Dobby

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“It's Dobby sir, Dobby the house elf”

~ Dobby on Himself

“I Hate that little pest! I'll tell you what would be for your own good ya bloody stalkin' troll, leave me the fuck alone!”

~ Harry Potter on Dobby

“Yay, yay! A SOCK! Dobby is free! & Dobby also got a book, a sock & a book! Dobby just cant believe i got a sock! like, dobby's wanted one of these things since dobby was born!”

~ Dobby spazzes on about his sock

"Dobby always has loved Harry Potter. Dobby loves Harry Potter strongly, in a gay, sexual way, he dose sir."

“No one has ever seen Dobby and E.T. in the same film. Suspicious?”

~ Oscar Wilde on Dobby

Dobby (June 28, 1986 - March 26, 1998) AKA Harry Potter's stalker is a small, Emo, bug-eyed buttugly martian from parts unknown. He loves to hurt himself and Harry while claiming he has done it for Harry's own good. He also enjoys burning himself with hot irons, hitting himself in the head with anything availabe, and eating cat poop. Dobby is the offspring of the world's first man-to-man-reproduction, consisting Jar Jar Binks and Goullum. Dobby was also revealed to be a distant second cousin to Yoda. In his later years, Dobby decided to perform a DIY sex change, now named 'Dooby' she prowls the streets at night, hoping for a late night quickie with unsuspecting muggles.

[edit] Dobby's Gay Crush on Harry Potter

“Dobby always loved Harry Potter sir. When Dobby thinks about Harry Potter sir, Dobby jizzes on his pillow-case, Dobby does sir.”

~ Dobby on His Sexual Feelings about Harry Potter

Dobby managed to get Harry Naked during his second year at hogwarts.

Dobby Began stalking Harry Potter since he was born. Dobby had to hide his feelings from the beging because he knew he would be considered a beastiality pedophile. Dobby watch from a distance till Harry's 12th birthday. Then the stalker side of Dobby hit an all-time high and he broke into #4 privet drive to huff Harry's underwear. He was discovered in the room by Harry latter that day. By that time Dobby had already jizzed on half the room's contents. Harry was awestruck at the mess and chased the bat-eared miget down to the living room. Harry threw a cake at Dobby and Dobby escaped, and Harry was put in kiddie-jail for the mess he made. Harry vowed revenge. He plotted to find and kill that evil creature. Harry manged to escape kiddie-jail with the help of his friends, the Weaslbees.

Later that year Dobby began to plan a way to get Harry naked. Dobby possed magic nobody else had. He took matters into his own hands. He snuck into Harry's room and put invisible ink all over Harry's clothes, and put the remains of the ink in his TAG Bodyspray canister. Dobby suceeded, and Harry, who was so embarssed, couldn't react. Dobby Jizzed on Harry's face, snapped his fingers, and vanished.

Dobby began stealing Harry's clothes while he was in class. He returned some, but the remaing ones were jizzed beyond belief. He was going to make Harry Potter his. He divised a plan to pop the question to Harry.

[edit] Harry Loses It

Dobby was completely un-prepared for the sith lightning assault by Harry when he visited #4 privte drve to pop the question to him

Dobby followed Harry home to privte drive that summer. He was completley confident that Harry would realize they where destined for each other. He had bought the most expensive engagement ring he could afford, (A used washer from a local junk-yard), and was prepared to answer any doubts Harry might have about how their relationship could work out in the end. He even wrote a speech he was going to recite to Harry when he asked him to marry him.

But things were all to hard to predict for Dobby. Harry spotted the evil troll, and immeditly assulted him with sith lighting. He told him to beg for mercy. But Dobby was heart-broken and coudn't speak. He let himself get owned by Harry Potter, and died of a broken heart on the spot. Harry then beat Dobby's corapse around. He realized soon after, that he had a dead troll in his muggle home. He snuck out of privte drive late one nicht while his fat relatives slept. He burried Dobby's stinking corapse in a nearby playground sandbox.

[edit] JK Rowling's Cover-Up of Dobby's Death

When JK Rowling discoverd one of the priciple charcters in here Harry Potter series was dead, she quickly covered-up all the evidence. (Or so she thought) She decide to have Dobby be set free by Harry. Later on, some 8 years after the fact, Dobby's corapse was discoverd by a young child at a local playground. She was instantly screwed. She Killed him off imeditly after word got out. Dobby dies in chp.23 of Deathly Hallows due to Gang Bang stabing incedent by a bunch of death-eaters.

[edit] Dobby:The Living Dead

Dobby showed up at Harry's on certain nights in zombie form, only to get owned and reburried in the playground sandbox

Dobby was still magical, even in death. He rose from the grave on certain nights to visit his beloved Harry Potter. Unfortunately, his testicals were eaten by vultuerus seaglls durring his first day in the grave, so he couldn't jizz anymore. He was owend by Harry whenever he attempted to visit him. Further breaking his heart. His heart died over time, and in good old zombie fasion, he gained a case of the munchies for human brains. He began sneeking into #4 privte drive to feed on the dursleys brains. #4 began to smell like ass soon after, and Harry final grew up and moved out. Dobby disapered, hopefully for the final time...

[edit] Dobby Links

• Ask Dobby.com:[1]