
:"Hey dad!! Look it's Lassie. I think she's trying to tell us something. What's she saying, Dad?"
 
:"Hey dad!! Look it's Lassie. I think she's trying to tell us something. What's she saying, Dad?"
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==Little Known Dog-Related Hazards==
 
==Little Known Dog-Related Hazards==
Should you somehow end up with the responsibility for a dog, it's important to know the common hazards of dogcare. Though they are many and difficult to grasp, it might result in much pain for you and your pet, should they be ignored.
+
Should you somehow end up with a dog it's important to know the common hazards of dogcare. Though they are many, and difficult to grasp, it might result in much pain for both you and your pet should they be ignored.
 
<table><TR><TD WIDTH="50%">
 
<table><TR><TD WIDTH="50%">
   
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'''Stupid Dogs'''
 
'''Stupid Dogs'''
 
*[[Poodle|Poodles]] - Poodles, widely maligned for the aggressivness of the breed, are merely insanely happy yet stubborn dogs. Plus, most poodles are simply gay. However do take care, as standard poodles which aren't into hair curlers and pompom tails will easily have your arm off instead.
 
*[[Poodle|Poodles]] - Poodles, widely maligned for the aggressivness of the breed, are merely insanely happy yet stubborn dogs. Plus, most poodles are simply gay. However do take care, as standard poodles which aren't into hair curlers and pompom tails will easily have your arm off instead.
*[[Dalmatians]] - Dalmatians are actually very bright dogs *cough*cough* (one's watching me, and have to play it cool). As such, they enjoy a wide range of activities, including discussing the works of Shakespeare in bark and setting political rivals running with bones. Yet like all other dogs, they are not above eating grass, rolling in shit, and either licking their genitalia or having their genitalia licked by their willing owners (it's still watching me, so I have to pretend to enjoy the licking. The taste is kind of punguent, though).
+
*[[Dalmatians]] - Dalmatians are actually very bright dogs *cough*cough* (one's watching me, so I have to play it cool). As such, they enjoy a wide range of activities, including discussing the works of Shakespeare in bark, setting political rivals running with bones, and obtaining crude enjoyment from chasing a ball. Yet like all other dogs, they are not above eating grass, rolling in shit, and either licking their genitalia or having their genitalia licked by their willing owners (it's still watching me, so I have to pretend to enjoy the licking. The taste is kind of punguent, don't you think?).
*Samoyed - Large, fluffy, and white, this dog is actually a polar bear in a clever dog disguise. Unfortunately, most of them are too stupid to realize this and spend their time slobbering and making fun of Huskies, whom they claim are "Girlie Dogs." Their owners wonder why they like to chase seals.
+
*Samoyed - Large, fluffy, and white, this dog is actually a polar bear in a clever dog disguise. Unfortunately, most of them are too stupid to realize this, and spend their time slobbering and making fun of Huskies, whom they claim are "Girlie Dogs." Their owners wonder why they like to chase seals.
*Pitbullshit Terrier - A cross breed between Bull Terriers and Politicians, known for a loud bark and tiny brain, and for eating its own feces.
+
*Pitbullshit Terrier - A cross breed between Bull Terriers and Politicians, known for a loud bark and tiny brain, and for eating its own feces and calling it golden.
   
 
'''Moderately Clever Dogs'''
 
'''Moderately Clever Dogs'''
*[[German Shepherd]] - Otherwise known as Inspector Rex, it's a qualified detective dog with the added talent of barking in [[German]] with an [[Austrian]] accent. Can be used to herd things around the yard, if you're into that.
+
*[[German Shepherd]] - Otherwise known as Inspector Rex, it's a qualified detective dog with the added talent of barking in [[German]] with an [[Austrian]] accent. Can be used to herd things around the yard, if you're into that, or just like watching.
 
*[[St. Bernard]] - It can bring you drinks but has trouble with the pretzels.
 
*[[St. Bernard]] - It can bring you drinks but has trouble with the pretzels.
 
*Pekingese - Bred for their powers in oratory, as well as their compact microwavable size.
 
*Pekingese - Bred for their powers in oratory, as well as their compact microwavable size.
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*{{W|The Littlest Hobo}} - Has no fixed address to come home to, but still manages to be Canada's Lassie equivilent.
 
*{{W|The Littlest Hobo}} - Has no fixed address to come home to, but still manages to be Canada's Lassie equivilent.
 
*[[Yellow Brick Road|Toto]] - Knew about the shoe clicking thing all along, just liked the long walk.
 
*[[Yellow Brick Road|Toto]] - Knew about the shoe clicking thing all along, just liked the long walk.
*[[Beethoven]] - Possibly the cleverest and most evil movie dog. Loves sloppy seconds and animated cats.
 
   
'''Nondescript'''
+
==[[Cats]] vs Dogs==
*[[Generic Dog]] - You are probably familiar with this breed and have read an article about it on Wikipedia.
+
Dogs love cats. True, very true. Often with a side-order of squirrel.
 
==[[CATS|Cats]] vs Dogs==
 
Dogs love cats. True. very true. Often with a side-order of squirrel.
 
   
 
When the two species meet there are only three possible conclusions
 
When the two species meet there are only three possible conclusions
 
*1. The two animals ignore each other.
 
*1. The two animals ignore each other.
*2. The Dog attacks the cat and tears him to shreds.
+
*2. The dog attacks the cat and tears it to shreds.
*3. The Cat attacks the dog and tears him a few tiny holes.
+
*3. The cat attacks the dog and tears it a few tiny holes, usually to the eyeball.
   
 
==Some dogs just aren't worth the trouble==
 
==Some dogs just aren't worth the trouble==
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==What dogs eat==
 
==What dogs eat==
[[File:Mike-vick.jpg|thumb|190px|'''This Michael Vick guy. He's toast.''']]
+
[[File:Mike-vick.jpg|thumb|300px|This Michael Vick guy. He's toast.]]
Their vomit and poop, often in profuse quantities.
+
Their own vomit and poop, often in profuse quantities.
   
Suicidal dogs eat [[Chocolate crack|chocolate]], a very [[UnNews:Deadly spinach kills sailor, sickens tot|unhealthy]] food for a canine. After chocolate consumption, they will become temporarily energetic, and with a high enough dose, they will never return from the crash! Very good for making your outside dog an [[Tombstone|inside]] dog. When using this training technique you may want to take your dog to the taxidermist.
+
Suicidal dogs know what they like, and they eat [[Chocolate crack|chocolate]], a very [[UnNews:Deadly spinach kills sailor, sickens tot|unhealthy]] food for a canine. After chocolate consumption, they will first become temporarily energetic, then collapse into a stupor, and with a high enough dose they will never return from the crash! When you see man's best friend with the last crumbs of a entire chocolate cake hanging from its whiskers, you may want to take your dog to the taxidermist.
   
Other dogs. The cheaper brands of dog food in most developed countries contain, [[Truth|the bodies of dogs and horses]]. In undeveloped countries, you don't want to know.
+
Other dogs. The cheaper brands of dog food in most developed countries contain [[Truth|the bodies of dogs and horses]]. In undeveloped countries, you don't want to know.
   
 
==Can dogs laugh?==
 
==Can dogs laugh?==
There is an honest debate in scientific and zoological circles about if dogs have the ability to smile and laugh, or if the shape of their mouths and eyebrows just make them look like they're laughing. Dogs on the scene of a [[Laugh track|railroad fatality]] do sound like they're laughing, and their zoologist friends laugh along with them.
+
There is an honest debate in scientific and zoological circles surrounding the question "Do dogs have the ability to smile and laugh, or does the shape of their mouths and eyebrows just make them appear to be laughing?" Dogs on the scene of a [[Laugh track|railroad fatality]] do sound like they're laughing, and their zoologist friends laugh right along with them.
   
 
== Are dogs clever? ==
 
== Are dogs clever? ==
Yes! Because a dog is just a wolf who shaved off his hair to make the other dogs horny. On the other hand, dogs are so gay that they even lick there own balls.
+
Yes! Because a dog is just a wolf who shaved off his hair to make the other dogs horny. On the other hand, dogs lick there own balls and can effortlessly bark at nothing for hours.
   
 
==Do you need to fight your dog?==
 
==Do you need to fight your dog?==
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== References ==
 
== References ==
 
<references />
 
<references />
  +
{{-}}
 
[[File:Dogma.jpg|center]]
 
[[File:Dogma.jpg|center]]
 
<div style="text-align:center">http://www.jokedujour.com/barn/Ugly-llama.jpg</div>
 
<div style="text-align:center">http://www.jokedujour.com/barn/Ugly-llama.jpg</div>
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[[Category:Doggy Style]]
 
[[Category:Doggy Style]]
 
[[Category:Pink Floyd]]
 
[[Category:Pink Floyd]]
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[[Category:Animals]]
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{{FA|date=25 January 2014|revision=5761238}}
 
[[ar:الكلب]]
 
[[ar:الكلب]]
 
[[cs:Pes]]
 
[[cs:Pes]]

Latest revision as of 22:13, February 27, 2014

Funnypepsi

A dog enjoying the refreshing taste Pepsi.

Dogs (or "Good baby!, good boy"), are friends not food (take note Korean readers). As the reigning, dominant species on Earth (manifested by their uncanny ability to force humans to pick up their biological leavings from the street while the dog supervises!) they enslave humans by making them willingly buy expensive 60-lb. bags of designer food, spend a fortune on cookie treats shaped like poodles and mailmen,[1], and then pay out-of-pocket again for the dogs costly health care needs.

Dogs bark real loud right next to your ear just because they see another dog walking by - something they've seen thousands of times before! They force humans to take them out for walks during thunderstorms and gale winds. And on top of all this, their human slaves leave the dog's home every morning to work a job while the dog spends his day chewing shoes, drinking from the toilet, licking his balls, humping the slave's wife while she sleeps, and pissing on the slave's stuff in-between enjoying numerous naps on the couch.

To do all of this, dogs have stealthy evolved hardcore psychological manipulation traits designed to control their primate puppets. Using Darwinian tricks of body language - especially the crucial development of eyebrows which make them appear forlorn and/or cute - dogs have captured the high-ground on the "Survival of the Fittest" pyramid.

edit Who Let The Dogs Out?

Despite popular sentiment and trite birthday cards, a dog is man's worst enemy.

Dog

What are you looking at?

All dogs, great and small, would not hesitate for an instant to savagely kill their owners, tear off their lifeless head, and shit down their neck. They would eat their owners children and fuck their women.[2] Luckily for the domesticated great apes, dogs restrain themselves in most cases, because attacking their human usually means the end of leg-humping, meaty table scraps, and a warm house with kibble, cold water, and sausages.

Attacking their human and the neighbor kids can also result in being hit in the head with a rolled-up newspaper and/or death by lethal injection, so they wisely back off. Dogs are definitely not as stupid as they look.

edit Puppies

When young dogs (or "puppies", as they are sometimes mockingly referred to) are brought together in groups of seven or more and placed in a blanketed cardboard box, they create happiness in female primates and small children, who enjoy being licked in the face despite the fact that the pups have been eating their own shit and licking their genitalia. Though all the puppies in the soft nest are cute, they cannot be trained away from their natural killer instinct, and only two or three emerge from the cardboard box to roam free.

edit Redeemable Uses

SamUgliestDogLulu

This dog will cut you.

Pitbull10

"Waz it you fuck with my bitches?"

Studies have shown that dogs have several redeemable uses. This might be the reason why people acquire the animal as a "pet", ignoring the warnings found on this site. The following is a list containing the most common ways to make use of dogs:

  • Guard dogs. It's one of the two most common reasons women want a dog. If a bad guy knows there's a big dog in the house he's more inclined to rob and accidentally kill the dogless neighbor. This is fine with you, and the dog gets rewarded when you find out about the carnage next door. Good dog, good baby!
  • Chases squirrels. This gives you hours of viewing enjoyment, especially when the squirrel falls out of a tree and has to scramble.
  • Guide dogs for the deaf. It's considered a useful waste of time to try to teach dogs sign language so they can be of some minor use to deaf people. This attempt was captured in the children's film "Run Old Lady! Lassie's Gone Rabid!":
"Hey dad!! Look it's Lassie. I think she's trying to tell us something. What's she saying, Dad?"
Dogfirstclass

The bastards always get preferential treatment.

"Looks kinda like "Woof!" to me, son."

edit Little Known Dog-Related Hazards

Should you somehow end up with a dog it's important to know the common hazards of dogcare. Though they are many, and difficult to grasp, it might result in much pain for both you and your pet should they be ignored.

edit Doggable

Hazard
Dogs that have an extremely low flash point and boiling point, and give out gases that catch fire in contact with air.
Safety measures
Try not to expose dog to high temperatures (like sunlight), smoke nearby (smokin'!), or place securely in the oven and set it at 400 for fifty minutes (applies to the microwave as well... Especially for those tasty poodles).

edit Dogxidising

Hazard
Dogs that react exothermically with other substances.
Safety measures
Do not expose to flammable dogs (see Flammable Dogs); do not expose to unstable chemicals; keep toilet lids closed.

edit Dogsplosive

Hazard
Dogs that asplode.
Safety measures
Do not expose to extreme temperatures; do not puncture (even when dead); do not leave for prolonged periods in direct sunlight; do not allow to jump off elevated surfaces. Do not travel on aircraft after oral ingestion.

edit Dogxic

Hazard
Dogs which are liable to cause death or serious injury to human health if inhaled, swallowed or by skin absorption.
Safety measures
Do not consume; do not take part in the dog tradition of sniffing a canine's butt; avoid drool; wash hands after each and every contact.

edit Dogorrosive

Hazard
Dogs that may destroy living tissue on contact.
Safety measures
Do not expose to bare, unprotected skin; keep away from other pets (including children).

edit Dogs: Different Types, Different Levels of Fame

Dogman

Not a popular breed.

Doggie-pooper-scooper

A very smart dog.

Dog obesity

Happy in its own skin, a dog that has bravely rejected society's unrealistic body-image.

There are literally dozens of different kinds of dogs. Man has been playing Dr. Frankenstein with the size, shape and temperament of the wolf for centuries, for no appreciable reason other than to prove that they can. Here is a comprehensive list of breeds, complete with an informative and enlightening summary of the dog's most salient characteristics.

edit Types of Dogs

Stupid Dogs

  • Poodles - Poodles, widely maligned for the aggressivness of the breed, are merely insanely happy yet stubborn dogs. Plus, most poodles are simply gay. However do take care, as standard poodles which aren't into hair curlers and pompom tails will easily have your arm off instead.
  • Dalmatians - Dalmatians are actually very bright dogs *cough*cough* (one's watching me, so I have to play it cool). As such, they enjoy a wide range of activities, including discussing the works of Shakespeare in bark, setting political rivals running with bones, and obtaining crude enjoyment from chasing a ball. Yet like all other dogs, they are not above eating grass, rolling in shit, and either licking their genitalia or having their genitalia licked by their willing owners (it's still watching me, so I have to pretend to enjoy the licking. The taste is kind of punguent, don't you think?).
  • Samoyed - Large, fluffy, and white, this dog is actually a polar bear in a clever dog disguise. Unfortunately, most of them are too stupid to realize this, and spend their time slobbering and making fun of Huskies, whom they claim are "Girlie Dogs." Their owners wonder why they like to chase seals.
  • Pitbullshit Terrier - A cross breed between Bull Terriers and Politicians, known for a loud bark and tiny brain, and for eating its own feces and calling it golden.

Moderately Clever Dogs

  • German Shepherd - Otherwise known as Inspector Rex, it's a qualified detective dog with the added talent of barking in German with an Austrian accent. Can be used to herd things around the yard, if you're into that, or just like watching.
  • St. Bernard - It can bring you drinks but has trouble with the pretzels.
  • Pekingese - Bred for their powers in oratory, as well as their compact microwavable size.
  • Tamagotchi - Required for witty dinner-party repartee and social eloquence.
  • Bulldog - Knows enough to keep out of the rain, but not enough to not eat its own sneezes.

Genius Dogs (by individual)

  • Lassie - Comes home.
  • The Littlest Hobo - Has no fixed address to come home to, but still manages to be Canada's Lassie equivilent.
  • Toto - Knew about the shoe clicking thing all along, just liked the long walk.

edit Cats vs Dogs

Dogs love cats. True, very true. Often with a side-order of squirrel.

When the two species meet there are only three possible conclusions

  • 1. The two animals ignore each other.
  • 2. The dog attacks the cat and tears it to shreds.
  • 3. The cat attacks the dog and tears it a few tiny holes, usually to the eyeball.

edit Some dogs just aren't worth the trouble

edit What dogs eat

Mike-vick

This Michael Vick guy. He's toast.

Their own vomit and poop, often in profuse quantities.

Suicidal dogs know what they like, and they eat chocolate, a very unhealthy food for a canine. After chocolate consumption, they will first become temporarily energetic, then collapse into a stupor, and with a high enough dose they will never return from the crash! When you see man's best friend with the last crumbs of a entire chocolate cake hanging from its whiskers, you may want to take your dog to the taxidermist.

Other dogs. The cheaper brands of dog food in most developed countries contain the bodies of dogs and horses. In undeveloped countries, you don't want to know.

edit Can dogs laugh?

There is an honest debate in scientific and zoological circles surrounding the question "Do dogs have the ability to smile and laugh, or does the shape of their mouths and eyebrows just make them appear to be laughing?" Dogs on the scene of a railroad fatality do sound like they're laughing, and their zoologist friends laugh right along with them.

edit Are dogs clever?

Yes! Because a dog is just a wolf who shaved off his hair to make the other dogs horny. On the other hand, dogs lick there own balls and can effortlessly bark at nothing for hours.

edit Do you need to fight your dog?

Pink panther

Why are you laughing? You're next!

Do you need to fight your dog? Has it challenged you one time too many?

Then read this "Very Qwick-to-Learn" HowTo!

Good luck!

edit References

  1. Studies have shown, no matter how much you feed a dog, the cute little maternal bitch-fucker 'still wants YOUR food!
  2. You think we're kidding? Look at that woman in France! Her own dog ate her face, and then asked for a cookie!!


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